Category: being hot, and other sexy things

Pioneer sex – can you do it with mosquitos buzzing around?

Amish  PBS television (viewed in Canada on HGTV) is running a reality series where two couples live off the land with no technology a la pioneers for an entire year. This is not 39 days in a hot climate with sexy people like Survivor, no this is building a cabin, sleeping with your pig, in Manitoba, home of more mosquitos per capita than anyother place in Canada or maybe the world.  I’ve been to Manitoba, and I had mosquitos in my hotel room in downtown Winnipeg-  in September!!@  These reality show couples complained about mosquito bites they got on their ass every time they went pee, and how couldn’t leave the tent after dusk to go for a leak because the bugs were just that bad. The episode I saw was after living together in a tent for 2 months, the two couples finally had their own space and were going to get to have sex for the first time in months! 

They couldn’t have sex outside (for the aforementioned reasons not to mention the cameras), but it struck me as me as somewhat less than idealic lovemaking conditions. I used to say that before the turn of the 20th century when we didnt have elecric light, the thing most adults did after dark was sleep, nurse babies and boff.  I thought it much more romantic that you had way, way more time for sex.  But now after seeing this "reality" (great show check out the linkthis is really reality) I’ve thinking that technology, DEET, vibrators, and those electronic bug zappers may be sexier after all.

Just a thought.

Boobs- we must we must increase our busts

Breasts  If you are of a certain age, you remember the line from Judy Blume’s book "Hello God it’s me Margret" cool kids author  about how obsessed women are with their breast size.  Not quite as obsessed as men and the size of their dangling dicks, but that’s a rant for another day.  Billions of dollars are spent on breast augmentation- which you have to have repackaged with saline about 10 years later.  Not to mention the pain, money and side effects.  I’m working on this new technique and clinical study to grow yours naturally. Interesting research study.  If you are interested in trying a new, pain-free, and free technique to increase your breast size, I’m looking for guinea pig er I mean candiates to try this.  Email me at suem@rogers.com

fish oil for your hard on’s

I was speaking with my buddy Mike Bode yesterdaymike’s site.  He’s the former Mr. Strongman guy that now runs this leading store selling nutricitionals and testosterone based supplements.  He tells me that Omega 3’s, Yohimbine in it’s strongest form, and a product called Vigor is what you need to keep the blood flowing through your Mr. Johnson.  It helps women reach orgasm, but is especially effective for me. Omega 3’s are best as either wild salmon oil, or believe it or not, seal oil.  Support the Newfoundland fishing industry, and buy some of the native seal oil tablets.  They have almost double the Omega 3 oil, and is very good for your weenie.

EEK! Stretchmarks and penis sizes

NotgrabbingI get a bunch of e-mails from women who are so worried about what they look like naked. As a fellow woman with hips, I know how concerning it is to get naked in front of someone new for the first time.  Men, look, but most aren’t expecting porn star bodies, and just want enthusiasm in the bedroom. Guys, it seems, are fretting about the size of their equipment.  Actual, penis size is one of the top three questions I get from men. (premature ejaculation, and erections round it out).  And I tell them that average is better!!!! Too big, and you’re banging away at the back of her vagina, causing her ovaries to get jostled, and feeling like you’re getting stabbed, as he thrusts to what feels like the back of your throat.  I have way more patients come to see me with problems of being too big, rather than too small.  Just for the record, average is about 4-5 inches.  You can look hot and please your partner if you’re only packing a 3 inch dick. It’s much more important what it feels like in girth (width) than length.  We can handle  delivering a baby with a head the  size of a cantelope, but can olny handle a maximum of 5 -6 inches in our little caves.

I’ll give you the dirt on increasing your size, and finding out  what men  really want from thier partners in tomorrow’s blog.  Oh, here is my podcast  on penis size for your listening pleasure.Download sex_with_sue_minute_orgasms.mp3
Sm_woman

 

 

 

 

 

The sex Olympics

So the Olympics just wound up. I think it’s an opportunity to speculate about the possibilities of a sexual Olympics. I’ve got a friend who thinks we should always make our partners feel like they’ve gotten a gold medal. You know, sing O Canada, stand them up on the pedestal, and shower them with accolades. I don’t know if I would agree with that, for women especially, that may involve faking their sincere reactions to pleasure. Hey, I’m all about giving warm fuzzies to your lover, but faking, in my opinion only slams the door on your own pleasure. How’s a partner to know what you like, or even do the necessary work, if you are busy misdirecting or acting out the moans? For men, like with the Canadian hockey team, the gold medal may just involve too much pressure and hype, which can result in difficulties in the clutch. I happen think that as a rule, Canadians are great in bed. We would be showered with medals in this department. Understated, sensitive, used to snuggling together to ward off the cold, and according to the Durex Sex Survey, more concerned about their partners pleasure than their own.

There’s a lot of similarities between sex and the Olympics. It involves sweating, endurance, and those convoluted, scrunched up facial expressions you get when getting to the finish. There are too are all those sports related sex metaphors like throwing rocks, slapshots, scoring between the periods. And don’t even get me started on the sexy snowboarding lingo.

You look at all these really good looking athletes at the Olympics– and they are really good looking given a lifetime of healthy living and exercise, and wonder just how many of them are actually getting some. Maybe they are all saving themselves? Canadian swim coach Dave Johnson included an abstinence pledge in the official code of conduct for the Canadian women’s and men’s swim teams during the 1996 Summer Games in

. Asked about it recently, he said it was largely an attempt to minimize emotional stress for the swimmers. "Sex creates an extra set of distractions for young athletes," he said. In professional football, many teams require players to check into hotels, away from wives or partners, even before home games. The Steelers coaches conduct room checks. Maybe that’s why they won this year’s Superbowl. So maybe you could be in medal contention even if you are flying solo these days….

I think we should be lobbying to make great sex an Olympic event. Maybe the least amount of thrusting before silmultaneous orgasms, or the longest distance ejaculated. It’s something everyone has a good chance of trying out for, and I guarantee it would do wonders for the ratings on CBC and NBC. Just a thought,

I’m Sue McGarvie, and that’s Sue’s spin on sex.

Atlanta

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