The Rant of a Sex Therapist

Forget The March of the Penguins, sex therapists ( at least me and the ones I know), aren’t  serene, or that accepting of the status quo.  We tend to question everything, so I thought a rant section might be in order.

I tried hard to post yesterday but had to clear the 21 spywear virus stuff off my system (%$^!!@$%) What a hassle!  Today I feel like advocating the death penalty for computer virus inventors.  I just want to be a good person, check my e-mail (don’t even get me started on the hundreds of spam I get daily), write my cool new blog,  and can’t because I have to deal with crashing computers.

I wanted to talk about the guest I had Saturday night on the Love and Romance Show, my crazy full-moon Saturday night sex talk show on cfrb ( I spoke with Deborah Anapol, the author of the seven laws of love (, and Love without Limits.  She talked about how we may be evolving away from monogamy and headed towards more polyamourous (loving more than one person) love affairs.  This is swinging beyond the free love stuff you  heard about in the 60’s.  Having been a few  times to the swing clubs both in Ottawa and Toronto (a topic for another blog), I’m hear to say, they are becoming more and more mainstream.  This is like that chick at the Oscar’s thanking both her husband and wife – just like the infamous Nina Hartley. I’ve spoken to two people, not patients, but when everyone tells you about their sex lives you hear a few interesting things….who are in these kinds of mutliple partner relationships.  Most I spoke to met on, (interesting site, with a nice group of guys running it), the website for the already attached who are looking for love.  In one case, the woman and her husband meet their individual  lovers on  Tueday night, and then come home and tell each other how their evenings go. Everything is all open and they all know about each other. The quote I heard about why they wanted this, was "that she had more love to give than to just one person.

I have to admit I’m fascinated by it. Regular sex and intimacy, without the sneaking around of infidelity, all the while maintaining your marriage. Maybe they are onto something????  I would welcome your comments, but haven’t yet figured out how to add those to my blog.  You can always e-mail me at, and I’ll post them.  I’m going to post the audio interview with Doborah as a podcast as soon as I figure out how to attach it.   Blondes working technology, it just takes me longer….

Feeling the Love.  Sue

we know what you are doing in the shower

March 18, 2006

I had a conversation last night with a friend, and like most female conversations it didn’t take too long before it turned to kids, sex, and men. (the other popular topics include birthing stories, chocolate, spirituality and shoes…).  Anyway, she was telling me how her now teenage stepson is spending all of his time in the bathroom and using up all of the hot water.  I told her that it was normal and teenage boys masturbate at least once a day, usually in the shower.  She was floored that she hadn’t realized that was what he was doing, and no wonder her hot water bills were so high.

Isn’t that what all guys do in the shower?  I talk to people about sex all day long, every day and men masturbate regularly, and yes, especially in the shower.  The good news is that it’s good for you.  When I started as a sex therapist I used to espouse that sex felt good, was critical for your relationship, but now I tell people, it’s imperative for your health.  It’s at least as good for you as exercise (those 350-500 calorie boff’s), and forget an apple a day, it’s an orgasm a day.  For guys it keeps the pipes clean, scoures out the prostate and keeps your sperm fresh and your blood pressure healthy.  For women who masturbate, it keeps the vagina clean and just like a sneeze cleans out the sinus cavity, an orgasm cleans the snatch out of all those viruses, bacteria, and old sperm remnants. Women who give into the urge to play with themselves are 80% less likely to get a vaginal infection.  80%!!!!! Why aren’t there bus ads telling women this?  It’s like the girls who sit in the hot tub, (3rd spigot on the left shoots just the right way….), men in the shower are just emptying out the junk.  Even if it does increase the hydro bill.


Green protruding things

Happy St. Paddy’s Day         More sexy conversations…

Well as I figure out blogging (as I silmultaneously work on the podcasting), I’m trying to post interesting and useful stuff a la the Scobel and Isreal book Naked Conversations. (my podcast had the sexy conversations title before I found the book guys) I’ve never been cool but I’m trying, and after some green beer this afternoon, I thought I should post on the good, the bad and the ugly of green things during sex.

I had a few thoughts about green protruding things. Whether it be cheap satin underwear that turned my vulva from my favourite shade of GM sportscar pink (I can’t wait to be old, swear alot and drive a vulva-pink sportscar, but I digress) to an awful shade of green, I realized that green isn’t a color you want associated with your protruding parts.

I often talk on air about how relatively safe oral sex is.  Hey, even in Health Canada’s latest (Jan. 2006) publication on the state of the AIDS infections in Canada couldn’t state that AIDS is transmitted orally.  Unless you’ve just had teeth pulled, and have gaping, oozing sores in your mouth (and then the thought of fellatio at that time seems incredibly unpalatable), oral sex is, all things considered, a safer sexual activity.  That is, unless you have Green, foamy stuff coming out of your genitalia. That’s usually the clap or the gon…, which burns when you pee and smells something fierce. I remember the first time someone came into the birth control clinic with a raging infection (kind of like when someone forgets a tampon inside) it is the most putrid smell imaginable…Now I’m being gross, but it’s my important safety tip of the day. Don’t go down on anyone with green stuff because you can get the STI (sexually transmitted infection) in your throat. oowwww.

I can’t think of anything else that’s sexy green unless you caount my sparkly, open-toed shoes I got to match a hideous bridesmaid dress once. My foot fetish patient got all turned on in my clinic when I tried to have his appointment wearing them… Live and learn.

So I guess kermit was right.  It’s not easy being green.  At least not in the bedroom.

A demain.  Sue

This is my blog!!!

I’m starting to blog, but can’t figure this out yet!!! Why aren’t my first blogs posting?  How can I read someone else’s blogs? I’ve got interesting content but why isn’t it showing up!!!!

In the meantime, play this little quiz, and I’ll work hard to keep up.


Questions for the battle of the sexes

Male Questions:

1. Which of the is the most common method of birth control in Canada


A) the pill

B) the condom

C) sterilization otherwise known as the snip

2. What is the #1 most common female sexual problem

A) Low sex drive, or “not this month honey I’ve got a headache

B) Difficulty reaching orgasm or “are you done yet?”

C) Sexual pain or get that thing away from me!

3. According the Durex Sex Survey a majority of Canadian
women prefered making love in

A) The shower

B) The bed

C) The great outdoors

Female Questions:

1. What is the average penis size in Canada, is it

A) 5 inches

B) 6 inches

C) 7 inches

2. What is the most common male sexual problem is it:

A) erection problems or where’s the Viagra?

B) Premature ejaculation otherwise known as the 1 minute man

C)  Or moody hormonal imbalances

3. According to the Durex Sex Survey, most Canadian men make love

A) between 7 and 8 AM

B) between 10:30 and 11 PM

C) Saturday night after 8 PM between periods of hockey night in Canada

Cheeky tomato blog

Welcome to my blog!  Being 14 years in radio, I’m all about the audio, and I’m trying to podcast, but wanted to get started with some literate, great information about smut.  God, I love technology.  Can you be a geek that talks about sex?  I’m a sex therapist, with some crazy ideas about solving sexual problems.  My particular expertise is that I can solve sex problems, quickly, with humor, and in the nicest possible way. Check out my site, and I figure out how to change, update and create a new content and talk to people about things I found so fascinating.  Sex, it’s so interesting.   I want to talk to people about the kind of ses they are hearing, and answer questions that I’m getting on my website.
It’s a start, and I’m blogging….