Category: QA

My new husband wants prostate stimulation

Hi Sue,

My new husband absolutely loves it when I touch him underneath his testicals. He’s now asking for more and more in that spot. He also wants me to stimulate him anally and touch his prostate. I’ve never done this and I’m a little freaked out by the prospect. Is this normal? Could I hurt him? Where do I start?

A little squeamish

Dear Squeamish,

That’s a great question. Men have even more nerve endings in their rectal area than women. The prostate is the male G Spot and can be the source of intense sexual feelings. Most men find stimulation on the perineum (sometimes called the t’aint) which is the area between the back of the testicals and the anus. Pressure on the outside can really be intense and gentle internal touch can absolutely blow his mind. It doesn’t mean that he’s gay, it very normal to want a trusted partner to help you reach those sensations. Here are the rules about prostate stimulation which I’ve gotten from Pauline- the expert who is responsible for 10,000 prostate orgasms. The whole audio/video package is at my site at www.sexwithsue.com. Anyway, Pauline says:

Keep your nails short and buy a box of rubber gloves.
Use canola oil (the kind from the grocery store as it has the best consistency).
Give him an all over massage first and relax him.
Start playing with his testicals and massaging the perineum.
Put your gloved fingers inside feeling for what feels like a walnut closer to his belly button.
Touch there and use your other hand to stroke his erection.
Continue while watching him, and get ready for his intense orgasm.

If he wants to go further check out the bend over boyfriend package on my sexwithsue.com site.

Do those semen enhancing pills really work? Why do men want to produce large volumes of ejaculate?

Hi Sue,
I am writing to ask about semen enhancement pills. My partner enjoys large amounts of ejaculate and I’m wondering if these pill work or what can I do to increase the volume?

L.

Dear L,

As women we often wonder about what is the big deal about producing loads of ejaculate (cum) when a man finally climaxes. It means more mess down the inside of your leg and it has nothing to do with orgasm- at least ours.

The truth is that an increased amount of semen is great for a few things. Apparently the more fluid men pump out the better their orgasms feel. It improves their fertility, and most guys feel more masculine. What’s interesting is that women start to crave semen if you haven’t had it in awhile. The prostoglandins in male ejaculate help our improve mood, and increase our desire if swallowed or absorbed into the walls of the vagina. The women who’s men produce loads seem to like it.

So how do you improve it?

There are a couple of products that claim to increase the amount by 100-110%. One called Semenex claims to be the best and it’s “all natural”. I looked and looked (in fact sent an email to the company that makes it) asking for an ingredient list. I also looked for non-sales pages of people who tried it. The fact is that there are no studies that support their claims. So I can’t give you a straight answer. And so can’t any of those hyped websites.

What I do know in researching female ejaculate for my book Quivering Jello (see www.sexwithsue.com) is that the more stimulation you have WITHOUT ejaculating the more fluid you can produce. I personally have squirted over a cup and have seen some women gush more than a litre (milk bag). What I know is that for me, it’s like breast feeding. The more I was stimulated, the more fluid I made. Given that the prostate is a male G spot and makes up most of the seminal fluid it stands to reason that if you get turned on but don’t cum over a long period of time (and on a regular basis), when you finally do come you should have volumes to send out. The average amount is 10 cc’s of fluid (named by the band and that of The Loving Spoonful) as an accurate description in the amount of fluid.

If I hear from the pill manufacturers, I’ll write about it here and on my www.lovetalkforum.com site.

How Can I Get My Partner To Talk Dirty To Me In Bed?


Sue,

I find it absolutely the biggest turn on when my partner talks dirty to me. Any suggestions on how I can get her to increase the foul mouth gab during sex?

Eager

Dear Eager,

So you like to hear her describe in that rude and graphic way of hers how she would like to take that big, hunk of hairy manhood and …

You’re not alone. According to both the Janus Report, and The Sex in America Study using explicit language while having sex is popular with over 55 per cent of sexually active adults. In fact there are lots of men who find their partner’s heavy breathing, illicit language and passionate moaning pushes them to intensely powerful orgasms. And women being even more auditory than men (men tend to be more visual) find that a lover who uses the right kind of language can be labeled as a Sex God. Try reading to her before you make love. Start with something romantic and well written, –Lady Chatterly’s Lover comes to mind — and read her the erotic parts. Women tend to prefer more romantic language but good erotica can use four letter words with the best of them. Tell her naughty bedtime stories, encourage her to read them to you, and in a non-threatening way, let her know how much her talking is making you hot. Bring up the subject out of the bedroom, and be careful not to insist on having her provide a “play-by-play” every time you make out. Sometimes you don’t want to work that hard, and women especially find it annoying to have to talk all the way through the best parts when they want to just live in the moment. That said, it’s not too much to ask your partner to meet you in the middle and try her best to whisper naughty nothings into your ear. Amen.

Questions and Answers – Trouble reaching orgasm with new partner

Questions and Answers

I Can’t Reach Orgasm With My New Partner
Sue,

I am 52 and have always been very active sexually with my husband. Recently we separated (my idea – just so you understand I am not pining) and I have a new relationship. For some reason I don’t seem to be able to climax with my new lover. I get very excited very quickly…I just need to start kissing him and I am wet and ready for him. But I can’t reach orgasm. I should tell you I am postmenopausal but on hormone replacement therapy.
Signed Help

Dear Help,

This sounds like a straight mechanical problem. For some reason certain people fit together better, and the position of pubic bone against your clitoris may have been more favorable with your previous partner. This would have caused you to reach orgasm more easily. Often times people who are similar height, and body shape seem to fit together better than people who differ in size and shape. Don’t sweat it however. You may just need a little help until your body figures out how to adapt to this new kind of stimulation.

If you are confident enough with him, try using a small finger-tip vibrator (Lady Calston has a great one at www.ladycalston.com), or a “raspberry,” a ring that goes around the penis with a soft ball on the end that stimulates you during intercourse. Being on top as well, with you controlling the depth of penetration, should also help you find that magical rhythm.

Sue

I Can’t Reach Orgasm With My New Partner

Sue,

I am 52 and have always been very active sexually with my husband. Recently we separated (my idea – just so you understand I am not pining) and I have a new relationship. For some reason I don’t seem to be able to climax with my new lover. I get very excited very quickly…I just need to start kissing him and I am wet and ready for him. But I can’t reach orgasm. I should tell you I am postmenopausal but on hormone replacement therapy.

Signed Help

Dear Help,

This sounds like a straight mechanical problem. For some reason certain people fit together better, and the position of pubic bone against your clitoris may have been more favorable with your previous partner. This would have caused you to reach orgasm more easily. Often times people who are similar height, and body shape seem to fit together better than people who differ in size and shape. Don’t sweat it however. You may just need a little help until your body figures out how to adapt to this new kind of stimulation.

If you are confident enough with him, try using a small finger-tip vibrator (Lady Calston has a great one at www.ladycalston.com), or a “raspberry,” a ring that goes around the penis with a soft ball on the end that stimulates you during intercourse. Being on top as well, with you controlling the depth of penetration, should also help you find that magical rhythm.

Sue

Can You Suggest Some Anal Sex Toys?

Sue,

I really like anal sex with my husband. I think that it is better than regular sex. What kinds of toys can I buy that would go farther in than his cock can?

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

There are a variety of sex toys meant for anal stimulation ranging in size from the petite beginner kit meant for opening up the sphincter weeks before anal penetration is possible, to the huge, honking fist-sized probes that have been packaged for the predominately gay market.

A moderate, slightly larger than penis-sized dildo should be as far as you can go safely, however. Anything too much bigger than a penis runs a real risk of damaging your sphincter muscle and leaves you with all kinds of problems with bowel elimination control (ugh!)

The rectum doesn’t stretch like a vagina, and actually tears much more easily. A puncture of the rectal wall can be very serious, even fatal. People usually get into problems by inserting objects that could break, or using too much anal eze (a product made with novocaine that numbs the whole area so you have much less sensation) where the warning pain is diminished and damage could result.

So, stick to a silicone or latex butt plug, dildo or vibrator. The butt plugs have a large base so that the toy doesn’t go deeper than you want and you have to go fishing (or worse, head to the doctor) to get it out. The good news is that with plenty of lube and a gentle hand you can have lots of anal play with a larger object and add a whole new experience to the anal stimulation you enjoy.

Sue

How Can I Get My Partner To Talk Dirty To Me In Bed?

I find it absolutely the biggest turn on when my partner talks dirty to me. Any suggestions on how I can get her to increase the foul mouth gab during sex?

Eager

Dear Eager,

So you like to hear her describe in that rude and graphic way of hers how she would like to take that big, hunk of hairy manhood and …

You’re not alone. According to both the Janus Report, and The Sex in America Study using explicit language while having sex is popular with over 55 per cent of sexually active adults. In fact there are lots of men who find their partner’s heavy breathing, illicit language and passionate moaning pushes them to intensely powerful orgasms. And women being even more auditory than men (men tend to be more visual) find that a lover who uses the right kind of language can be labeled as a Sex God. Try reading to her before you make love. Start with something romantic and well written, –Lady Chatterly’s Lover comes to mind — and read her the erotic parts. Women tend to prefer more romantic language but good erotica can use four letter words with the best of them. Tell her naughty bedtime stories, encourage her to read them to you, and in a non-threatening way, let her know how much her talking is making you hot. Bring up the subject out of the bedroom, and be careful not to insist on having her provide a “play-by-play” every time you make out. Sometimes you don’t want to work that hard, and women especially find it annoying to have to talk all the way through the best parts when they want to just live in the moment. That said, it’s not too much to ask your partner to meet you in the middle and try her best to whisper naughty nothings into your ear. Amen.

Sue

Huge Erotic Art Exhibit with over 200 pieces of nudes, sensuous and sassy art! June 2, 3rd 2017

The idea started because we couldn’t find any galleries that carried classy erotic art for our office. It’s evolved …

School of Sex! Let’s talk about anal sex done with grace, and laugh-out-loud fun

Sunday, April 2, 2017 2:00 PM to 4:30 PM The Rosemount Orange Hall 41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON Our next School …

School of Sex! The Penis. How to pleasure it, make it bigger, last longer, pleasure it, and keep it healthy!

Sunday, February 19, 2017 2:00 PM to 4:30 PM The Rosemount Orange Hall 41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON Although …

School of Sex events! It’s not your parents Sex Ed class. It’s All about the vagina Jan. 29, 2017

School of Sex. Gooey Girl Bits!! The Vagina, vulva, clitoris all explained. Sunday, January 29, 2017 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM The …

Re-ignite you! February 4th, 2017 9-4, Ottawa! Four great speakers!

SPEND THE DAY LEARNING AND REBUILDING WITH GROUND BREAKING AND LIFE CHANGING SPEAKERS ALLOW YOURSELF TO ENJOY A DAY DESIGNED …