I’ve been writing the article about the most common male and female sexual fantasies for the new Couples Workshop we are doing this spring. We had a great time brainstorming about possible fantasies with the group last week. Police office and co-workers topped the list. Just saying.
I used to use the phone sex list of most popular topics as the list. If you were going to make a call, pay for it, and have someone act it out it seemed to be a good example of a deep seated fantasy. Things like anal, light S & M bondage two women, and girls with strap-ons seemed ever popular. However phone sex is rapidly becoming extinct with all the free porn on the web. So I trolled a long-time and have come up with the list from the web of the most popular male and female sexual fantasies. If you have any you want to ad, please make a comment below.
So what are the most common fantasies?
Female Sexual Fantasies
In a survey of dozens of academic research articles on sexual fantasy, psychologists Harold Leitenberg and Kris Henning found the following themes among the top sexual fantasies:
Sexual fantasies are a normal, healthy, and necessary part of our sexuality.
Although fantasies are often kept locked in our memories, studies have found that women have recurrent sexual fantasies that are common among them.
Whether they are based on past experiences or totally imaginary, sexual fantasies are prevalent among all, regardless of how people feel about them. Here are the Top 10 fantasies women have:
10. Sex With a Stranger: Most women fantasize about meeting a complete stranger and being taken to a motel and made love-to passionately. In this fantasy, women have sex uninhibitedly. The rationale for this fantasy is that women feel they can let themselves totally lose with a stranger who, most likely, they will never see again.
9. Group Sex: Women fantasize about being engaged in sex with multiple partners at the same time and being touched and penetrated by men and women simultaneously.
8. Dominating a Man: One of women’s most recurrent is to dominate men. In their fantasies, women spank, order him to perform specific sexual acts, make him beg to get what he wants, and have men suck on their stiletto shoes or some other phallic object.
7. Having Sex in Public: Many women fantasize about having an audience while having sex with their partners. In such fantasies, women feel empowered by knowing that others are getting sexually aroused about their sexual performance.
6. Being Dominated: Whether it is to resist and disobey them or to give in to their demands, women fantasize about having a master. Submission that leads to an orgasm after obeying the orders of a master, or fight him to refuse his demands only to be forced into penetration until she surrenders, is a common sexual fantasy among women.
5. Having Sex With Another Woman: Women often fantasize about touching and being touched by another woman and engaging in sexual acts with other women.
4. Exotic Professional: Women fantasize about being prostitutes or being strippers and getting paid to perform sexual acts with their clients.
3. Two Men: Many women have a recurrent fantasy about having sex with two men at the same time and being masturbated or penetrated by both men simultaneously.
2. Wear the Pants and the Penis: A common fantasy among women is to be in control by wearing a strap-on penis and penetrating men.
1. Being Taken Advantage Of: The number one sexual fantasy women have is to be innocent, naïve, and “new” at the sexual practices and be taken advantage of by a man, especially if this man is in a position of power or influence. Fantasies about rape fall in this category, in which women fantasize about being forced into having sex by a virile and expert man.
How about male sexual fantasies?
10. Sharing his partner
The reasons for this fantasy are quite diverse. Some of the men who fantasize about this simply enjoy the thought of pleasuring a woman in ways that are physically impossible for a single man (at the same time, anyway), others are turned on by the element of humiliation to themselves it can contain, and yet others get excited over the element of submission on the woman’s side that might be implied. All these different fantasies combined make this one of the more popular themes.
9. Being watched
The combination of being taboo and involving others is what makes this fantasy a turn-on for quite a few men. Forbidden fruit is always attractive, especially when it comes to sex. When the chance of showing off ones sexual prowess to the world is added to that, it becomes an irresistible fantasy for many.
8. Age differences
Sometimes it’s a simple matter of taste, sometimes a matter of wanting what you don’t have, and sometimes a matter of nostalgia. Either way, men often fantasize about women with ages vastly different from their own. Eighteen year old men fantasize about women in their forties, fifty-eight year old men fantasize about eighteen year old women, and so on.
7. Going down
When it comes to specific sex acts, one of the most popular ones to fantasize about is performing oral sex on women. Both the thought of pleasuring a woman as well as stimulating senses like taste and scent make this fantasy incredibly arousing for many men.
6. Various orifices
While performing oral sex on women is a popular fantasy, even more popular are receiving oral sex from a woman or performing anal sex on her. The difference in sensations from “normal” sex as well as the taboo aspect these acts hold for some prove to be incredibly alluring for many men – especially those who haven’t tried them before.
5. Sexy outfits
Nurse costumes, schoolgirl outfits, leather corsets and smart business suits. They’re just a few of the many outfits men fantasize about women wearing. While men usually aren’t quite as interested in high fashion as women are, the right set of clothes will turn many on.
4. A change of scenery
“Location, location, location” might be the motto of real estate agents, but for many men it’s also a main feature of their fantasies. Whether it’s a tropical beach at night, the hood of their car, a sunny park in spring or the kitchen, sex in specific places is one of the most exciting fantasies for many men.
It’s often said that men are visual creatures, and this fantasy definitely confirms that. Watching a single woman masturbate, or watching a couple having sex – they’re favorite fantasies among a large group of men. Perhaps not surprising, considering the popularity of porn.
2. Giving up control
In a society where men are often expected to take initiative, it shouldn’t come as a shock that many of them fantasize about doing the exact opposite and completely giving up control to a woman. Fantasies involving this range from simply being lazy in bed to being tied up and ravished by a woman.
1. Three’s company
It’s cliché, but true: the most popular fantasy among men involves having sex with multiple women at the same time. Virtually every straight man will fantasize about it several – or, more likely, numerous – times in his life. Even if it usually doesn’t work out quite as well as you’d hope in real life, as a fantasy it is virtually unbeatable.