Category: being hot, and other sexy things

School of Sex. Nipple stimulation, anal sex and chocolate bunt cake! Be informed

It’s time for a School of Sex!

Our survey results mentioned Anal play as a topic of interest, and there are some new toys, and techniques around nipple and breast stimulation that needs addressing. We want to add some bunt cake to the mix (that’s the cake with a hole in it) along with a chance to meet, mingle and make new friends!

We will cover the 14 misconceptions about anal sex, and why 46% of Canadians want some kind of rear end play. The afternoon will also cover prostate massage, pegging, and the latest in butt toys. And if that’s not enough, we will outline a program of breast stimulation that the latest literature suggests actually works to improve size, and firmness of breast tissues. A fun activity to try with a friend (or friends!)

We will have a try-this-at-home play set of nipple clamps, and a game that involves “headlights”.

We think everyone can get better in bed. Even with over 25 years as a Sex Therapist there are always new things to learn. Be great in bed and up your sex IQ.

It’s discreet (you can wear a fake name and sit at the back of the room), funny, incredibly informative and interactive. And a number of our Duckling couples have met at School of Sex mingles. So it’s a great way to make connections. Come out on a Sunday afternoon and learn about bottom and breast play. And eat chocolate cake in funny shapes.

Cost is $30 (cash at the door) or by paypal below. You can also send an etransfer to bdspratt@gmailcom. Check out the site at
It runs 3-5:30 on Sunday, Feb 17th at the Rosemount Orange Hall.

Boudoir shoot! Couples, Men (dude-oir) & women. With makeup, wine, and food.

Sunday, Nov 4th from 11 am to 6 pm. Choose a time that works! Food, wine, professional makeup (for those without testicles) , amazing photographs, lingerie, party atmosphere (but private photo time) and a chance to find your sexy selves! It’s part of the body image series.

Boudoir Photography and party with champagne, great food, friends, chocolate and sexy pictures!

We love doing boudoir. It’s becomes magical. Women feeling beautiful, empowered and the guys are happy to have something erotic and personal. Anyone who has done them raves about them. We get top, professional makeup application and the amazing Duckling photographer Brian Kiloran and (and his lovely wife G). By turning it into a party (with economies of scale) we can do the event for $150 per person or couple. So you can have together and alone for the same price. What a deal! We’ve had a number of photographers over the years but Brian’s pictures really stand out.Read the testimonials

Look back on yourself when you are 80 and see how hot you really were! Do it for yourself, to torment the guys who might possibly see them with your beauty or give it as a for-his-eyes-only gift. Sexy couple photos are also welcome if you would prefer to do them together.

Mimosa’s, (champagne and orange juice) chocolate, and the sexiest photos you can imagine! It’s safe, discreet, private, and super fun! Women or couples, it’s sensuous (but safe), erotic and fun. Participants can wear whatever they would like (bring it with you) and you have time for one change of outfits. You have a private area for photo’s and it’s all relaxed and discreet. Professional makeup artist will be there to transform you. You need to have your own hair done when you arrive. It all happens on Sunday, Nov 4th (and everyone is in town for the Halloween party) at 81 Pooler Ave.
So pictures, food, and community!

Bring something yummy to share and I’ll make up pitchers of our trademarked sangria and mimosa’s. We have limited room for photos so it is a first come first serve. Cost is $150 (either alone or together) which includes makeup, photo shoot, and two photographs. You may purchase the library of other shots (the ones where you aren’t blinking) directly from the photographer. They have different packages or just stick with the few amazing ones you are guaranteed. Given that there are upfront expenses, you need to pay in advance here, or commit to paying in cash and NOT BAILING! Given that we have to pay to the photographer and makeup, we need 10 days notice to cancel once you commit or you will be billed for missing the event.

Buy now!

It turns out it isn’t getting rich (or being skinnier) that makes you happy.

It’s sleep and sex that rate as things that make you feel the most content.

Although preferably not together.

A study has found that sex and sleep are the two things that have the strongest association with a person’s wellbeing.

The index, developed by researchers Oxford Economics, found that quadrupling your income causes very little increase to your happiness, while spending time in the bedroom is a lot more significant.
Polling carried out by the National Centre for Social Research, found that the most rested people score 15 points higher on the index than those who struggled with their sleep.

People who are deeply dissatisfied with their sex lives score seven points lower on average than those who say they were very satisfied. Satisfaction improved with sex twice a week, and over eight hours of sleep.

The result was the creation of the Sainsbury’s Living Well Index, which generated a list of the top factors that separated the happiest 20 percent from everyone else. In order of biggest influence, sleep quality, sex life, job security, health of close relatives and chatting to neighbors in other words community) that rounded out the top 5. Daily walks also made the list.

Every study done in the last 20 years talk about how great sex improves your mood and your health. After a few nights of bad sleep everyone knows how big a factor rest is on physical and mental health. However the fact that money doesn’t rank at the top of the list might might be surprising. Researchers found that those who had good sleep and a sex life they were satisfied with had higher “living well” scores than those people with a high income.

Interesting new sex study has just been published. It’s not our age but the age that we feel that determines our sexual satisfaction

Your sex life is only as old as you feel
Tuesday, may 30, 2017
The closer you feel to your actual age, the less likely you are to be satisfied with your sex life, a University of Waterloo study has found.

The study looked at the attitudes of sex and aging of a group of 1170 adults from their mid-40s to their mid-70s over a 10-year period.

The group, which included people of diverse sexual orientation, reported that the closer people felt to their chronological age, the lower the quality of their sex life.

“What was clear from the data is that feeling younger had a huge impact on how people felt about the quality of their sex life and how interested they were in having sex,” said Steven Mock, an associate professor in Recreation and Leisure Studies at Waterloo. “For people in mid to later life, feeling young at heart actually appears to make a difference in the bedroom.”

The research drew upon data collected in the Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) study in the between 1995 and 2005. The MIDUS study is a national longitudinal study of health and wellbeing in the United States and measures the physical and mental health of participants over a period of decades.

“It’s important to consider all of the different psychosocial and biological factors that might influence a person’s sexuality,” said Amy Estill, who led the research while completing her Master’s degree at Waterloo. “While feeling younger didn’t have an impact on how much sex people were having, it was quite clear that feeling older does impact the quality of the sex you’re having,”

The study was recently published in the Journal of Sex Research.

Huge Erotic Art Exhibit with over 200 pieces of nudes, sensuous and sassy art! September 29, 30th 2017

The idea started because we couldn’t find any galleries that carried classy erotic art for our office. It’s evolved to be the perfect date night activity. A Friday/Saturday pop-up erotic art exhibit with over 200 pieces of art. Wine bar, chocolate samples, music, and a chance to get your picture taken as a couple. Most of the artists will be in attendance and you can appreciate the human form portrayed by the best visual artists around.Tell your friends and co-workers to come see the art. There has never been so many pieces of erotic art in one place in the city’s history. It will be a perfect date night and girl’s night out.

For Ducklings there will be a private VIP section with nude art models along with a chance to paint them on the Saturday evening. Really. There will be body painting, learn-how-to-draw nudes (with a bunch of models), chocolate, an erotic food tasting off a naked body, body part casting, an “ass-print collage” and so much more! Anyone can come to the art show but after 7 pm on Saturday night you have to be a Duckling to attend!

The schedule includes a live body casting of strategic squishy parts. A “feel and identify” human sculptures, a body painting of nude models, an artist teaching how to draw nude models in different mediums, erotic edibles (eating off a naked body), music and food. It’s going to be unique and we’ve been planning this for months.

The art show runs Friday evening along with Saturday afternoon 2 to 7 pm if you can’t make it Saturday night and just want to see the art. It’s a great date night with food and drinks available. Then we will dance like nobody is watching, drink beverages, and use a variety of different mediums to create our own erotic masterpieces.

We will create a collective Duckling portrait and eat foods that double as aphrodisiacs.

We have been working on this event for close to a year!

We event have our own website and facebook page! See the gorgeous website here

Get your Saturday (7-11 pm) Duckling-only VIP tickets below!.

Friday September 29, 2017 – 6 pm to 9 pm $10 admission and everyone is welcome.

Saturday, September 30, 2017 – 2 pm to 7 pm $10 admission all are welcome

Saturday 7 pm to 11 pm VIP Party – body painting, paint night, chocolate fondue dance party plus meet some of the artists!
(must be a paid Duckling member to attend – membership can be purchased at the event or online here)

Collabspace – 70 Bongard Ave

$10 at the door (cash only) for the public events Friday evening and Saturday afternoon
$25 online (coming soon) or at the door for the VIP event Saturday night
(includes entrance to the art show)

Email us at

Presented to you by Sex With Sue and We are the Ducklings $30

School of Sex events! It’s not your parents Sex Ed class. It’s All about the vagina Jan. 29, 2017

School of Sex. Gooey Girl Bits!! The Vagina, vulva, clitoris all explained.

Sunday, January 29, 2017
2:00 PM to 5:00 PM
The Rosemount Orange Hall
41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON

Everything you wanted to know about the Vajayjay but didn’t know who to talk ask. The next in the series of School of Sex is the female genitalia. Or how to stimulate, tease, understand and amplify the pleasure of the female genitalia. Get information about the erotic, the medical, and the sex therapist point of views. Great instructors to find out what’s current in the part of women’s bodies that everyone wants to know more about. Really understand your anatomy or the anatomy of any women in your life. Discover new ways women can reach orgasm. Especially if orgasms are difficult. G spots, u spots, X spots and the like. Get the inside track of new organic products that lube you up, make you taste wonderful and keep your girl bits all dry and smelling nice.

Yoni massage (the tantra word for vulva) will be covered and you can learn how to stimulate all of the nerve endings both inside and out with one of the city’s best erotic masseuses. Learn about the different clit pumps, the scream cream, and acupressure points that can trigger female orgasm.

Finally test out the brand new $1000 infrared internal wand that tightens and helps diminish vaginal pain.

If you are a friend to the vagina, vulva or clit this is going to be an interesting workshop. We will have some vendors at this event (there are so many new, cool things to showcase), the usual snacks and a chance to really understand how amazing female genitalia really is. And like all Duckling events it is fun, social, warm, and inclusive.
Educational, fun and with the essential life experience that everyone who has a vagina, wishes they did, or regularly wants to play with one needs to know about.

$30 including refreshments. This is an open event so everyone is welcome. Bring a friend and find out all about the Ducklings and our School of Sex series. Discounts for the next six School of Sexes and therapy receipts are also available. Click here to find out more and sign up!

You can pay at the door but there are maximums that the room holds so purchasing in advance is strongly encouraged.

New research shows selfless people have more sex

selfless3So that hot bed of sex research North Bay, Ontario (smile) came out with a great new study this month talking about how kind people get more sex. It’s long been proven that lovers who put their partners first get way, way more sex than those who take care of their own needs first. But now the research out of Nippising University shows that donating blood, giving generously to charity, helping little old ladies cross the street, and being an all round nice person makes you more sexually attractive.
Dr.Steven Arnocky, one of the the studies authors said

“We’ve provided the first empirical evidence that altruism may tangibly benefit mating in humans living in Western industrialized society. It appears that altruism evolved in our species, in part, because it serves as a signal of other underlying desirable qualities, which helps individuals reproduce.”

Previous studies showed that if you add altruism to a man, women find him more attractive. Dr. Arnocky’s study shows how this can translate into the very tangible benefits of more sex. Women especially find men that give back really sexy.

The findings support previous research that focused on food sharing by hunters among non-kin as a form of altruism, which show that men who hunt – and share – meat enjoy greater reproductive success. As well, research has previously shown that individuals report preferring altruistic mates, all else being equal.
The study also found that altruism seems to work more effectively for men in terms of attracting a partner. Altruism, it seems, is a powerful attractant for females, which is obviously good news for nice guys as well as local charities.
One question that remains is: are people more altruistic because they are having sex? Or, are they having more sex because they are altruistic?

I think that the adage that kindness and manners matter and that mean people are profoundly unattractive crops up in all aspects of relationships. This study is a good reminder that it is not what you look like but who you are that attracts a partner of quality.


Why adults are still craving intimacy and the desire to stay sexy into middle age.

We as Canadians have always prided ourselves on our ability to be flexible, inclusive and to be open to both new ideas and changing times. Never has this been more necessary than in recent years. With households (often blended) requiring two working parents with irregular work schedules, kids in all sorts of programs often requiring travel –think hockey families- and more opportunity than ever to have spare time consumed in new and exciting ways, it is not a surprise that intimate time is at a premium and that the same old time spent between the sheets isn’t enough to capture our attention. Simply put, we as a nation are craving more interesting ways to spark our relationships. We are questioning whether the intimacy that the previous generations shared will see us through. The fifty plus percent divorce rate suggests not.

So if one or both partners in a relationship draw this conclusion, what is the next step? We (my husband Blaik and I) tested a theory during 2015 and were blown away by the results. It was kind of a “if we build it, will they come?” sort of thing. We set out to build a sassy and flirty club for couples and singles along the lines of monogamish. Monogamish is a relatively new term for couples who want to expand their sexuality and intimacy in a safe and fun way that allows for shifting into that “outside your comfort zone” area while maintaining the integrity of the relationship. Think being allowed to flirt with other people, perhaps visit a nude beach with a gaggle of like-minded friends or attend a sexy dance where you may enjoy multiple dance partners all with the approval of your primary partner.

We created a meet up group, sent out a newsletter, organized a few events and stepped back. Boom! 1500 people signed up in the first 9 months. We outgrew venue after venue. We added more events and they sold out. The club grows by 5 people per day. It is astounding the number of adults who want to be seen as sexy by their peers. And it goes without saying that they would rather do this with their partner’s involvement than behind their partner’s backs. We discovered that if you provide an outlet for couples to express the sexiness together in a manner safe to the relationship, they are all in. Their intimacy as a couple grew substantially as they remembered just how attractive their own partner was and could be.

Our experiment had other interesting spin-offs. As the community grew, volunteers came forward to both help out with the workload and offer their personal expertise. In other words, it was developing a life of its own. It has become a large part of many people’s lives and has become their social network. It has sparked relationships and people sign up for events months away because it gives them something to connect over and talk about.

The experiment needed a name and the club became “The Ducklings”. The website ( was launched and more events are being posted each week. If you are interested in seeing the results of an experiment devised last March, you are invited to join the group and attend the January James Bond Casino night and dance. Laughter, hot costumes, sex appeal, and great fun from a bunch of regular Ottawa couples who simply understand that if you aren’t using that inner sexiness then you are losing it. And if you are using it, your own relationship becomes that much hotter which promotes deeper intimacy. These days, we all can use some of that.


Casino Royale with the Ducklings! Dress as your favorite Bond character!

Update! While this event has passed (and it was epic) we hold three events a week. Come be a Duckling!
We are a group of people trying not to turn into their parents, have fun, and stay sexy. We also have built a community of safe, kind, fun friends. Come join us!

Shaken not stirred.
We are having a Casino Royale style party in January to pretend we are all out of a Bond movie. We will get dressed up, play blackjack and roulette (with monopoly money), win prizes and drink sophisticated drinks, and dance like crazy fools (as Ducklings like to do) all while pretending to have gadgets on our watches. Save the January 23rd, 2016 date. We sorting out a special Duckling martini with Lutz, the Duckling bartender! The location is just east of Parkdale between Gladstone and Wellington.

Where else do you get to wear long gowns and gloves (with nothing underneath) or pretend you are the villain Jaws and show off your silver teeth. You can always dig up the tuxes if you have them and be the best dressed guy in the room.

It should be a blast! A great way to work out the winter blahs. This is a 3.5 duck event. Tickets will be $20 each and available on the site at We will sell out and you NEED TO BUY YOUR TICKET! RSVP’ing yes isn’t enough. Website, Email transfer (and in a few pre-arranged cases you can pay at the door).

8 tips for spicing things up!

spicing1Tips to keep things hot
It’s the #1 question I get from women over 30. I get constantly asked how to spice up relationships without stepping on landmines. For many people, the thought of having repetitive identical sex with the same partner for the next 30 years causes a decrease in libido, and has couples feeling shut down. I do a workshop with my husband we call “The Loving Hedonist”. It’s all about what’s new in sex. The seminars cover topics such as stepping out of your comfort zone, learning what really turns you on and how express your fantasies and desires safely. More importantly, it’s about understanding that adding creativity in the bedroom is one of the top three things you can do to stem off your chance of becoming one of the 51% of Canadians that divorce. The other two involve communication without stonewalling or contempt, and enhancing bonds of friendship and similar interests.

But what can you do today to spice up your intimacy?

Here is a list of eight suggestions that really work. Pick one and try it this week. Your relationship needs that kind of thought and effort.
1. Have an affair with your partner. Find a motel or hotel that charges by the half day. (Even if they are the kind where you have to pack your own towels) and set up the rendezvous. Or surprise your partner with a lunch date where you can fit in a nooner. Spontaneous sex and different locations are what most people list as memorable when I ask them about the best sex of their lives.

2. Boudoir pictures. Most people (especially men) are stimulated visually. Well done erotic photos pack a huge punch. Either hire a photographer (there are even boudoir groupons) or get a friend to take your photos. Forget the selfies, they never seem to turn out.

3. Have an imaginary threesome. Here are the rules. Sometimes called “monogamish”. Each of you picks out an anonymous person. Someone famous or maybe a server at the restaurant you frequent, but nobody you know well. Discuss together in bed what would happen if the three of you were to get together sexually. Next time select a different person.

4. Go through one of the online toy sites together. I like but Amazon has some cheap toys too, as they are both easy to navigate. Find something you both like and order it. The fun can be in the deferred gratification of waiting for the plain, brown package to arrive.

5. Act out a movie scene. Pick a movie that gets your juices racing. 50 Shades of Grey, 9 and ½ weeks or even Pride and Prejudice. Whatever works. You may start giggling but knowing what you like and taking a risk with your sweetie can make it very sexy.

6. Compete with your partner. Pitting yourself against your sweetie can boost your serotonin, attraction and chemistry. Your brain interprets that rush of adrenaline during games as connection to your partner. Anything that boosts your adrenaline bonds you as a couple. I like to suggest crazy things like bungee jumping, whitewater rafting, or sports bets. Even board games work. You can alter a basic jenga game to have blocks that read things like “kiss your partner on an interesting part of their body…”.

7. Try some light bondage. Use a simple cloth tie or try a pillowcase to immobilize them. Have your partner put their arms behind their back in an empty pillowcase and then lie back on the bed. Their body weight will hold their arms in place and allow them easy escape if desired while you touch them all over. If that doesn’t work I have a suggestion for cheap rope tricks that might get their attention.

8. I think those dollar store plastic drop sheets or shower curtains should be in everyone’s toy box. They keep your bed sheets protected while you cover your partner in oil, chocolate sauce, or whipped cream. Use your partner’s body as a base to make a sundae (or any other kind of dessert) as a treat. Then eat the treat without the use of hands.

Consider coming to one of my weekend or four week courses. Investing in your relationship and your sex life pays the best dividends. Check out the Duckling page for activities.

What is sexually normal?

You can be in a crowded restaurant outlining your average day as a sex therapist when you casually mention the word orgasm, or erection in the context of a clinical discussion, all of a sudden, conversation around you stops and everybody strains to hear more of your sexual talk.  It’s human nature, everyone wants to know if their neighbor, co-worker, or friends are doing it better, hotter, or getting more than they are.


As a therapist I am constantly asked to gauge whether someone’s sexual behaviour falls in the realm of what society dictates is normal.  Most people fall into statistical averages with what’s going on between the sheets, in the car, or on the Mexican tile covering the kitchen floor.  The average Canadian has sex twice a week, except for Newfoundlanders who copulate more frequently and engage in a lot of what’s known as “whitebread” or straight missionary position sex.

Even if people appear to be engaging in some of the weirder aspects of sex that everybody wants to know about who  am I to judge anyway?  Besides you can’t judge a book by its cover, often it’s not the people wearing the chains and black leather that are participating in the more extreme and alternative lifestyles, it’s the girl next door and the distinguished gentleman in the three piece suit.


In Anne Rice’s book Exit to Eden there is a quote which graces the back of my agenda. ”…It’s that nobody has ever been able to convince me that anything sexual between consenting individuals is wrong.  I mean it’s like part of my brain is missing.  Nothing disgusts me.  It all seems innocent, to do with profound sensations, and when people tell me they are offended by things, I just don’t know what they mean.”


I asked her in an interview on a book signing tour at the Chateau Laurier if she had ever been “slammed” for her erotic writing or her open attitudes in expressing such sentiments.  She said “she hadn’t been spared criticism, but personally she had been married and monogamous for decades, and that it was like part of her brain was missing when judging others, and besides, look at how interesting it all is.


Consensual sex by its definition, needs two interested and informed parties.  Sex should never be boring, what’s normal depends on who you’re talking to. I think there are so many people who beat themselves up because they think a lot about sex.  So many people think there is something off simply because they want to try something a little out of the mainstream. I say “if it’s safe and consensual, and you can find a willing partner, knock yourself out”.  The truth is that everyone, and I mean everyone has something private about their sexuality that they think ever so slightly off. It also means that there is no “one size fits all”.  Be gentle with yourself. As the singer Jewel says, “if you could tell the world one thing is that we are all okay.”

Top new ways to keep your relationship “hot”

hot1The Everyone wants to know that they and their partner have an enviable intimate life. At least that you are having better sex than your friends so you can brag about it. If you’ve been in a relationship for a number of years you know that your intimate time can go from “can’t keep your hands off each other” to “hallway sex.” That’s where you pass each other in the hallway and ask “was it good for you?”

I’ve long been preaching out the need to schedule three hours a week for connected, sensuous time for your marriage. study out of the University of California at Berkley suggest that if you can’t give your relationship three uninterrupted hours a week, then it is your marriage that’s on its way to becoming a statistic.
I think it’s more than three hours doing the horizontal mambo with the door locked. I think its trying out creative suggestions to stay connected. That includes playing games, getting your adrenaline up, or a little friendly competition. This means bridge nights with your neighbors, or a game of trivia at the local bar. By competing on the same team, you’ll also improve communication and cooperation, the two behavioral foundations of sexual success.

Secondly, reminding your partner of a time when your sex life was hot and connected. The brain’s internal archivist responds best to strong contextual cues-smells, environments, music, textures, even certain foods-so orient out long-term memories into another night of passion.

Ask what your partner likes in an anonymous way. I love the website It asks you what turns you on and then sends the list to your partner in a discreet email.

Finally, all over touch. Plan in some cuddle time. I know it sounds simple but it’s huge for releasing oxytocin (see above). Physical contact(cuddling!) and muscle massage both unleash oxytocin and relax both partners. I do an exercise of daily, non-genital touch that is one of my most successful shifting exercises in therapy. I have a list of all the new ideas (everything from painting toes to the best places to park). Get in touch with me at and I’ll email you the updated list.