Category: Men and sex, Erections, penis size etc.

School of Sex! The Penis. How to pleasure it, make it bigger, last longer, pleasure it, and keep it healthy!

Sunday, February 19, 2017
2:00 PM to 4:30 PM
The Rosemount Orange Hall
41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON

Although she comes first (we did the girl bits School of Sex last month in January 2017), he gets to come next. It’s time for the penis presentation. The next in the School of Sex series is all about the most protruding of male parts.

For men, find out what’s new for your junk. If you are a guy feel free to sit anonymously at the back of the room and stay current about your equipment. This is your chance to find out about how to last longer, stay harder, what actually increases it’s size (and what doesn’t), what toys, tips, and tools help and which ones just take your money. We will have educated male speakers talking about getting the most from your dick. And for those of us who want to touch (play, enjoy, caress etc) penises, learn the skills that will have his eyes roll back in his head. There will be frenulum and testicle touching suggestions, external tricks like “the double-handed backhand”, and the escalator among others that will seriously up your game.

Like all School of Sex events, this is an open event so everyone is welcome. Bring a friend and find out all about the Ducklings and our School of Sex series. We want to up the skill set in the Nation’s Capital so we become the sexiest capital – not the stuffiest. This is not your parents (or your kids) sex ed class. Discounts for the next six School of Sexes and therapy receipts are also available. Find out more and sign up!

You can pay at the door but there are maximums that the room holds so purchasing in advance is strongly encouraged.

$30 per person. Pay in advance to hold your spot.

The Hugo and why the prostate needs some stimulation

hugo

After the Father’s Day weekend I was reading about the money raised for prostate cancer research and was taken aback by the current Canadian statistics about men and their troubled prostates. It turns out that prostate cancer is the most common cancer among Canadian men (excluding non-melanoma skin cancers). It is the 3rd leading cause of death from cancer in men in Canada.

It is estimated that in 2016:
• 25,000 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer. And close to 5,000 Canadian men will die of prostate cancer this year.
We have a family friend of twenty years who is six weeks post-surgery to remove a particularly aggressive form of prostate cancer. As he said in his usual off the cuff way, “the prostate is a small organ that most men don’t pay nearly enough attention to until it bites them in the ass”.

The truth is that if men live long enough they will all have problems with their prostate. Most men have an enlargement of their prostate as they age (no one is really sure why) and pound for pound the prostate can hold the most toxins in the body. A number of years ago I was at a urology convention and went to a lecture on prostate cancer prevention. I’m usually frustrated at urology conventions because urologists are so focused on the penis and surrounding tissues they often forget to look at the actual person. But this particular lecture was memorable. For preventing prostate cancer most of the advice was what you would expect. Eat well, exercise regularly, get both blood (PSA) and digital (the rubber glove check) tests. The lecture also emphasized the importance of weekly ejaculations. There is a very strong correlation between an increase in prostate cancer and men who don’t ejaculate. It goes back to “keeping those pipes clean” and getting rid of the toxins. I often write prescriptions that say “must masturbate more”. During the urology lecture there was a much older East Indian urologist who commented that he was taught to offer prostate massage (as part of his residency in India) for men with an enlarged prostate. He said he had rarely heard of prostate stimulation mentioned as a possible tool to help with prostate troubles in North America.

I know how much men hate the dreaded “ bend-over-and-cough” prostate exam by their doctors. I can’t imagine my partner willingly letting an elderly urologist massage his prostate.
Fortunately, there is an easier way.

Lelo the Swedish toy company has come up with an outstanding prostate stimulator. It’s called The Hugo, and it’s this slick, black toy that is easily inserted and vibrates directly on the prostate. I’m sure they did lots of design research, as it is the perfect size, shape and intensity to give the prostate an immediate “wow”. Lelo is known for their research. Getting feedback from actual users is what differentiates a great toy company. It is a wonderful toy to help with anal sex (for both men and women). I spoke with a woman who borrowed her husband’s Hugo to help relax herself before anal sex. It is an ass toy and it is easy to insert.
My favourite feature is the separate remote control that comes with the Hugo. That way you can change the settings and speed of the vibrations in your partner’s rectum while having your feet up. The range in surprisingly far. That means you can control the type of stimulation from the other side of the room if necessary. That certainly appeals to any partner’s dominant nature.

There are many men that are curious about prostate stimulation but hesitate. They worry about being clean enough (something women understand) but also stress about it being “unmanly”. There is certainly lots of baggage in the North American culture about ass play and male-receptive penetration. As Charlie Glickman says in his book “ The Ultimate Guide to prostate Pleasure”, “If finding the prostate didn’t involve going up his ass, it probably would not be so much of an issue- it would be viewed as no different from playing with any other part of the male equipment. Especially as prostate massage can be viewed as both stimulating and healthful.”

So if you are concerned about your prostate, want to play with it (or your partner’s prostate) then I encourage you to go for it. The research is fairly conclusive that massaging that walnut shaped gland between your testicles and your anus will help prevent prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) or even prostate cancer. It also might feel particularly good. No matter what knowing about those squishy boy parts is a public service. So next time you are online or at your local sex shop have a look at the Hugo and add it to your wish list. Remember it’s good for you.

Low Libido Syndrome. Why men experience a decrease in desire for sex

The desire to get naked, horizontal and sweaty with our partners (potential partner or just a hand and some time alone) should be something that happens at regular intervals for everyone. Sex is the third most common physical need behind the need to eat and survive, and the need to connect and have a clan. You may not have the desire just after you have run a marathon or have the flu, but for most couples sexual desire and activity bubbles up in our bodies at least once a week.

If you are not feeling the urge to jump your sweetie, and are failing to feel the urge to be physically close it might be time to have a look at what’s going on. If you have a low desire for sex, especially if your relationship is strong and loving you might be suffering from low libido syndrome. I see lots of people who remember the sexy person they used to be. And their partners certainly remember that they used to be interested.

Low sex drive is a common problem and by far the most frequent issue I see as a sex therapist. It can get worse as we age. For women, there is an expression “that libido is never improved with menopause”. Oprah speaks often about low libido on her channel and mentions that “diminished libido impacts close to 30% of the North American population”. We understand that with female cycles, low libido is a significant female problem. The truth is that low libido impacts both genders. Many people have this belief that men want sex all the time. Although I speak to many men who could happily have sex every day, I also see guys who have lost that loving feeling.
Low sex drive or low Libido is present in a lot of men, but very few admit it. In my practice, I see 80% women and 20% men. But I do see a lot of men. This is because they have the opinion that it is not a male issue and that they should be all over the partners daily. Their sexual prowess and virility is directly linked to their confidence as a man. Low Libido in men takes place due to a number of reasons and causes. Some of them are listed below.

male libido
• Depression

Depression is a major psychological issue that can reduce your sex drive, especially if you are on the SSRI anti-depressants. Doctors may not tell you that there are often huge side effects with anxiety and depression medications. Anti-depressants also affect your ability to reach orgasm. The other issue is that depression leads to not feeling great about yourself and the biochemistry of serotonin and dopamine imbalances can leave you in a serious funk. You don’t feel like doing much, including having sex. There also might be something that has happened that is taking up tons of brain space. Work stress is a common cause. I see men with big jobs who find their interest in sex goes down when their work stress goes up. It’s why holiday sex happens more easily and is generally more erotic.

The truth is that you cannot attain the needed level of sexual attraction when your mind is stuck up with other issues.

• Alcohol and Drug Usage

All kinds of addictive substances increase the chances of low libido. Men who have been regular drinkers or drug users are rarely able to provide the needed level of satisfaction to their female partners. Smoking (especially the ones grown under grow lamps and rolled) has a serious negative impact on libido and erections. The warning on the cigarette package that smoking makes you limp is not a myth. If you are smoking dope stopping is a great first step. Get some milk thistle at the health food store and detoxify your liver. Have no more than 7 drinks a week and start thinking about abundant health.

• The low testosterone factor

Low Libido has been linked to the deficiency of testosterone. A number of diseases cause the deficiency of testosterone in the human body, including high blood pressure, cholesterol, obesity and excess of weight, diabetes and a lot of other health problems as well. According to medical research, there is a direct proportionality relationship between diabetes and low testosterone. People who have diabetes are more likely to develop the low testosterone issue. Similarly, people who have low testosterone are more likely to have diabetes in the future stages of their life. Sometimes low testosterone is caused by injury. I’ve seen a number of men who have had a hockey puck to their groin or a soccer ball in the testicles and who have then experienced diminished sex drive and low testosterone. Sometimes when you do blood work there are some men who have low testosterone and have no known reason. But they get what I call “the grumpy old man syndrome”. These guys are quickly turning into their fathers and grandfathers and lose their interest in sex, sports and become couch potatoes. If men are putting on belly fat, fall asleep after dinner and aren’t having the ambition they used to it’s time for a blood test to check the levels of testosterone and free testosterone. Adding testosterone (the best kind looks like hand sanitizer you simply apply to your forearms) can turn these problems around within a month.

• Low Libido can be a relationship issue
When I see men in my office who aren’t interested in sex with their partners I offer up a checklist to determine what might be the reason. Besides the physical issues such as low testosterone, men might be getting their sexual needs met elsewhere (too much porn or visiting the massage parlors etc.) or they might simply not be into their partners. Men think they should be interested in sex no matter what. I believe that men are as emotionally sensitive if not more so than women. If your partner has disappointed you, or you are fighting, then you simply might not be interested in being intimate. And although it might be hard to admit, there might be an attraction issue. As the sex therapist Esther Perel says, “fire needs air”. If you are busy raising kids together and feel like “friends that co-parent” you might need a little mystery put back into the relationship. Read my blog on date nights and spend some time doing the things you did when you first fell in love. The flames of intimacy needs fanning and attention sometimes. Spend some fun, sexy, and intimate alone time with your partner and see what comes up.

• Low Libido has physical as well as psychological reasons

Low libido can be due to physical reasons, psychological reasons or a combination of both as well. As an individual, you need to discover the reasons why you are experiencing a low sex drive. For instance, if you are facing this problem due to psychological reasons like depression, you need to consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist. However, if you do not have any psychological issues and you are suffering from a decreased desire have a look at some other factors including relationship problems, pornography usage, and food choices. If you are facing low sex drive, burying your head in the sand doesn’t help. What I do know about low libido is that it doesn’t magically get better. You may need help to drill down to the actual causes of the problem. By getting proper treatment, you can get that strong love back again. Consider an initial appointment either in person or by skype or phone. Usually I can diagnose the issue quickly and it often can be treated in one or two quick sessions. Send me an email at sue@sexwithsue.com and we can tackle this issue in the next 48 hours. I care, and low libido is my specialty.

Would you rather be balding or have a large penis?

I know it’s crazy to keep reading these surveys, but this one jumped out at me. Apparently, for men, if they had to choose:
• 60% of men would rather have a large penis and be balding
• 40% of men opted for a lush, full head of hair and an average to small penis

• 70% of men say they are satisfied with their hairline and penis size (perhaps the most surprising stat)…
• 44% of men believe their significant others care more about their hair/overall appearance, than their penis size
• 29% of men agree with the statement, “Regardless of my penis size, I would get hair restoration if I needed it, because no one wants to be bald.”

It turns out that both are true. Balding men have higher levels of DHT and DHT which is supposed to increase penis size. There is some truth to the fact that bald men have bigger weenies. Hair loss is caused by testosterone. And higher testosterone in utero can cause an increase in the size of your schlong. It also positively affects the length of your ring finger.

Yep. That manly hormone that makes men who they are, that makes you tough, burly, and, well, manly is ultimately responsible for male pattern baldness. I have a download about increasing your penis size which has all of the options listed at http://www.sexwithsue.com/how-to-increase-your-penis-size/.

From an evolutionary point of view, baldness may actually have evolved as a status symbol, indicating an older, successful, and virile male who is more desirable as a mate than a younger, less mature individual.

And the modern-day translation seems in keeping with this evolution. These days, having no hair on the crown of your head is regarded as sexy by many women.

Premature Ejaculation- 5 NEW things that you may not know that will help you last longer

Premature Ejaculation (PE or those blasted one minute guys) is a very real phenomenon. It is only second to women with low libido as the most common problem I see as a sex therapist. I have written a number of articles over the years about how to last longer (a quick search on this site or a click to order the download will get you up to date) but there seems to be some new information about how to deal with you quick trigger.

1. The Stud 100 spray continues to be popular. Many men paid the $15 and found it doesn’t work. “The trick”, my friend George the sex toy seller says, “is to not use too much. Forget putting any on the head too. Spray a little on the top of the shaft, and a little on the bottom of the shaft, wait 10 minutes and then you’re in business.”

2. Levitra or Cialis may prevent you from ejaculating at all. So does a little codeine (say one Tylenol 1 before sex). Anti-depressants also can stop ejaculation but it can also negatively affect libido and erections.

3. Pressure from a vibrating cock ring. I keep hearing that the We-Vibe is so stimulating when used during intercourse that it speeds up ejaculation. So don’t use that. But a vibrating cock ring against the pressure point at the base of the penis will help prevent ejaculation. Give it a shot and see if it works for you.

4. Ejaculoid – The new semen enhance that can actually increase volume and length of ejaculation. The increased volume actually helps your partner feel the the semen as it travels and squeeze off the tube and encourage the semen to back up. I can explain it if you are looking for more information. send me an email at suem@rogers.com

5. Jelking or the process of using both hands in opposite directions along the shaft of the penis can help if you have a willing partner and clear instruction. I have a BOB in my office that I used as a demo. It still amazes me how little most people understand about their genitals. You can be trained to last longer. It’s especially easier if you have a regular partner that will participate in a few therapy session where i explain it all. And then the fun begins at home. 🙂 And your insurance company covers such instructions. Give me a call and I’ll make sure that you can walk tall the next time you want to go for a marathon love making session.

Jumping your guy for no reason tops the list of men’s daily sexual desires.

Men like spontaneous sex.

Maybe you knew that. Maybe you simply just suspected it.  But in a discussion this week with a number of smart men I asked them what they would really, really like sexually. They all ranked sexual surprises and spontaneous sex first on a list of possible choices. I’m going to transcribe my survey and post it here and you can take the quiz about what you like sexually.

Spring sex out of the blue. Plan a hot night, or just reach over and stimulate him under the table. Initiation, slight sexual aggression, and spontaneous sex blow guys away. It’s a huge ego boost for them and they feel like you can’t keep your hands off them. They feel hot and rank that kind of sex as the most memorable when I ask them “to tell me about the best sex they have ever had.”  For men, touch reinforces your relationship.  Cosmo gives this advice:

“For a spontaneous seduction, ask him to pull over to a deserted spot for a roadside romp when you’re driving home one night. Or at a party, take him into a back bedroom or closet.”

More with the quiz, but in the meantime “what are you waiting for?”  Spontaneous sex brings you closer, helps kick start some hormones and simply blows his little mind.

Why we love bad boys. Why are they so alluring?

I have counseling a few patient lately who seem to be picking the same guy over and over again – with disastrous results. They want a relationship but find themselves weak in the knees around the leather-jacket wearing bad boy. They date the tough guy but want a husband and father. Can you see the disconnect?

These are smart, pretty women with good jobs but are always surprised when the Harley-driving mechanics don’t want to settle down. It goes back to that adage that women marry men hoping to change them, and men marry women hoping they will never change.

So what’s with those bad guys anyway?

What will attract a woman to a bad boy is excitement, daringness, and the promise of adventure.

There is something about brooding, moody guys that women find alluring. Now a new study this spring out of UBC in Vancouver supports the assumption with research.

Women find happy guys significantly less sexually attractive than swaggering or brooding men, according to a new University of British Columbia study that helps to explain the enduring allure of “bad boys” and other iconic gender types. Guys who can display that mischeivious shame (at least knows right from wrong even if they don’t act on it), and smiling comes across as a very “gay or feminine trait”.

Confidence, boldness and masculine is universally what women find attractive.
Bad boys also have the packaging. They emphasize the more testosterone rich parts of themselves and promise great sex, danger and adventure.

So if you keep falling for these guys, and want a more permanent life than pay attention to some of the reasons you keep picking the sweet-but-toxic men.

1.The impulse to perpetuate what’s familiar.
Many women attracted to rogues had a father who was a little wild and rebellious. Because many girls idealize their father, they may seek a partner with similar traits. This usually isn’t a conscious decision; much of the allure happens below the level of awareness. Girls may also choose these boys on the assumption that Dad will be impressed.

2. Can’t “own” your sexuality. Many sensuous women feel that they can “only get swept away in the moment” in order to be the openly sexual. Otherwise to say “I want hot, raunchy sex” means you are a slut.  Having a bad boy lead you down the garden path lets them excuse their own sexual behavior.

3. The drive to rehabilitate or “save” a wayward man.
Simply put, many women are rescuers. It’s a challenge for them to reform an incorrigible man. These women think, Sure, he gets into trouble, but I can change him! Ego is involved as well. It’s inflating when a woman feels like she is the only one who can transform a man.

4. The appetite for adventure.
Other women like the excitement, thrills, and sense of danger bad boys bring. This is especially true for those who have been “good girls” all their lives. Perhaps they grew up in a family that demanded conformity and compliance with rules. So they’re intrigued with men who scoff at rules and shrug off responsibility.

 

 

 

 

 

How watching the Red Wings and other hockey games gets you more sex

 

As a red blooded Canadian girl I understand the appeal of hockey.  In Canada hockey (and Tim Horton’s coffee) is as close as we have to a national religion.There is something about padded guys in hockey jerseys skating around at high speed and winging rubber at each other that gets your heart racing. Fights where a couple of goons go at each other, wild action and big hits are always entertaining to watch. And don’t get me started on the sexy hockey beards…

I’ve long known that if I played my cards right I can usually get sex while watching sports. I written before about the  Monday Night Football half time romp. And my flirty date nights after an evening watching the Sens at Scotiabank Place during those cold winter nights.

But until the new study came out from the University of Michigan, I didn’t have the science of my sports and sex correlation. The University did a great study that involved checking the saliva of men in the stands before and after a Red Wings game to determine their testosterone levels.  (Did  mention that I would be happy to personally check the saliva of the boys in red myself? but I digress…) With no surprise to me watching all of that beef cake win encourages fans to increase their testosterone level by up to 30% – especially of they win. Testosterone is your aggression, sex and brawn type hormone, and will encourage your sweetie to focus on you once the whistle is blown.

Now with the Red Wings going into game 7 against the dreaded Sharks you can’t help but be encouraged about some upcoming “sexy time”. Couple that with some deep fried calamari ( seafood is high in zinc – the sex mineral.and Red Wing fans throw squids on the ice- Yup those large rubbery sea creatures when they score a goal),  and you’ve got a recipe for lov’n.

Go wings go.

Why men need to chill before they can interact. It’s all about the hormones.


I’m reading John Gray’s new book Venus on Fire and Mars on Ice about male and female hormonal changes. Now John Gray is an interesting guy. He is the #1 best selling realtionship therapist in history with his book about the differences between men and women (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus). He has some insights into gender (especially understanding guys) and he credits the latest scientific research for how interaction can impact our physical selves. It’s a very interesting understanding that how we get along increases of decreases or hormones. And if you’ve been reading my blog (www.loveandlipstick.com) you’ll know that it’s ALL about your hormones.

His new book explains why men and women behave the way they do.

The truth is we all need to fill up our hormonal bucket before we can interact with our spouse. Men ave been dealing with the world all day and all they want to do when they come home is turn on Sports Center, ope a beer and zone out. Women have laundry, dishes, dinner and need to conect an talk about our days to unwind. The last thing men want to do is talk about their day.

It turns out tha men need quiet to recharge their main hormone- testosterone. Women on the other hand, need to nurture and be nurtured in order to replenish their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is women’s main “feel better” hormone.

Gray goes onto explain that besides zoning out, men get charged by 1. solving problems. 2. feeling needed. Women on the other hand, feel better when they 1. have a listening ear 2. care and cluck over a loved one.

Which translates into him wanting to solve you problem, and you needed just a a chance to air out how you’re feeling. John Gray makes a good point. He says that when women feel like they aren’t fixing things it bugs them. It is that feeling times ten for men. And if a guy is ignored it stings, but it is that feeling times ten when a women isn’t acknowledged.

Good points and what’s interesting is that how you interact GREATLY impacts your health and physcal self. It’s only been in the last few years that we’ve had the research to say that human interaction WILL affect our bodies. Just like stressed people have heat attacks, men who have sex live longer, and people are able to keep their hormones up (and thus be healthier) if they understand the kind of daily human interaction they need.

Happy Endings. The new comedy or what happens at the end of an Asian rub and tug experience?


I actually want to talk a little about both kinds of Happy Endings. The phrase Happy endings used to invoke thought of fairy tales and “happily ever after”… Now as a sex therapist I think about the “jack shacks” or the new breed of masseuse when I hear it. I had an interview with Pauline from Michelle’s massage in Ottawa recently about her expertise in prostate massage. She claims to have given over 10,000 orgasms. She gives a good massage, and specializes in internal prostate tickles. Check out the 40 minute step-by-step audio at www.sexwithsue.com.

She says she has licensed RMT’s working part time for her, and has a whole group of friendly, knowldegable staff that do 20 minute massages and are booked at the half hour. They aren’t strictly speaking, legal. But if you are licensed with no drugs and use women over 18 the vice department usually looks the other way.

Now ABC has a new comedy with the same name. Happy Endings starring Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame will debut tonight. I wonder if anyone is getting the name mixed up on Google? Here is the new comedy trailer…http://abc.go.com/shows/happy-endings Think of an updated Friends with six buds who hang together and are trying to figure it out. Sound familiar? But I don’t hink they have a Phoebe massage therapist character who offers up the goods.

Sleep apnea- it kills both you and your sex life. It may be why you feel so lousy.


I used to have a very bad case of sleep apnea. Needed naps in the afternoon, woke up gasping, and had earthquake-like snoring that moved my partner to another room for years. I once casued an international incident falling asleep on an air plane. I was that loud.

Sleep apnea is casued when the back of your throat closes over your widpipe and cuts off the oxygen while sleeping. The air going through causes your palate to vibrate loudly. My whole famly had problems with it. I describe the group of us ( my amazing family) as “barrels with legs” who had thick necks and short torsos (now doesn’t that sound attractive…) and small, closed off tracheas . Sleep apnea is a very serious issue, and is the cause of more sleep related deaths, heart attacks, and fatigue issues than most people realize. You also walk around like the a cast member from Dawn of the Dead becasue your body keeps jerking you out of sleep in order to breathe. It can impact marriages (certainly sex lives), and leave sufferers chronically exhausted. It also goes (terrifyingly) on your driving record.

To diagnose apnea you go for a sleep test. You end up looking alot like the guy in the picture. They wire you up with electrodes to determine if you have small breathing pauses during the night. I just finished my third of these tests. I’m trying to download the picture of me covered in wires so you can see how attractive I am as the bride of Frankenstein. You don’t get much sleep. You are in a hospital setting and they have a camera watching you dose and listening to your charming sleep sounds. They wake you up if your mask slips of if one of your wires disconect.

On my first sleep test I was diagnosed with severe apnea. My second test involved what I call “sleeping with the elephant”. This is where they put you on a CPAP machine with as long air tube uses air pressure to force the back of your throat open. I ended up ripping it off in the middle of the night and throwing it across the room. Other people love them and couldn’t imagine how they ever slept without it. They wake up rested and oxygenated for the first time in years. I hated the machine and tried it for over a month with no success. I kept taking it off while I slept. So I opted for the UPPP surgery. This involved tearing out my tonsils, my uvula (the dangly thing at the back of your throat), and a good chunk of the soft palate. This surgery is not for the faint of heart. 6 week recovery, and is considered the most painful surgery there is – far more painful than heart surgery. It was Hell but there was an end in sight. And my apnea was severe enough to need treatment.

However it cured my snoring. My sleep test last night was to see if I have fully recovered and past the test. I’ll have my results next week. In the mentime, if your soring has gotten worse, you have over a 16 inch neck (female) or 17 inch neck (male) and you feel tired – you too may have sleep apnea. It’s much more common than you think and I know of two women in their 30′s PERSONALLY, who have died from it. Besides you can end up with the fetching pictures after you get wired up. Talk to your doctor about a sleep referral.

 

 

 

 

 

NO MORE KIDS!!! Current information on vasectomy, tubal otherwise known as “The big snip”

I had a question about the difference between vasectomy and a tubal ligation on this week’s Love and Lipstick show (Sundays and Monday’s on EZ Rock). Every woman I know has had the Oh-My-God worry when their period was late unexpectedly. And when you already have kids (and have just gone through the craziness of March Break and the thought of more is terrifying) you may be thinking that the current birth control methods may not be cutting the mustard.

When you are looking to eliminate the worry of contraception permanently (get yourself fixed) you have three options:

Tubal (AKA getting your tubes tied)
Vasectomy
Essure

No matter what you choose, you have to assume that the decision is permanent. If you try to get either vasectomy or tubal revered the results are iffy at best, very painful and cost $5000 to $10,000.
Ask yourself the questions of:
1.Are you absolutely sure?
2. Is there other forms of birth control that might work for you?
3. Is this decision mutual?
Many doctors won’t do the procedure if you are under 35, but if you are adamant that this is what you want then find the local specialist in your area. In Ottawa Dr. Ron Weiss has done thousands of non-scapel snips and teaches the procedure. I would always recommend a specialist for your boys.

Here’s what happens in a “no-scalpel” vasectomy, done usually in a doctor’s office or clinic.
A tool called a hemostat punctures a small hole in the scrotum. The vas defrens (the tubes bringing sperm up and out) are teased out and then clipped, blocked or cauterized. In traditional vasectomy a scalpel cuts the scrotum and the same thing is done to the wayward tubes. I am told that a day off, no lifting for 2 weeks, and the medicinal combination of Jack Daniels and a bag of frozen peas on your nuts keeps the swelling down. I am told some of the worse part of the procedure is the shaving the doctor does before he/she starts. Oh, and you can resume crazy sex after 2 weeks but your plumbing needs 15 ejaculations to clear the tube. As a sex therapist some of the downsides I see after a vasectomy is a lowering of libido. The literature is inconclusive, but I see a correlation. So if you are the less horny one in your relationship, you might want to ponder the option more closely.

The tubal is a little more complicated. I had one done 10 years and 150 heavier and my doctor said it was far more difficult on heavier women. However I knew I didn’t want any more children and believe it’s easier to stop one egg a month than 100 million sperm a day. Either the doctor goes through your belly button (In my case though the pelvic wall) and pumps your abdomen full of gas so that your tubes are exposed. A numbing spray on the tubes helps with the after pain (which was significant). The tubes are them cauterized or blocked. I am still very happy with my decision.

Finally, the new procedure called Essure is where two, tiny spring-like coils are inserted into the fallopian tubes through the vagina. With only a day recovery period and no post surgery complications to think about it’s a good option. After 3 months a follow up appointment happens to make sure the coils are in the right place.

Given that there are no perfect methods of birth control, sterilization is as fool-proof as it gets. With an almost non-existent failure rate it’s so much sexier not to be dealing with the hassles of birth control. Smile.

Huge Erotic Art Exhibit with over 200 pieces of nudes, sensuous and sassy art! June 2, 3rd 2017

The idea started because we couldn’t find any galleries that carried classy erotic art for our office. It’s evolved …

School of Sex! Let’s talk about anal sex done with grace, and laugh-out-loud fun

Sunday, April 2, 2017 2:00 PM to 4:30 PM The Rosemount Orange Hall 41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON Our next School …

School of Sex! The Penis. How to pleasure it, make it bigger, last longer, pleasure it, and keep it healthy!

Sunday, February 19, 2017 2:00 PM to 4:30 PM The Rosemount Orange Hall 41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON Although …

School of Sex events! It’s not your parents Sex Ed class. It’s All about the vagina Jan. 29, 2017

School of Sex. Gooey Girl Bits!! The Vagina, vulva, clitoris all explained. Sunday, January 29, 2017 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM The …

Re-ignite you! February 4th, 2017 9-4, Ottawa! Four great speakers!

SPEND THE DAY LEARNING AND REBUILDING WITH GROUND BREAKING AND LIFE CHANGING SPEAKERS ALLOW YOURSELF TO ENJOY A DAY DESIGNED …