Category: Books

Shopping for Mr. Right. New dating advice says that shopping for a partner is like shopping for anything else.


I’ve just finished the easy read – Shopping for Mr. Right. How to choose the right guy and get the most out of him by J.M. Kearns. A proactive little book that claims “You know how to shop for the perfect pair of heels, the airy apartment, and the cool smartphone. What if you could land your dream man the same way?”

I’ve long preached the idea that you need to market yourself on the dating market the way you would market yourself for a job. People don’t marry the boy next door anymore. I think Kearns has a fun and easy way of expressing herself and the chapters flow well. However, I don’t think she gives enough nitty-gritty project management, check-list style ideas on meeting that Mr. Right. I think the concept can go further with templates, action items and timelines.

The good news is that it can help you clarify what you want. I had just finished a Salon article about why smart black women aren’t marrying (the same could be said of French Canadian or Native women) have a gander at
http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/09/04/marriage_and_race_interview/

I think Shopping for Mr. Right can help women turn that corner in their head for women who are stuck. The book at times threatens to become a little too pat and cheesy but for women who have realized that the man of their dreams isn’t waiting for them between work and the grocery store it can give you a framework to get started. My download program – How to meet the love of your live in 3 months or less can help if you are really serious. In the meantime, a short exert from Shopping for Mr. Right may be a better purchase than those new shoes.

The Cinch Diet and The Suprcharged Hormone Diet. Try them this spring and be skinny by bikini season.

There are two hot new diet books just released this spring. One is Cynthia Sass’s new

    Cinch Diet

that claims to “conquer cravings, drop pounds, and lose inches as her subtitle.” The other is by Dr. Natasha Turner called The Supercharged Hormone Diet which is the “30 day accelerated plan to lose weight, restore metabolism and feel younger longer”.

Sass’s Cinch Diet emphasizes eating 5 key foods: almonds, spinach, eggs, raspberries and yogurt for 5 days, and then slowly adding new foods. Sass had a few interesting things to say. The first is that antioxidant levels increase weight loss. I hadn’t heard it said quite so directly. She claims that the phytochemical index (PI) or the chemical compound that naturally occurs in plants is interchangeable with antioxidant. The higher the level of PI, the easier it was to lose weight Alternatively,if you have a normal weight- even if you are eating the same things, you have a higher score and are thus less likely of developing cancers. She also goes on about natural fat burners including apple cider vinegar, citrus juice, hot peppers (cayenne capsules), green tea, basil, and garlic. She also sings the praises of almond butter and almond milk. Sass further explains why calorie counting is outdated. She feels that the quality of very calorie is more important than the total quantity.

She has a number of recipes and some good suggestions but there isn’t much I haven’t read before. Her book in my opinion gets a B.

Now Dr. Turner’s new book is a re-fresh of her hormone diet. She really gets into the list of hormones going on in yor body and offers a detox the first two weeks that she claims will eliminate cravings. She says she cut out the science in this book to make it simpler, but the facts are well presented. She also works with your body PH- which is something I’ve been preaching for awhile and using with my libido patients. Buy the little wheel of PH paper at the health food store and keep a check on your PH level. See what happens after you eat ice cream or drink 2 cups of coffee. Your goal is saliva at 7.2-7.4 each morning.

Nat Turner also has you record your sleep levels, exercise levels and keeps your blood sugar up with detox shakes throughout the day. She also has a bunch of recipes that involve variations on eggs, yogurt, almond butter, berries, and veggies. In this regard both books are similar.

I prefer the hormone diet (a A-) as I notice a huge difference when I take my supplements and balance my blood sugar. I’m keeping a journal as I take the best of both books and see how I fare. I’ll keep you posted.

Why men need to chill before they can interact. It’s all about the hormones.


I’m reading John Gray’s new book Venus on Fire and Mars on Ice about male and female hormonal changes. Now John Gray is an interesting guy. He is the #1 best selling realtionship therapist in history with his book about the differences between men and women (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus). He has some insights into gender (especially understanding guys) and he credits the latest scientific research for how interaction can impact our physical selves. It’s a very interesting understanding that how we get along increases of decreases or hormones. And if you’ve been reading my blog (www.loveandlipstick.com) you’ll know that it’s ALL about your hormones.

His new book explains why men and women behave the way they do.

The truth is we all need to fill up our hormonal bucket before we can interact with our spouse. Men ave been dealing with the world all day and all they want to do when they come home is turn on Sports Center, ope a beer and zone out. Women have laundry, dishes, dinner and need to conect an talk about our days to unwind. The last thing men want to do is talk about their day.

It turns out tha men need quiet to recharge their main hormone- testosterone. Women on the other hand, need to nurture and be nurtured in order to replenish their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is women’s main “feel better” hormone.

Gray goes onto explain that besides zoning out, men get charged by 1. solving problems. 2. feeling needed. Women on the other hand, feel better when they 1. have a listening ear 2. care and cluck over a loved one.

Which translates into him wanting to solve you problem, and you needed just a a chance to air out how you’re feeling. John Gray makes a good point. He says that when women feel like they aren’t fixing things it bugs them. It is that feeling times ten for men. And if a guy is ignored it stings, but it is that feeling times ten when a women isn’t acknowledged.

Good points and what’s interesting is that how you interact GREATLY impacts your health and physcal self. It’s only been in the last few years that we’ve had the research to say that human interaction WILL affect our bodies. Just like stressed people have heat attacks, men who have sex live longer, and people are able to keep their hormones up (and thus be healthier) if they understand the kind of daily human interaction they need.

Just got Jenny McCarthy's new book "Love, Lust and Faking It. The Naked Truth about sex, lies and romance from my friends at Harper Collins. Not in print until the end of the month, I am giving 2 away this weekend on Love and Lipstick. Call me! I want to know the crazy things you've done for love.

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reading about the slightly macbre ways people kick the bucket. This week was adult onset asthma by 48 hour correspondent Harold Dow. Then there was that 40 year old plastic surgeon Christ Koulis 's death by scalpel. Finaly my book on seduction talks about Catherine the Great and the horse she was friendly with….

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The launch of the new book The Libido Diet! It arrived hot off the press last week, and will be hitting the shelves over the next few days!

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Bitches in Heat, Oh my, how comic books have changed

Bitches2 As a kid I was a big X-men fan.  I’m dating myself, but I remember the first Marvel X-men comic issue, (way better than Spidey), and even as a kid, thought Wolverine was very interesting. Loved Hugh Jackman in the X-men movie, I thought he was perfectly cast, he was so sexy. His claws could grow, and I secretly wondered what else about him could grow at will.  Smile. Or Storm, a beautiful, mutant woman who could channel the weather with unbelievable power.  I wanted to grow up to be just like her.

I recently picked up the "Bitches in Heat" comic, one of a series of very kinky, anime porn comics that are all the rage. I have one of my sex addict patients that for him, are the ultimate fanatasy porn, and his particular fetish. These are not the Marvel comics of my childhood.  As my eyebrows raised, I knew we weren’t in Kansas anymore. Anything went. Schoolgirl fantasies, serious bondage, gangbangs, all drawn in very graphic, naughtyBitches3  detail.  Considering the stats on literacy in North America, and how very few of us actually read a book cover to cover since High School, then maybe these are the new erotica.

Maybe I’m getting old, but I didn’t get it. And it sure didn’t turn me on. Give me some good old fashioned well written erotica anyday.  Or at least, Wolverine all decked out in black leather. 

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