My parents met in high school. My grandparents were next door neighbors. 200 years ago you only had people in your village as potential partners. Now the world is your oyster. And there are dating sites that reflect that. In fact there are hundreds of sites with tens of thousands of profiles. Finding a partner can be daunting.
But even with a huge glut of people to choose from so many individuals are still single. I really get it. As a relationship therapist, one of the most common questions I get in my practice is “How and where (in God’s green earth) can I find a partner?” It can be frustrating, time consuming, and as one woman said to me recently “a soul crushing experience”.
It doesn’t have to be. The truth is that there are set skills and insights that can make finding that special someone a lot easier. It starts with identifying what you want out of a partner and where you have had challenges in the past. Are you looking for a kind person who understands you and that you can bring to your office Christmas party? An intelligent person who looks good and likes sex? Do you want a soul mate or magical relationship?
If you’ve not thought about these things in relation to your next partner it may be time. Find your sexy self and where you’ve been stuck in the past. Get beyond the “just friends” mantra or understand why you only seem to be attracted to the “wrong kind of partners”. It’s time to take action.
Therapy can help. It’s usually not a long, drawn-out, talk-about-your-mother kind of process. Usually it’s focused, less than eight visits, and proactive. There is homework each session, and the goal is to figure out what’s holding you back, what kind of baggage you are carrying, and what exactly does a life partner look like for you? It’s a four pronged approach of self-awareness, clarity of what you are looking for, best way to hit a target you can see, and implementing a plan of action. It is also important to figure out how you want to share your life with someone. And then we pull the trigger and make it happen. You commit to the process and I commit to pulling out all of the stops to get you comfortably finding love again.
If your life is missing a partner and you are serious about wanting to find love, try specific, accredited experienced therapy. This is dating coaching plus psychological evaluation and problem solving all in one. And it’s covered under your group health insurance plans. Book an appointment now at firstname.lastname@example.org.