Why men need to chill before they can interact. It’s all about the hormones.
I’m reading John Gray’s new book Venus on Fire and Mars on Ice about male and female hormonal changes. Now John Gray is an interesting guy. He is the #1 best selling realtionship therapist in history with his book about the differences between men and women (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus). He has some insights into gender (especially understanding guys) and he credits the latest scientific research for how interaction can impact our physical selves. It’s a very interesting understanding that how we get along increases of decreases or hormones. And if you’ve been reading my blog (www.loveandlipstick.com) you’ll know that it’s ALL about your hormones.
His new book explains why men and women behave the way they do.
The truth is we all need to fill up our hormonal bucket before we can interact with our spouse. Men ave been dealing with the world all day and all they want to do when they come home is turn on Sports Center, ope a beer and zone out. Women have laundry, dishes, dinner and need to conect an talk about our days to unwind. The last thing men want to do is talk about their day.
It turns out tha men need quiet to recharge their main hormone- testosterone. Women on the other hand, need to nurture and be nurtured in order to replenish their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is women’s main “feel better” hormone.
Gray goes onto explain that besides zoning out, men get charged by 1. solving problems. 2. feeling needed. Women on the other hand, feel better when they 1. have a listening ear 2. care and cluck over a loved one.
Which translates into him wanting to solve you problem, and you needed just a a chance to air out how you’re feeling. John Gray makes a good point. He says that when women feel like they aren’t fixing things it bugs them. It is that feeling times ten for men. And if a guy is ignored it stings, but it is that feeling times ten when a women isn’t acknowledged.
Good points and what’s interesting is that how you interact GREATLY impacts your health and physcal self. It’s only been in the last few years that we’ve had the research to say that human interaction WILL affect our bodies. Just like stressed people have heat attacks, men who have sex live longer, and people are able to keep their hormones up (and thus be healthier) if they understand the kind of daily human interaction they need.