Sex and Relationship issues
So what are the issues that might be impacting your life? As I mentioned, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to therapy. While some issues may be similar, what’s going on in your situation is completely unique to you.
Relationship challenges affect men and women equally. And many long term partnerships or marriages may need a “tune up”. Statistically, (according to The Centre for Marriage and Family Studies) relationships end because of infidelity, lack of time spent together, challenges with extended families, communication challenges and blaming, as well as division of labour, and money. But sex and differing sexual appetites are also a big factor in a significant number of breakups. Learning to be together intimately as a couple is necessary for any relationship to make it.
The most common three issues I see men for are for sexual anxiety, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and sexual addiction.
I have an entire audio training session to solve that “too quick” problem of Premature Ejaculation once and for all. My solution is guaranteed to have you lasting longer, and learning how to climax when you want to. Read more about PE (Premature Ejaculation, those one-minute guys, or the problem of coming too fast) on my detailed page.
Erectile Dysfunction or ED (sometimes known as “not getting it up” or impotence) affects men of all ages. I see men from 18 to my 91-year-old client who is still chasing his wife around the house (but has some plumbing issues). I have all the solutions that actually work. I regularly partner with physicians for alternatives beyond “the little blue pill”. I understand performance anxiety and the stress men face of being hard, staying hard and ejaculating at the right time.
Finally, the issue of sex and porn addiction seems to be more and more prevalent. Called “the crack cocaine of the 21st Century”, porn can be as debilitating as any addiction out there. Anything that affects the pleasure centres of the brain from food to sex can become addictive. Read more here about how to take steps to re-claim your life.
I also see men for low libido, fetishes, infidelity, sexual variety including lifestyle (swinging), keeping it hot questions, marital problems, and finding partners. Additionally, I am an expert on and discuss all performance related issues (lasting longer, staying harder, better orgasms etc.), sexual obsessions, fantasies, preferences, practices, hormonal disorders, erectile dysfunction, sexual addiction, insecurities, retarded ejaculation (difficulty reaching orgasm), or no ejaculations as part of the sexual counseling.
Women on the other hand are prone to issues of low libido (or differing sex drives), trouble reaching orgasm, issues related to infidelity, jealousy, or painful intercourse. I also have written about 300 dating ads and regularly help people find and keep partners.
You need help if you’ve lost that loving feeling. In my experience, libido never magically improves on its own. Over 25% of women struggle with sexual desire, and the issues are more often than not physical in nature. There can regularly be an immediate improvement with help. Oprah stated that “32% of the North American population of women struggle with sexual desire”. Low libido is a HUGE part of my practice and the topic of two of my books. I think that the most effective strategy in treating Low Libido Syndrome is multi-faceted. I treat it with information and action. Steps include a hormonal blood workup, counseling, date night coaching, information on techniques and the habit of sex (something I call your SQ or sex quotient), bio-identical hormones, supplements, and body image work.
The Low Libido Syndrome program begins working within five sessions and is often reimbursable to anyone with work benefits. Anyone with Psychological services (i.e. with the Federal Government and most private sector employers), should be covered for sex counseling and marriage counseling.
Difficulty reaching orgasm or inorgasmia is also a real challenge for many women. A good 10% of women rarely or never reach orgasm and I really feel for them. I pull out all of the stops including the cutting edge “Scream Cream”, new techniques for stimulation, romance items you’ve probably never tried (many of which require batteries), and hormonal balancing. Often there are psychological factors about being relaxed enough to “let go” and finally come.
Painful intercourse (called Dyspareunia) is actually quite serious. It can be caused by a host of physical and psychological factors. Some women have a diagnosis of vaginismus (a painful spasm of the vaginal muscle), or vulvodynia (which is a catch-all phrase for any vulva pain). It hurts and makes penetrative sex near impossible. I work closely with a team of pelvic physiotherapists to come up with a working plan to treat all types of painful intercourse (including the hard-to-treat vestibulitis).
To a lesser amount I work with women (and couples) on issues including fear of sex, BDSM, submission (why 50 Shades of Grey is so appealing), keeping it hot, sex abuse counseling, loneliness, lack of communication, and marriage counseling (how not to strangle your mate) among so many other things.
Any and all orientations are welcome. I’m the therapist in town that happily gets referred clients who are polyamorous, in the Lifestyle, transgendered, or in any kind of unusual living arrangement. Think ethical, open and non-judgmental.
Couples sex counseling and sex therapy courses done in a group setting are also available to couples who want to participate in my workshops. Individual therapy works, but groups can be magic for couples looking for guidance.
So you may have gathered that many individuals see me for more than one issue. You would be right about that. My job is to pull out what’s really going on and address it. As I say to my clients, “my job is to generate options, and it’s your job to implement them”.
While on my site, I also invite you to have a look at the book outlines for The Libido Diet (the book about hormones, weight and sex drive), Quivering Jello (the best-selling book on G Spot orgasms), The Loving Hedonist (how to have crazy, wild out-of-the-box-sex without screwing up your relationship) and Start Me Up (the recently updated book on new, specific ways to increase your sex drive).
I want you to feel the love and have all the information you need to make an informed decision about fixing whatever is going on with you.