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The G-spot is defined as a cluster of nerve endings deep in the vaginal wall, the G-spot when stimulated, can produce an incredibly intense type of orgasm.
The world of sex research has been a buzz about this new discovery, since the G-spot was first described by Beverley Whipple at the annual convention of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality in 1980. Many women claim that reaching a G-spot orgasm has been the high point of their sexual lives.
Women who have not experienced the type of vaginal orgasmic response a G-spot orgasm produces often feel frustrated and left out, that they are somehow missing out on a secret so special that they must be doing something wrong. I have had many women speak to me of the intense Richter scale orgasms associated with G-spot stimulation. Other women who have never heard of the G-spot and the intense orgasms it produces feel ashamed or scared when they start “gushing” and get really aroused from vaginal stimulation.
I first became interested in discussing the G-spot and disseminating information about it when I spoke to a woman who had experienced these intense orgasms and who thought something was seriously wrong with her. She had been to her doctor discussing the volumes of fluid gushing out of her, living in fear of a life threatening illness or physical deformity associated with these sensations and fluid expulsion. The later part of Quivering Jello: How to Have Mind-Blowing, Toe Curling Orgams has stories from real-life people who have had these kinds of orgasms and suggestions for how you can reach one too.
Unfortunately, many physicians are unaware of the recent developments in G-spot research and are unable to alleviate the fears and concerns of their patients who experience this kind of sexual stimulation. In fact, some well-intentioned but seriously uninformed doctors have even encouraged women to have surgery to correct this “problem”. Producing fluid and having a mind-blowing orgasm from your vagina is not weird, or abnormal. It’s healthy, sexy and something every woman should have the right to experience without shame.
These women thought that they were urinating, that they were incontinent. Other women have been told by their doctors to just stop having orgasms and that would stop the fluid from coming out! Obviously, these doctors weren’t doing their own hands on sexual research to find out how amazing a G-Spot orgasm can be.
As a sex therapist, and (for more than ten years) the host of a call-in radio talk show about sexuality, I hear all kinds of questions and problems from women and their partners about how to reach the elusive G Spot orgasm. The material collected for this book has been the result of conversations with thousands of people as a therapist and a radio host, who tried new and unique things in the bedroom. There is a collection of letters further on in this book that offer real-life suggestions and strategies couples have tried in enhancing their lovemaking.
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This nerve center deep in the front wall of the vagina is about an inch and a half in, underneath the bladder. Don’t despair initially if you poke around and do not feel anything. One listener described the amount of pressure needed, as having to press hard enough to “pick his wife up with his fingers.” Very long fingers would then be needed to determine the position of the G-spot when lying on the back.
Many women I’ve spoken to find it easier to reach the G-spot if they “bare down” or push out with their genital muscles. Initially, the G-spot feels like a tender spot, and when the g-spot is continually stimulated then it feels like “you need to pee badly” (Carrie 27, listener) The G-spot is located just underneath the bladder, and this is a normal feeling that goes away in a moment if stimulation continues.
The key is that if you can push through this part, and keep on continuing after short pauses, the waves of orgasm start building in intensity.
Some, but not all women if the stimulation builds (especially if there has been a recent clitoral orgasm), or if the re is clitoral stimulation at the same time. My client Jennifer says it feels best if her partner makes a motion with her finger like a “come here” signal, that with enough pressure can bring her to a G-spot orgasm.
The Exact Spot
Let’s be really clear exactly where the G-spot is. It’s located roughly in the middle of the front wall of the vagina. One way to find the location of the spot is to pretend there is a clock in the vagina. If twelve o’clock is pointing to the navel, it is also indicating the position of the G-spot. The sensitive part of the spot is not exactly easy to find, being embedded deep in the vagina wall. So unlike the clitoris, this deep-seated cluster of nerve endings is not as obvious and as easy to find.
One listener suggested that if you could reach underneath the clitoris, from the inside that is where her G-spot would likely be situated.
If the G-spot is stimulated sufficiently, and the intensity is there, many women can have multiple orgasms one after the other. I had one women listener who wrote me saying she could see “colors exploding behind her closed eyes”, when she was having this kind of stimulation.
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If the whole vulva was a clock, then the clitoris would be at 12:00. The G-spot would then between 11:00 and 1:00. Realize that this is deep stimulation near the back of the vagina, and on the actual spot – say half-way up the front wall.
Go into the vagina, feel under the curve of the pubic bone, then right after the bulge of the bone, directly under the “clock” or straight under the clitoris, along the ridge of the bone should be where the G-spot nerve endings start.
While offering clitoral stimulation (a mouth works best) use a hard “come here movement” at the spot. Stop if it gets too intense or if your hand gets tired but resume the stimulation. You can cheat by using a G-Spot vibrator that looks like a “J” to do some of the work inside. Don’t be afraid to use fairly firm pressure.
Try having your partner (if she’s not in a daze of Quivering Jello by now), press down on her lower abdomen. You are trying to get to deep seated nerve endings and pressing down helps.
Some women claim crunching their abdominal muscles – almost like doing a sit-up helps. Others find it easier, on their stomache with genitals in the air and having their partner going in from behind- pressing down works well.
Tickle gently the opening of the urethra. This is the tiny hole she “pees” out of just above her vagina. If she’s going to ejaculate – this is where it comes from.
If you can get a couple of fingers inside her vagina, try that –especially as your knuckles massage back and forth almost like the Queen “waving”.
A fuller bladder helps increase the sensation – so make sure you have lots of towels if she has one of those orgasms where she sees stars and releases lots of vaginal fluid. Intense stimulation on her clitoris (try a small clit vibrator) while working the G-spot spot seems to work well.
If it gets too intense, stop and start the stimulation. Most women need a number 30 second breaks or so on their way to orgasm. If it gets too crazy, stop for a moment before resuming the stimulation. You can handle more and more intensity as it builds towards a crushing orgasm.
Finally, it may take you a few weeks of trying this to finally get it. Stay with it, the work is fun and the payoff enormous. The female body can do amazing things- experiment with different kinds of stimulation, and soon G will be your favorite letter in the alphabet!!
Sue McGarvie – “Sex with Sue” www.sexwithsue.com
The 10 Quick Steps to Reaching a G-Spot Orgasm .
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