Category: Men and sex, Erections, penis size etc.

How watching the Red Wings and other hockey games gets you more sex

 

As a red blooded Canadian girl I understand the appeal of hockey.  In Canada hockey (and Tim Horton’s coffee) is as close as we have to a national religion.There is something about padded guys in hockey jerseys skating around at high speed and winging rubber at each other that gets your heart racing. Fights where a couple of goons go at each other, wild action and big hits are always entertaining to watch. And don’t get me started on the sexy hockey beards…

I’ve long known that if I played my cards right I can usually get sex while watching sports. I written before about the  Monday Night Football half time romp. And my flirty date nights after an evening watching the Sens at Scotiabank Place during those cold winter nights.

But until the new study came out from the University of Michigan, I didn’t have the science of my sports and sex correlation. The University did a great study that involved checking the saliva of men in the stands before and after a Red Wings game to determine their testosterone levels.  (Did  mention that I would be happy to personally check the saliva of the boys in red myself? but I digress…) With no surprise to me watching all of that beef cake win encourages fans to increase their testosterone level by up to 30% – especially of they win. Testosterone is your aggression, sex and brawn type hormone, and will encourage your sweetie to focus on you once the whistle is blown.

Now with the Red Wings going into game 7 against the dreaded Sharks you can’t help but be encouraged about some upcoming “sexy time”. Couple that with some deep fried calamari ( seafood is high in zinc – the sex mineral.and Red Wing fans throw squids on the ice- Yup those large rubbery sea creatures when they score a goal),  and you’ve got a recipe for lov’n.

Go wings go.

Why men need to chill before they can interact. It’s all about the hormones.


I’m reading John Gray’s new book Venus on Fire and Mars on Ice about male and female hormonal changes. Now John Gray is an interesting guy. He is the #1 best selling realtionship therapist in history with his book about the differences between men and women (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus). He has some insights into gender (especially understanding guys) and he credits the latest scientific research for how interaction can impact our physical selves. It’s a very interesting understanding that how we get along increases of decreases or hormones. And if you’ve been reading my blog (www.loveandlipstick.com) you’ll know that it’s ALL about your hormones.

His new book explains why men and women behave the way they do.

The truth is we all need to fill up our hormonal bucket before we can interact with our spouse. Men ave been dealing with the world all day and all they want to do when they come home is turn on Sports Center, ope a beer and zone out. Women have laundry, dishes, dinner and need to conect an talk about our days to unwind. The last thing men want to do is talk about their day.

It turns out tha men need quiet to recharge their main hormone- testosterone. Women on the other hand, need to nurture and be nurtured in order to replenish their oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is women’s main “feel better” hormone.

Gray goes onto explain that besides zoning out, men get charged by 1. solving problems. 2. feeling needed. Women on the other hand, feel better when they 1. have a listening ear 2. care and cluck over a loved one.

Which translates into him wanting to solve you problem, and you needed just a a chance to air out how you’re feeling. John Gray makes a good point. He says that when women feel like they aren’t fixing things it bugs them. It is that feeling times ten for men. And if a guy is ignored it stings, but it is that feeling times ten when a women isn’t acknowledged.

Good points and what’s interesting is that how you interact GREATLY impacts your health and physcal self. It’s only been in the last few years that we’ve had the research to say that human interaction WILL affect our bodies. Just like stressed people have heat attacks, men who have sex live longer, and people are able to keep their hormones up (and thus be healthier) if they understand the kind of daily human interaction they need.

Happy Endings. The new comedy or what happens at the end of an Asian rub and tug experience?


I actually want to talk a little about both kinds of Happy Endings. The phrase Happy endings used to invoke thought of fairy tales and “happily ever after”… Now as a sex therapist I think about the “jack shacks” or the new breed of masseuse when I hear it. I had an interview with Pauline from Michelle’s massage in Ottawa recently about her expertise in prostate massage. She claims to have given over 10,000 orgasms. She gives a good massage, and specializes in internal prostate tickles. Check out the 40 minute step-by-step audio at www.sexwithsue.com.

She says she has licensed RMT’s working part time for her, and has a whole group of friendly, knowldegable staff that do 20 minute massages and are booked at the half hour. They aren’t strictly speaking, legal. But if you are licensed with no drugs and use women over 18 the vice department usually looks the other way.

Now ABC has a new comedy with the same name. Happy Endings starring Elisha Cuthbert of 24 fame will debut tonight. I wonder if anyone is getting the name mixed up on Google? Here is the new comedy trailer…http://abc.go.com/shows/happy-endings Think of an updated Friends with six buds who hang together and are trying to figure it out. Sound familiar? But I don’t hink they have a Phoebe massage therapist character who offers up the goods.

Sleep apnea- it kills both you and your sex life. It may be why you feel so lousy.


I used to have a very bad case of sleep apnea. Needed naps in the afternoon, woke up gasping, and had earthquake-like snoring that moved my partner to another room for years. I once casued an international incident falling asleep on an air plane. I was that loud.

Sleep apnea is casued when the back of your throat closes over your widpipe and cuts off the oxygen while sleeping. The air going through causes your palate to vibrate loudly. My whole famly had problems with it. I describe the group of us ( my amazing family) as “barrels with legs” who had thick necks and short torsos (now doesn’t that sound attractive…) and small, closed off tracheas . Sleep apnea is a very serious issue, and is the cause of more sleep related deaths, heart attacks, and fatigue issues than most people realize. You also walk around like the a cast member from Dawn of the Dead becasue your body keeps jerking you out of sleep in order to breathe. It can impact marriages (certainly sex lives), and leave sufferers chronically exhausted. It also goes (terrifyingly) on your driving record.

To diagnose apnea you go for a sleep test. You end up looking alot like the guy in the picture. They wire you up with electrodes to determine if you have small breathing pauses during the night. I just finished my third of these tests. I’m trying to download the picture of me covered in wires so you can see how attractive I am as the bride of Frankenstein. You don’t get much sleep. You are in a hospital setting and they have a camera watching you dose and listening to your charming sleep sounds. They wake you up if your mask slips of if one of your wires disconect.

On my first sleep test I was diagnosed with severe apnea. My second test involved what I call “sleeping with the elephant”. This is where they put you on a CPAP machine with as long air tube uses air pressure to force the back of your throat open. I ended up ripping it off in the middle of the night and throwing it across the room. Other people love them and couldn’t imagine how they ever slept without it. They wake up rested and oxygenated for the first time in years. I hated the machine and tried it for over a month with no success. I kept taking it off while I slept. So I opted for the UPPP surgery. This involved tearing out my tonsils, my uvula (the dangly thing at the back of your throat), and a good chunk of the soft palate. This surgery is not for the faint of heart. 6 week recovery, and is considered the most painful surgery there is – far more painful than heart surgery. It was Hell but there was an end in sight. And my apnea was severe enough to need treatment.

However it cured my snoring. My sleep test last night was to see if I have fully recovered and past the test. I’ll have my results next week. In the mentime, if your soring has gotten worse, you have over a 16 inch neck (female) or 17 inch neck (male) and you feel tired – you too may have sleep apnea. It’s much more common than you think and I know of two women in their 30′s PERSONALLY, who have died from it. Besides you can end up with the fetching pictures after you get wired up. Talk to your doctor about a sleep referral.

 

 

 

 

 

NO MORE KIDS!!! Current information on vasectomy, tubal otherwise known as “The big snip”

I had a question about the difference between vasectomy and a tubal ligation on this week’s Love and Lipstick show (Sundays and Monday’s on EZ Rock). Every woman I know has had the Oh-My-God worry when their period was late unexpectedly. And when you already have kids (and have just gone through the craziness of March Break and the thought of more is terrifying) you may be thinking that the current birth control methods may not be cutting the mustard.

When you are looking to eliminate the worry of contraception permanently (get yourself fixed) you have three options:

Tubal (AKA getting your tubes tied)
Vasectomy
Essure

No matter what you choose, you have to assume that the decision is permanent. If you try to get either vasectomy or tubal revered the results are iffy at best, very painful and cost $5000 to $10,000.
Ask yourself the questions of:
1.Are you absolutely sure?
2. Is there other forms of birth control that might work for you?
3. Is this decision mutual?
Many doctors won’t do the procedure if you are under 35, but if you are adamant that this is what you want then find the local specialist in your area. In Ottawa Dr. Ron Weiss has done thousands of non-scapel snips and teaches the procedure. I would always recommend a specialist for your boys.

Here’s what happens in a “no-scalpel” vasectomy, done usually in a doctor’s office or clinic.
A tool called a hemostat punctures a small hole in the scrotum. The vas defrens (the tubes bringing sperm up and out) are teased out and then clipped, blocked or cauterized. In traditional vasectomy a scalpel cuts the scrotum and the same thing is done to the wayward tubes. I am told that a day off, no lifting for 2 weeks, and the medicinal combination of Jack Daniels and a bag of frozen peas on your nuts keeps the swelling down. I am told some of the worse part of the procedure is the shaving the doctor does before he/she starts. Oh, and you can resume crazy sex after 2 weeks but your plumbing needs 15 ejaculations to clear the tube. As a sex therapist some of the downsides I see after a vasectomy is a lowering of libido. The literature is inconclusive, but I see a correlation. So if you are the less horny one in your relationship, you might want to ponder the option more closely.

The tubal is a little more complicated. I had one done 10 years and 150 heavier and my doctor said it was far more difficult on heavier women. However I knew I didn’t want any more children and believe it’s easier to stop one egg a month than 100 million sperm a day. Either the doctor goes through your belly button (In my case though the pelvic wall) and pumps your abdomen full of gas so that your tubes are exposed. A numbing spray on the tubes helps with the after pain (which was significant). The tubes are them cauterized or blocked. I am still very happy with my decision.

Finally, the new procedure called Essure is where two, tiny spring-like coils are inserted into the fallopian tubes through the vagina. With only a day recovery period and no post surgery complications to think about it’s a good option. After 3 months a follow up appointment happens to make sure the coils are in the right place.

Given that there are no perfect methods of birth control, sterilization is as fool-proof as it gets. With an almost non-existent failure rate it’s so much sexier not to be dealing with the hassles of birth control. Smile.

Improve Your Penis Size. Guaranteed new treatment by the leading sex therapist in male performance

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Listen to this audio book in Sex with Sue’s own voice that offers up the latest ideas, research and reliable insight into becoming an A class lover. Be the guy that has women falling at your feet, and writing your number on bathroom walls.

Get the truth about improving your penis size, along with suggestions on what women really want. Sex with Sue is the #1 best selling author of Quivering Jello on G spot orgasms, international television expert, and syndicated talk radio host.

She separates the truth from the “spam” and uses her cut-to-the-chase approach to outline the steps you need to do to get the equipment and skill you need in the bedroom.

She looked up, gasped and then smiled. I had grown thicker and fuller since we had last been intimate…

The No BS truth about increasing your penis size (and making it do all kinds of cool tricks) by North America’s leading sex therapist.

Penis size… It’s what men obsess about and the subject that women talk about among themselves. There is loads of spam, crazy contraptions, scary, outrageously priced surgeries’ and does any of it really work? What is average and how do you become the lover you need to be to satisfy the women in your life? Sue is the trusted expert who will serve up all the details and answer all of the questions you’ve ever had about penis size, and the techniques to go with your increased girth. The average North American size is 4 to 6 inches erect, but it is the width that give women the greatest sensation. All the details on looking bigger, feeling more studley, and having women pass out your number to their friends is explained in Sue’s own voice.

Get her writing your name on bathroom walls, falling at your feet, and becoming the lover she dreams about.

Sue “Sex with Sue” McGarvie is one of North America’s leading sex therapists and the syndicated talk show host with a specialization in male performance issues. She’s written the best selling book on orgasms Quivering Jello, along with “Hold your Horses” on premature ejaculation. Penis size is one of the top three questions she gets from men (the other two include lasting longer, and improving erections). Having a smaller penis is one of the leading causes on male sexual anxiety and there is much you can do to improve your performance, increase your confidence, and increase the size of your penis. What can you really do to increase the size of your penis? Sue explains it in specific details.

The latest cutting edge information, and a detailed description of what to do to increase your penis size and take your sex skills up to you’re a game.

This is more than just pills that don’t work. This is research from a leading sex therapist who’ll deliver the details – tell you what really works, and what is a scam. It’s step by step audio instructions in Sue’s funny, professional but unflappably friendly radio voice. All this for the price of dinner out (an affordable $49.99)

You get all the cutting edge, and detailed description on what works, what to try, and how to increase your penis size, and improve your bedroom performance.

Make her crazy. Get it now, and you’ll also get Sue’s best selling book on G spot orgasms, Quivering Jello, along her book on lasting longer. That’s three best selling books, audio description of what works when it comes to penis size, and follow up newsletters for a mere $49.99.

Be the partner she needs you to be. Get accurate information from North America’s leading sex therapist, learn what you can and can’t fix and what could be harmful for you. And really, truly increase your penis size. This is the detailed explanation written by a sex expert that gives you the truth about what your penis can, and can’t do. Find out what size is the best to please the women in your life.

Don’t disappoint yourself or the women in your bed. Get the information on how to be sexually confident and as full and pleasing a penis as you can make it. So for $49.99, you get an audio instruction manual for increasing your size, the audio and book on premature ejaculation, and Sue’s #1 best selling book Quivering Jello – which is over $200 is value FREE!!!!!

The 10 Quick Steps to Reaching a G-Spot Orgasm as described on the Sexapalooza stage.

Check the Sex with Sue Blog!

Sue reviews the top sexy vacation hotspots!

Sex toys – Reviews of the Top 15 best sex toys and devices.

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Why your rapid or premature ejaculation may be your dad’s fault, or linked to your sense of smell

The most common problem I see daily in my sex therapy practice, without a doubt is men struggling to last longer in bed. With an average duration of seven minutes, and many guys lasting only one -two, there are a bunch of women frustrated at how short the whole process is. With most women needed 10-12 minutes of rubbing (with their clit involved) to reach orgasm vaginally – if they can at all well… you do the math.

I keep telling guys that if we can put men on the moon, “then for God’s sakes we should be able to get them to last longer in bed”.

Besides doing some cool research with all the new devices on the market (my patients give me clear feedback on what works), there are some interesting studies that is suugesting that premature ejaculation may be genetic. They found a gene for ejacualtion control when scientists mapped out the genome and you may be able to blame your dad and grandfather and base DNA for being a little quick off the mark. The other thing that’s come up lately in sex research is that the smell of your partner at her fertile or ovulating times of the month may set you off faster. Women ovulate about 14 days before the start of their next period, and are more sexual, have friendlier vaginal mucus and smell more appealing to the primitive, limbic part of your brain. Even if you don’t notice it consciously. All the stripper claim that they get more attention (and bigger tips) during their periods, and when they are ovulating.

“Recent research has also investigated the role of factors involving the female partner. One study of young married couples (Tullberg, 1999) reported that the husband’s IELT seems to be affected by the phases of the wife’s menstrual cycle, the IELT tending to be shortest during the fertile phase. Other studies suggest that young men with older female partners reach the ejaculatory threshold sooner, on average, than those whose partners are their own age or younger”

So the moral of the story- until you get your premature ejacualtion under control (www.solveprematureejaculation.net), feel free to blame your anscestors, or 100 million years of evolution on your tendency to be a fast shooter.

The secret of male multiple orgasms. Muscle control and a partner that is both tough and teasing.

Men and multiple orgasms – there are ways to experience it.

Men have long been jealous of the way women can have one orgasm after another (thank you, thank you very much!). The reality is that men can experience multiple orgasms provided they do some advance work on tightening and strengthening thier PC muscles. Those are the muscles that lie under the pelvis that control ejaculation. The truth is that ejacualtion and the sensation of orgasm come almost silmultaneously in men, but hey are seperate functions. If men can learn to hold onto the ejaculation, they can experience the peak feeling of orgasm again and again before they finally squirt. I am working on a video about hw specifically to do this, and have found the dominatrixes really adapt at teasing without "coming" and punishing their playmates who come early. This combination of the carrot and stick have worked well with premature ejacualtors and men learning to control thier sexual sensations.

Start with the basic keegal exercise. Pretend you are peeing, and then stop the flow and squeeze down. Follow that up by putting a wet facecloth over your erection and moving it up and down.

We'll get to prostate massage, pressure points and perineum stroking in future posts.

Bill Clinton has emergency heart surgery for blocked arteries. The issues that block the big pipe will be blocking little Bill

www.sexwithsue.com , http://abcnews.go.com/Health/HeartDiseaseNews/president-bill-clinton-hospitalized-routine-stent-surgery-heart-chest-pain/story?id=9811364

Bill   I was reading about Bill Clinton's chest pains and emergency surgery today. More clogged arteries, and high cholesterol levels. Too much of that southern deep fried food. As a sex therapist I see so many patients who are struggling with erection problems as it relates to those blocked, small blood vessels in the penis.

The top issues related to erectile dysfunction are (in order based on my patients) are:

1. Diabetes, 2. blocked arteries (cholesterol), 3.anti-depressants side effects, 4.high blood pressure medication, 5.smoking and drinking, 6.prostate problems

I see men as young as low 30's with these problems. Good medical care, stating to try and de-clog those pipes, and a Viagra prescription may get Bill back in the romance business. However, there are a number of new herbal products that I would be recommending to Bill if he was my patient. Despite the offer, they never hired me to treat his sex addiction, but i have a plan to get him back in the saddle.

He needs to be on a combination of vitamin E, low dose aspirin, yohimbine, CLA, thrust and Maga (herbal viagra), along with a small amount of Cialis before intercourse. The Yohimbine and Thrust will increase the nitric oxide levels in his blood stream, and the combination of Vitamin E and aspirin will help clean out the gunk. Clinton may not read this, but would do well to consult a sex therapist to keep the legendary Clinton romance skills in play. 

Peyronies Disease. When you curve more than a little one way or another.

www.sexwithsue.com

Peronies diesease 

I was speaking with a girlfriend over the weekend who is busy dating a bunch of different men. She's single, over 40, has her own place, and is auditioning lovers. She claims that she "is now not giving these men even the time for a coffee if they don't show her pictures of their erect penises." It's not that she is overly difficult, it's that she's had more than a couple who have peyronies disease, where the penis is curved to such an extent that penetration is complicated. She beleives that peyronies is much more common that men think, and is caused by scar tissue building on the inside of the penis.

Imagine a balloon with a small piece of tape on it. If the balloon is inflated the tape will prevent full expansion, and it will be distorted. PD causes a similar mechanism of distortion in the penis. The normal penis expands and elongates evenly resulting in a straight erection. But in Peyronie's disease, normal elastic tissue is replaced by rather hard plaque tissue that is not elastic. When a man with Peyronie's has an erection the plaque does not expand, thus the curve or twist.

Cases of PD range from mild to severe; some are so mild as to be detected only on autopsy, while others are so severe that surgery is necessary to reduce painful distortion. The scar may range from a few millimeters or may encompass the entire shaft of the penis. Pain, hardened scar formation and/or distortion may develop slowly or appear overnight in PD. Do you hear that – overnight. I can only go by clinical evidence, but i think it affects close to 10% of  men over 30.

Angulation of the erect penis from 5°- 45° is not uncommon, and can be greater; deformities can advance beyond 90º and are described as “J”, “cane handle” and “corkscrew”. Distortion or angulation of the non-erect penis is rare. In a small percentage of cases with a milder form of the disease, inflammation may resolve without causing significant pain or permanent bending. Sexual difficulty and impotency also range from mild to severe, depending on the degree of deformity.

In some extreme cases the scar may create a bottle-neck, collar-like, or hourglass-like distortion of the erect penis. The scar tissue may cause the penis to be limp or soft beyond the location of the nodule, leading to inability to have sexual intercourse. At the extreme, an erect penis may be so distorted (“J” or “corkscrew”) making intercourse impossible or at least extremely painful for both partners.

There is little that works in fixing peyronies. Sometimes it cures on its own, miraculously healing as suddenly as it appeared. Vitamin E works, surgery can make it worse, and there are many stretching, herbs, and vacuum devices that claim to have an impact. I also think it has something to do with old football injuryies – and all boys and men should be encouraged to wear their jocks.

Testicular torsion. Or when your sack is in an uproar.

Test1 www.sexwithsue.com

When I was a kid we lived in the country, and I had a horse named Scooter. Scooter died suddenly from a horse disorder called colic that has twists up their stomach's (horses can't throw up) when they eat too much grain. Apparently it is very painful for horses, and I was understandably very upset when she died. 

It turns out that men can get theirr cords all in knot – but in the case of people, it's their testicles that can suddenly get tangled inside their scrotum. OWWWWW!

I had a patient recently who had this situation.  I have never come across such a case before  (and I live for the new stuff, because after 15 years 10 of which on air, there is little sexually I haven't encountered.) The only time I've ever heard about testicular torsion happening is in the winter when the scrotum is exposed to cold air (usually in very cold air after being all warm and relaxed) so beware the ski trips when you need to race outside to pee.

"When he arises, his scrotum is exposed to the colder room air. If the spermatic cord is twisted while the scrotum is loose, the sudden contraction that results from the abrupt temperature change can trap the testicle in that position. The result is a testicular torsion."  Apparently it can happen in very cold water or if you go from extreme hot to cold (so careful jumping in icy waters).

 The patient in question had already lost a testicle to torsion, (apparently it was nasty) and lives in fear – as a phobia- of anyone touching, bumping, playing or otherwise engaging contact with his remaining nut. It was a problem for his partner as he wouldn't let her touch his penis for fear of nudging the ball in question. 

Not that I'm expecting snow today, but I thought it would be a good time to outline the symptoms of testiculartorsion (it happens infrequently) from my favourite urology site. Keep it in mind if you get your panties in a knot.

Testicular Torsion Symptoms:

Testicular torsion is characterized by excruciating one-sided testicular pain, with sudden swelling. Since the cord structures twist (like the strings of a puppet), the testicle elevates as well. Patients may have nausea and vomiting. Patients may also have abdominal pain. There may be a history of previous testicular pain. Fever may also accompany the testicular pain.

Testicular torsion is seen most frequently in the 12-18-year-old age group, and most cases occur in men under 30 years of age. However, it can occur at any age, including in newborns.

When to Seek Medical Care:

Testicular swelling and pain should be evaluated on an emergent basis. The evaluation is best done in an emergency room, where rapid imaging is available and there is quick access to surgical intervention. There is about a six-hour window for the testicle to be salvaged; surgical treatment within this time frame is associated with a 100% salvage rate for the testicle. After six hours, the salvage rate decreases, and if surgical repair is performed after 24 hours, the testicle is no longer salvageable.

Testicles1 "let your boys hang free… "

The latest, greatest (and some re-hashed) techniques to improve your penis size. Or large schlong 101.

Ps2 I keep being asked about penis size by men who wonder whether there is a "real life, do-it yourself" method for enlarging your johnson. I was reviewing a list of all the known theories on penis size for my book about premature ejaculation, increasing your size and generally improving your performance that I needed to write for an upcoming  presentation I have which I affectionately call "Schlong Tips." 

Unfortunately there isn't loads of science about how to improve the size documented, peer reviewed and written up in reputable science journals. So I have to use a combination of popular literature, anecdotal evidence from my patients and 10 years of radio call in guys, along with stories swaped by doctors and sex therapists.  My audio book on penis enlargement that can be downloaded has a more extensive detailed discussion of this subject, along with my private conversation with the urologist I used to film my series in Toronto. 

Anyway, here is a summary of the few that I found most interesting and are the most plausible, however, I'm just passing on the information and not commenting on the effectiveness. As I don't have a penis (and I'm delighted with the one I get to borrow) I haven't tried any of them out.

1. Stretch method. -"Pioneer anthropologist Margaret Mead reported that Polynesian males stretch their penises with a woven device that wraps around the end and has weights on the other.   Physiologically the effect of hanging a heavy weight from the penis encourages a relaxation of the suspensory ligament, which can ultimately externalize an additional inch or so of the crura- or penile root. 

2. Foreskin restoration - These devices are basically a tube, weights, and a loop that hangs around the foreskin, and stretches it, causes the pleasant side effect of penile enlargement. This is similar to the method to essentially "yank" on the end of the penis (most body parts are enlarged through use, stretching, and encouragement). Apparently repeated and deliberate pulling of the penis will help relax the suspensory ligament over time.

3. Vacuum pumping – Think ofa milking machine.  one that applies negative pressure around the penis, and blood is forced into the organ which then becomes distended and turgid. The literature claims it stretches out the tissues and gives the penis " a workout". Details that diligently and persistently vacuum pumping your penis (a minimum of 6 months with a high quality medical pump) will add close to an inch to both the length and width of your member. This has the added benefit of improving erections in older men who have been having difficulties.

Penis size