Category: Orgasms

20 things women can do to increase your chance of having an orgasm!

I did a talk recently to over 600 women physicians at a National Women in Medicine Conference. What came out of it was the need for more information about female orgasm and how to treat it. Yes we are stuck on issues of low libido, but an inability to achieve orgasm can impact up to 34% of the population.

I was asked for a list of suggestions on how to finally “get there”. They can run from less to more intrusive but they are a good list to work from if you are troubleshooting lack of orgasm. Before it even starts make sure you are clean, voided and relaxed.

1. Clit piercing. Really. I have one and they especially help women with too much skin over the hood of their clitoris. Research a great Peircer but they are not as out there as you might think.
2.Scream cream. Read the link and the prescription on how to use this magic cream to increase blood flow to the genitals.
3. Fantasy, porn or erotica. I have a number of women who can’t climax unless they can have a story in their heads. Many women are ashamed of what they are imagining and they shut it down. You can think of anything in your creative imagination that gets you off. Remember it’s just a thought so stop editing yourself.
4. vaginal kung fu. Really. It involves jade eggs of other vaginal strengthening devices. Read more.
5. Scent. You may think aromatherapy sounds like hocus pocus but many women seriously react to scent. Great oral hygiene, and partners that smell good make us weak in the knees.
6.Ground up Valium or muscle relaxant in lube. It can loosen the muscles of the vaginal walls and make penetration more comfortable. It also allows more blood flow to the nerve endings of the clitoris. I am also hearing great things about the CBD oil for internal relaxation as well.
7.Dry humping. Yup, re-live those High School days. For loads of women they need less intense stimulation and through their clothes actually works.
8. Clench your ab muscles like climbing a rope in gym class. Something about tightening those abdominal muscles seems to really help.
9. Anal. I know more than a few women who need a butt plug, finger, or something vibrating in their ass in order to reach orgasm. Give it a try.
10. Increase your oxytocin levels. The best and easiest way to do this is to have lots of nipple stimulation.
11. And speaking of hormones that might be a problem. Speak to your doctor about getting tested. You physician can prescribe oxytocin, testosterone, DHEA, progesterone or estrogen (the sex hormones) in the right dosage for you and finally get you over the hump.
12. Focus on 10 and 2 O’Clock. Touching those spots on the sides of the clit offers most women the best kind of orgasm-inducing stimulation.
13. Give yourself a deadline. Sometimes the thought of sex going on forever can feel daunting. And some women simply need a target to try and achieve. Set the tier on your phone and see what happens.
14. Make sure your feet are warm. The study from North Carolina said that cold feet can decrease a woman’s ability to reach orgasm.
15. Lose the high heels and work on your posture. Sometimes it can be as simple as a tweaked back nerve.
16. Stimulate the left side of the spine. It helps trigger the orgasm reflex. I know a woman who can climax from having the top part of her ass on the left side bitten.
17. Try a hot wash cloth on the vulva before sex can help dilate the blood vessels.
18. Rate the pleasure and trick your brain. It helps get your head out of your grocery list and sneak up on their orgasm.
19. Find the most sensitive part of their body and spend loads of time on it. Gentle touch on the outside in and go very, very gently. There is a great article in Tim Ferris’s 4 Hour Body book about the benefits of feather soft touch.
20. Try some of the new toys. I’m a big fan of the Zumio, the Intensity, the Magic Wand, and the We Vibe.

The 5-step process to achieve female orgasm

For the over 15% of women who rarely achieve orgasm, sex can be a huge source of frustration.
Inability to achieve orgasm is the second most common female sexual dysfunction that Sex Therapists see clinically in their offices trailing only libido issues.1 With pat answers like “increasing the romance”, “lighting a candle” or ‘trying a new sex position for intercourse” women who can’t climax have been offered inane suggestions that haven’t resulted in sexual satisfaction. Women on the inorgasmia blogs describe feeling “shut down and confused”, or “ashamed that they don’t work properly sexually”. What women have been looking for are clear solutions in reaching climax.
There are a few new products that when coupled with current research suggestions offer up a step by step process for achieving orgasm. While there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to orgasm achievement, these suggestions sure help increase the odds. Here are five steps that women might try.

1. Women need to give themselves permission to achieve orgasm in whatever way their body needs to climax. It helps dramatically if women let go worries about what they look like, what they fantasize about or whether they are being sexual the right or wrong way. Editing your sexual thoughts go a long way to shutting down a sexual response. Women have a right to pleasure. Many women believe that the only right orgasm is one that is achieved through vaginal intercourse.
“Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse. This bears repeating: Only one-quarter of women reliably experience orgasm during intercourse-no matter how long it lasts, no matter what size the man’s penis, and no matter how the woman feels about the man or the relationship. This statistic comes not from just one study, but from a comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years by Elisabeth Lloyd in her fascinating book The Case of the Female Orgasm (Harvard University Press).”2

2. Adding a clitoral dilating cream (such as the Scream Cream with Sildenafil. See below for prescription) to the clitoris and labia 40 minutes before stimulation will help dilate the blood vessels in the entire genital region. It is blood flowing against nerve endings that help trigger orgasm.

3. Find something erotic. Again, there is no one size fits all but more women find story based movies or erotic literature arousing. Whatever individually appeals don’t edit it (50 Shades of Grey sold millions of copies) and allow yourself the time to become really turned on.

4. Start physically with 10 to 15 minutes of nipple stimulation. Dr. Prudence Hall of California says in her book Radiant Again and Forever that 10 minutes or more of nipple stimulation produces enough oxytocin for most women to become aroused enough to desire sex and increases the ability for most women to achieve orgasm.

5. Get a Zumio. The new Zumio is an award-winning toy and medical device that targets stimulation with pin-point accuracy. Some of the reviews about it include
“Different and more intense than anything else.”
“Wow, it sure lets me hit the right spots.”
“Mind-blowing! An orgasm in less than a minute and three in under ten!”
By understanding that each spot on your entire labia, clitoris and vaginal opening has different nerve endings, the Zumio toy can be used to target different areas. The Zumio offers both a circling motion along with vibration to help enhance blood flow to the area needed to achieve climax. Eight speed settings help women not to feel overpowered with too much sensation but also increase the intensity to extremely powerful when needed.

These steps offer up a great recipe for inorgasmia.
But there are also other ideas that troubleshoot inorgasmia. These include the application of muscle relaxants to the inside of the vaginal area to help increase blood flow. Grind up an over-the-counter Robaxin, suspend it in lube and insert it in vaginally. It helps with penetrative ease, and it also helps encourage openness of the complete vaginal area. The new Orgasm shot3 uses an injection of your own platelets (PRP) exactly where the blood supply and nerves to the G-spot lie. The spot grows in size and nerves multiply. In turn, the G-spot becomes easier to touch and delivers more sensation and an increased ability to reach orgasm.
Understanding your body and using the new technology available such as the Zumio medical device will help ensure that full orgasmic responses are available to all women.

1. http://www.healthywomen.org/condition/sexual-dysfunction
2 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/200903/the-most-important-sexual-statistic
3. https://inovomedical.ca/sexual-health/o-shot/orgasm-shot-o-shot-what-is-it/


Scream Cream:

Studies have reported that over 43% of women in North America experience little to no sexual satisfaction from clitoral orgasm and only 25% acheive orgasm with intercourse. In fact, according to the studies, numerous women between 18 and 80 do not even know what an orgasm is or how it is achieved.
Whether someone is multi-orgasmic or among the 43% of women who are sexually frustrated, any woman who desires maximum sexual fulfillment, greater intimacy, and enhanced relationships stands to benefit from regular use of Scream Cream.
Unlike the over-the-counter orgasm cream you buy at the sex store, Scream Cream packs a punch. Invented by my favourite pharmacist, Scott Watson at Watsons’s Pharmacy in Ottawa. I’m giving it to women along with a high end, high vibration toy (like a magic wand or intensity), scream cream is doubling the amount of women I’m able to offer suggestions that bring women to orgasm.
Scream cream contains a combination of prescription and non-prescription components described as blood flow enhancers and vasodilators. Each ½ gram dose contains Aminophylline 15-mg, Isosorbid dinitrate 1.25 mg, Ergoloid mesylate 0.25 mg, Pentoxifylline 25 mg, and L-Arginine 30-mg. Disolved in a water based hypoallergenic transdermal vehicle (think lube). The vehicle is designed to enhance the rate of absorption and to cause the medication to be retained locally in order to maximize local effects and metabolism while minimizing the potential side effects.

Use:

Scream cream should be applied directly to the clitoris (or the penis) at least 30 minutes prior to anticipated sexual relations and gently (or vigorously ) massaged in. The duration of effect ranges from 30 minutes to 2 hours and heightens both the ease of stimulation and intensity of orgasm.
Contraindications:
Patients with a history of sensitivity to any of the ingredients should not use this product. Patients with a history of genital herpes should use this product with caution as L-Arginine may facilitate the reproduction of the herpes virus.
Scream cream is packaged in 30 multi-dose tubes.
2 or 4% sildenafil
3% L-Arginine
5% Phentoxifylline

 

The O shot – A Sex Therapist’s Firsthand experience

As a credible Sex Therapist I don’t refer any of my clients to other specialists, procedures, or fellow Therapists without first knowing the other professionals style and treatment plans. Any referral has to have a good likelihood of working for that specific client or I won’t attach my name to it. I value my client’s time and money, and patients pay for my expertise in the area of sexuality. I only refer to people I know, like and trust.

In the past I had sent a few clients to Montreal and Toronto to get the O shot procedure from physicians I had previously met at conferences on sexuality. My clients are women who have been struggling with lack of orgasm, decreased sensitivity and incontinence. The clients seemed happy with the results. But they were understandably anxious and there were significant costs in traveling out of town. New clients had questions about the procedure that I could only answer from the third person. I then heard that in 2017 the Orgasm or O shot was now available in my hometown of Ottawa, Ontario by Inovo Medical. They had a booth about sexual and cosmetic medicine at the Women’s Show and had great reviews from previous patients. It was time for me to go through the O shot procedure myself in order to feel like “I was walking the walk”. The other sexual procedures done at Inovo Medical include an increase in penile girth, the P shot for Peyronie’s (bend in the penis), and laser treatments for vaginal tightening.

I arranged a meeting with the chief physician at Innovo Medical, Dr. Belanger, in order to ask my questions in person and get his take on the procedure. My first meeting was actually Halloween day. The whole staff was dressed up, laughing, offering up chocolate all while being very professional. I love Halloween and chocolate so I felt the love. It was a great atmosphere with a supportive and inclusive group. I was invited to join them over lunch and the staff (including their resident physicians) were all present and engaged discussing sexual medicine. I was sold.
The O shot is defined as “The Orgasm Shot® (O-Shot®) procedure is a very specific method of using blood-derived growth factors to rejuvenate the vagina to help relieve women with urinary incontinence and sex problems.”
That’s a formal way of saying that by injecting the body’s own platelets into the vagina, G spot, vulva and urethra it encourages significant healing and increased blood flow in those areas. PRP procedure uses the body’s own healing to concentrate on areas that have been diminished. Athletes use the procedure to heal specific areas after injuries.

The O shot was designed to improve areas of Female sexual dysfunction. Besides incontinence, female sexual dysfunction can include:

• Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (usually but not always accompanies Sexual Desire Disorder). Women who suffer with this may want to have sex but have much difficulty finding the pleasure of arousal. The 5% incidence doesn’t sound like much until you think about it–that’s the same as one in 20!

• Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (Low desire). Remember, that this is not counted a disorder unless it’s disrupting the woman’s life. Around 10% of women suffer with this problem. Important: Suffering with a sexual disorder does not simply make sex not fun. Better sex leads to more energy, more creativity, increased confidence, less depression, and improved overall health.

• Female Orgasmic Disorder: Again around 1 in 20 (or 5%). Here women can become aroused but have much difficulty with orgasm. This can be so frustrating that sex becomes a frustration that they avoid.

• Dyspareunia: Here the woman suffers with real pain with sex (not from decreased lubrication or vaginal spasm). The incidence is from around 1 in 10 to 1 in 5 women. (The above shocking statistics came from Obstetrics & Gynecology April 2011)
If you experience any of those kinds of sexual dysfunction you might want to seriously consider getting an O shot. For women over 50 who are lacking in sensitivity it’s one of the most effective treatments. It’s not inexpensive, but for a one-time try the procedure costs $700. It may be a good birthday present suggestion.
The whole procedure takes about 2 hours to complete all at the Inovo Medical Centre near Montreal and Olgivie Roads in Ottawa.

Here’s how it works:

After you arrive at Innovo, the staff will ask you to use the washroom to put some Emla (numbing lotion) cream all over your vulva and inside the vagina. After about 30 minutes you feel NOTHING. Everything is numb.
After that, Jenny the cheerful nurse brings you into a room and takes a vial of blood out of your arm to spin for the procedure. You go back into the waiting room and continue getting numb while reading a magazine. Expect to sit for 45 minutes while the cream works to make the procedure pain-free.

Once the plasma is ready Dr. Belanger gets you into the stirrups and uses a local anesthetic (like you get at the dentist) to further freeze your nether regions. After a few minutes more of waiting for you to be completely frozen your own plasma (PRP) is then injected into three spots. The first injection is by your clitoris, the second near your urethra and the third is inside the vagina into your G spot.

The truth is I felt absolutely zero pain for the first two injections. I was so numb that I didn’t even feel the pressure. For the G spot injection I did feel a twinge but not even as much as a bee sting.
After the procedure you are asked to wait to make sure you have no swelling and then you get dressed. That’s it. Oh, and they give you the extra plasma to take home to put into the fridge to use on your face at night over the next few weeks as with the vampire face lift. It’s definitely an added bonus and you get the 2 for the price of 1 treatment.
The O shot can take up to 6 weeks to be fully engaged. It’s been that long since my procedure. I have noticed an increase in my natural lubrication and a tightening of the vaginal opening. Given that reaching orgasm has never been an issue in the past I haven’t noticed any change. But there does seem to be an improvement in minor incontinence during exercise. I would certainly consider getting a second O shot a few months down the road to continue healing the urethra and to promote vaginal stimulation.

Read about Inovo Medical here and you may want to start the conversation for yourself.

The new O shot! A simple way to re-kindle women’s ability to achieve orgasms.

I had a great meeting with week with Dr. Belanger who runs Inovo Medical in Ottawa. He is one of the pioneers of plasma injected into the front of the G spot to promote orgasms. Its a very cool procedure.

It’s described as “The O Shot or Orgasm Shot is a specific way of utilizing the blood-derived growth factors found in Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP), harvested from a patient’s own blood and injected into the vagina, where the G spot lies.
The O-Shot is also designed for women who simply would like to reach vaginal orgasms faster, more intensely and multiple times in one session! If you only had orgasms from the clitoris, you may now be able to reach vaginal orgasms.”

That is a public service. Find the details your self here. It’s not cheap. A single shot is $700 but the results are immediate. And with freezing the discomfort is minimal according to the gynecological nurse I spoke to.
According to the discussion I had with the staff, the O-shot could also help women who are suffering from:

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (low desire)
Female Orgasmic Disorder (Difficulty reaching orgasm)
Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (Difficulty becoming aroused)
Dyspaneuria (Painful sex)
Vulvodynia such as lichen plan

I’m not certain about the libido issues, as a Sex Therapist I think libido is more complicated than a simple shot can resolve but it should help women who are struggling with inorgasmia (can’t climax!). It has also been proven effective at increasing natural lubrication for those women feeling as dry as the Sahara. I’m going to give it a try in the next few weeks. Stay tuned for the update from my G spot. Smile.

The 5 things you’ve never tried to give you an orgasm.

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I think an orgasm a day is great medicine. Forget apples (who needs the carbs) but orgasms keep the pipes clean, decrease pain and increase tolerance, lower blood pressure and give you a rush of good-feeling and positive mood endorphins. Every study goes on about how really good orgasms are for you.
So what happens if you can’t have one?

Besides gnashing your teeth and pulling your hair out you can try a few things that the medical literature suggests like lighting a candle, gentle vibration or increasing the amount of lube. Most of the time that kind of advice doesn’t work. So when it doesn’t, you might want to try these five ideas from your friendly neighborhood sex therapist.

1. Consider a clitoral hood piercing. Seriously. There is a study that suggested than women who have extra skin over their clitoris may have difficulty climaxing. Piercings increases the stimulation. I have more than empirical evidence in this area. I suggested it to one of my patients a few years ago and she called me on it. “Do you have one?” Ah no. So she dismissed the idea, and I found that I couldn’t let the challenge lie. A second article came out suggesting that one women with a clit piercing reached orgasm climbing stairs. I looked up a piercer in my town the next week. It’s not for the faint of heart but it does increase sensitivity. And no I don’t reach orgasm climbing stairs.

2. Orgasm creams including the scream cream. I have a friend who wants to be embalmed in the damn stuff. A mixture of herbs in a lubricant base that open up the blood flow in and around the clitoris which can really help you achieve the Big O.
Here are the details about Scream Cream:

Studies have reported that over 43% of women in North America experience little to no sexual satisfaction from clitoral orgasm and only 25% acheive orgasm with intercourse. In fact, according to the studies, numerous women between 18 and 80 do not even know what an orgasm is or how it is achieved.
Whether someone is multi-orgasmic or among the 43% of women who are sexually frustrated, any woman who desires maximum sexual fulfillment, greater intimacy, and enhanced relationships stands to benefit from regular use of Scream Cream.

Unlike the over-the-counter orgasm cream you buy at the sex store, Scream Cream packs a punch. Invented by my favourite pharmacist, Scott Watson at Watsons’s Pharmacy in Ottawa. I’m giving it to women along with a high end, high vibration toy (like a magic wand or intensity), scream cream is doubling the amount of women I’m able to offer suggestions that bring women to orgasm.

Scream cream contains a combination of prescription and non-prescription components described as blood flow enhancers and vasodilators. Each ½ gram dose contains Aminophylline 15-mg, Isosorbid dinitrate 1.25 mg, Ergoloid mesylate 0.25 mg, Pentoxifylline 25 mg, and L-Arginine 30-mg. Disolved in a water based hypoallergenic transdermal vehicle (think lube). The vehicle is designed to enhance the rate of absorption and to cause the medication to be retained locally in order to maximize local effects and metabolism while minimizing the potential side effects.

Use:
Scream cream should be applied directly to the clitoris (or the penis) at least 30 minutes prior to anticipated sexual relations and gently (or vigorously ) massaged in. The duration of effect ranges from 30 minutes to 2 hours and heightens both the ease of stimulation and intensity of orgasm.

Contraindications:
Patients with a history of sensitivity to any of the ingredients should not use this product. Patients with a history of genital herpes should use this product with caution as L-Arginine may facilitate the reproduction of the herpes virus.

Scream cream is packaged in 30 multi-dose tubes.

2 or 4% sildenafil
3% L’Arginine
5% Phentoxifylline

3. Intensity Vibrator. I love this new toy. It has what I call a shock pad that causes an electrical current to run through the toy and force the vaginal muscles to contract. All while stimulating your clit and hitting all the hot spots in your vagina.

4. The water pic. It’s a thing of beauty. Many, Many women have their first orgasms in the bathtub or using the hot tub, swimming pool jets. I like the new high speed water jet because you can use it exactly the way you want and no one is the wiser. You just use up all the hot water.

5. Clitoral suction. So if you’ve tried a knowledgeable partner who has gone down on you for over 40 minutes and nothing has still happened, you may need to try some suction. You sometimes see the devices in porn movies. Those are the things that look like oxygen masks but only for your vulva. You have a tube that pumps out the air and engorges the whole genital area. Blood flow across nerve endings triggers orgasms. The suction devices really, really increases the stimulation. Worth trying.
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The purveyor of the world’s most famous orgasm has died

You may have never heard of her before. But if you are a women between 25 and 60 you would have probably shed a tear during one of her movies. This is woman who got other women. Nora Ephron was Hollywood’s most influential woman writer/director (I was hard pressed to name another woman director), died yesterday in New York. She certainly had a life well lived. First married to Carl Bernstein of the Washington Post and Watergate fame, she wrote and directed Silkwood with Meryl Streep, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got out my Mail, and most recently Julie and Julia about the uber cool Julia Childs. She also wrote, produced and directed the definitive date movie of my generation “When Harry Met Sally” that forever answered the question “can men and women be friends?”

Nobody can forget the infamous faked orgasm scene done by Meg Ryan. It spawned thousand of bar contests (who can fake the best climax), and was so side splittingly funny because every woman had indeed faked an orgasm at one time or another. I asked my partner why there are so few women that have that level of success in the mass media. Ephron was incredibly talented and commercially lucrative who really got it and was ambitious enough to see the project to completion. To me she is one of the liberators of female sexuality by letting us laugh about our orgasms.
Hats off to you Nora Ephron, I’m going to fake a climax today in your honour.

Five new ways you probably haven’t tried to help you reach orgasm

Someone asked me this week about the most common sexual problems that I see in my office. Certainly low libido tops the list. 1 in 3, and 10% of men struggle with a decreased appetite for sex. Beyond sex drive challenges, issues around painful intercourse (dyspareunia, vaginismus and vulvadynia), the next common issue is challenges around reaching orgasm.

I offered up this list to three patients this week who have had trouble climaxing. Beyond a good vibrator (and I like the 110 volt massagers like the Hitachi Magic Wand, or the Wahl massagers), privacy, clearing your mind and a partner who knows how to use their tongue (along with fingers) what’s a woman to try in order to get there?

Here is my list:
1. Make sure it isn’t medication interfering. Birth Control pills, anti-depressants etc. interfere. Try the Elixir or Wellbutrin brands if you need your mood medication not to interfere with your sex drive.

2. Orgasm cream- I like the Pink, Kama Sutra, or Oh My brands of menthol and L’Arginine to open up blood vessels and help you climax.

3. Consider a clitoral hood piercing. I know it seems scary (and let me tell you it did hurt- but all is well). And yes I really do have one. If I can do it, you can too. They really increase the sensitivity.I don’t quite reach orgasm climbing stairs, but it helps get you there more quickly and easily. Write me at sue@sexwithsue.com of you want any more specifics as it’s not something I’m ready to blog about. But I’ll give you the skinny.

4. A new shower head. Most women can climax in the hot tub if they have the time and privacy. The shower head let’s you get there quickly. If you haven’t tried it $20 at Home Depot and you’re spending far, far more time in the bathtub.

5. The new Intensity vibrators. I love them. They have an electrical current that runs through them as you are being stimulated clitorally. It helps increase blood flow and tighten up the PC muscles. The effect is almost too intense, but the orgasms are powerful.

For men, the creams help, cooling the bedroom temperature helps, and adding a small amount of vibration behind your testicles (on against your prostate either outside or inside) helps as well. Let me know if you have any questions as most orgasm problems can be solved quickly, by phone, for less than the cost of getting your car repaired.

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Ps. Get more information about Sue’s experience and extensive knowledge at www.sexwithsue.com, and follow up with even more real life testimonials from people who have learned to give amazing squirting orgasms and are just like you!

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The 10 Quick Steps to Reaching a G-Spot Orgasm as described on the Sexapalooza stage.

Check the Sex with Sue Blog!

Sue reviews the top sexy vacation hotspots!

Sex toys – Reviews of the Top 15 best sex toys and devices.

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The top 10 steps for reaching a G Spot Orgasm by the #1 ranked book on actually step by step how to achieve a squirting, G spot orgasm

The 10 Quick Steps to Reaching a G-Spot Orgasm! Get the full details, and sign up for Gspot stories and newsletters by joining here:
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I’ll coach you, and give you all the cool tips to get you there and work with you and you’ll think you are a genius!

The G-Spot
The G-spot is defined as a cluster of nerve endings deep in the vaginal wall, the G-spot when stimulated, can produce an incredibly intense type of orgasm.

The world of sex research has been a buzz about this new discovery, since the G-spot was first described by Beverley Whipple at the annual convention of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality in 1980. Many women claim that reaching a G-spot orgasm has been the high point of their sexual lives.

Women who have not experienced the type of vaginal orgasmic response a G-spot orgasm produces often feel frustrated and left out, that they are somehow missing out on a secret so special that they must be doing something wrong. I have had many women speak to me of the intense Richter scale orgasms associated with G-spot stimulation. Other women who have never heard of the G-spot and the intense orgasms it produces feel ashamed or scared when they start “gushing” and get really aroused from vaginal stimulation.

I first became interested in discussing the G-spot and disseminating information about it when I spoke to a woman who had experienced these intense orgasms and who thought something was seriously wrong with her. She had been to her doctor discussing the volumes of fluid gushing out of her, living in fear of a life threatening illness or physical deformity associated with these sensations and fluid expulsion. The later part of Quivering Jello: How to Have Mind-Blowing, Toe Curling Orgams has stories from real-life people who have had these kinds of orgasms and suggestions for how you can reach one too.

Unfortunately, many physicians are unaware of the recent developments in G-spot research and are unable to alleviate the fears and concerns of their patients who experience this kind of sexual stimulation. In fact, some well-intentioned but seriously uninformed doctors have even encouraged women to have surgery to correct this “problem”. Producing fluid and having a mind-blowing orgasm from your vagina is not weird, or abnormal. It’s healthy, sexy and something every woman should have the right to experience without shame.

These women thought that they were urinating, that they were incontinent. Other women have been told by their doctors to just stop having orgasms and that would stop the fluid from coming out! Obviously, these doctors weren’t doing their own hands on sexual research to find out how amazing a G-Spot orgasm can be.

As a sex therapist, and (for more than ten years) the host of a call-in radio talk show about sexuality, I hear all kinds of questions and problems from women and their partners about how to reach the elusive G Spot orgasm. The material collected for this book has been the result of conversations with thousands of people as a therapist and a radio host, who tried new and unique things in the bedroom. There is a collection of letters further on in this book that offer real-life suggestions and strategies couples have tried in enhancing their lovemaking.

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This nerve center deep in the front wall of the vagina is about an inch and a half in, underneath the bladder. Don’t despair initially if you poke around and do not feel anything. One listener described the amount of pressure needed, as having to press hard enough to “pick his wife up with his fingers.” Very long fingers would then be needed to determine the position of the G-spot when lying on the back.

Many women I’ve spoken to find it easier to reach the G-spot if they “bare down” or push out with their genital muscles. Initially, the G-spot feels like a tender spot, and when the g-spot is continually stimulated then it feels like “you need to pee badly” (Carrie 27, listener) The G-spot is located just underneath the bladder, and this is a normal feeling that goes away in a moment if stimulation continues.

The key is that if you can push through this part, and keep on continuing after short pauses, the waves of orgasm start building in intensity.

Some, but not all women if the stimulation builds (especially if there has been a recent clitoral orgasm), or if the re is clitoral stimulation at the same time. My client Jennifer says it feels best if her partner makes a motion with her finger like a “come here” signal, that with enough pressure can bring her to a G-spot orgasm.

The Exact Spot

Let’s be really clear exactly where the G-spot is. It’s located roughly in the middle of the front wall of the vagina. One way to find the location of the spot is to pretend there is a clock in the vagina. If twelve o’clock is pointing to the navel, it is also indicating the position of the G-spot. The sensitive part of the spot is not exactly easy to find, being embedded deep in the vagina wall. So unlike the clitoris, this deep-seated cluster of nerve endings is not as obvious and as easy to find.

One listener suggested that if you could reach underneath the clitoris, from the inside that is where her G-spot would likely be situated.

If the G-spot is stimulated sufficiently, and the intensity is there, many women can have multiple orgasms one after the other. I had one women listener who wrote me saying she could see “colors exploding behind her closed eyes”, when she was having this kind of stimulation.

It was great to see you at Sexapalooza, and I look forward to sending you more free stuff!

Ten Tips

If the whole vulva was a clock, then the clitoris would be at 12:00. The G-spot would then between 11:00 and 1:00. Realize that this is deep stimulation near the back of the vagina, and on the actual spot – say half-way up the front wall.

Go into the vagina, feel under the curve of the pubic bone, then right after the bulge of the bone, directly under the “clock” or straight under the clitoris, along the ridge of the bone should be where the G-spot nerve endings start.

While offering clitoral stimulation (a mouth works best) use a hard “come here movement” at the spot. Stop if it gets too intense or if your hand gets tired but resume the stimulation. You can cheat by using a G-Spot vibrator that looks like a “J” to do some of the work inside. Don’t be afraid to use fairly firm pressure.

Try having your partner (if she’s not in a daze of Quivering Jello by now), press down on her lower abdomen. You are trying to get to deep seated nerve endings and pressing down helps.

Some women claim crunching their abdominal muscles – almost like doing a sit-up helps. Others find it easier, on their stomache with genitals in the air and having their partner going in from behind- pressing down works well.

Tickle gently the opening of the urethra. This is the tiny hole she “pees” out of just above her vagina. If she’s going to ejaculate – this is where it comes from.

If you can get a couple of fingers inside her vagina, try that –especially as your knuckles massage back and forth almost like the Queen “waving”.

A fuller bladder helps increase the sensation – so make sure you have lots of towels if she has one of those orgasms where she sees stars and releases lots of vaginal fluid. Intense stimulation on her clitoris (try a small clit vibrator) while working the G-spot spot seems to work well.

If it gets too intense, stop and start the stimulation. Most women need a number 30 second breaks or so on their way to orgasm. If it gets too crazy, stop for a moment before resuming the stimulation. You can handle more and more intensity as it builds towards a crushing orgasm.

Finally, it may take you a few weeks of trying this to finally get it. Stay with it, the work is fun and the payoff enormous. The female body can do amazing things- experiment with different kinds of stimulation, and soon G will be your favorite letter in the alphabet!!

Sue McGarvie – “Sex with Sue” www.sexwithsue.com
suem@rogers.com

The 10 Quick Steps to Reaching a G-Spot Orgasm .

Check the Sex with Sue Blog!

Sue reviews the top sexy vacation hotspots!

Sex toys – Reviews of the Top 15 best sex toys and devices.

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Questions and Answers – Trouble reaching orgasm with new partner

Questions and Answers

I Can’t Reach Orgasm With My New Partner
Sue,

I am 52 and have always been very active sexually with my husband. Recently we separated (my idea – just so you understand I am not pining) and I have a new relationship. For some reason I don’t seem to be able to climax with my new lover. I get very excited very quickly…I just need to start kissing him and I am wet and ready for him. But I can’t reach orgasm. I should tell you I am postmenopausal but on hormone replacement therapy.
Signed Help

Dear Help,

This sounds like a straight mechanical problem. For some reason certain people fit together better, and the position of pubic bone against your clitoris may have been more favorable with your previous partner. This would have caused you to reach orgasm more easily. Often times people who are similar height, and body shape seem to fit together better than people who differ in size and shape. Don’t sweat it however. You may just need a little help until your body figures out how to adapt to this new kind of stimulation.

If you are confident enough with him, try using a small finger-tip vibrator (Lady Calston has a great one at www.ladycalston.com), or a “raspberry,” a ring that goes around the penis with a soft ball on the end that stimulates you during intercourse. Being on top as well, with you controlling the depth of penetration, should also help you find that magical rhythm.

Sue

I Can’t Reach Orgasm With My New Partner

Sue,

I am 52 and have always been very active sexually with my husband. Recently we separated (my idea – just so you understand I am not pining) and I have a new relationship. For some reason I don’t seem to be able to climax with my new lover. I get very excited very quickly…I just need to start kissing him and I am wet and ready for him. But I can’t reach orgasm. I should tell you I am postmenopausal but on hormone replacement therapy.

Signed Help

Dear Help,

This sounds like a straight mechanical problem. For some reason certain people fit together better, and the position of pubic bone against your clitoris may have been more favorable with your previous partner. This would have caused you to reach orgasm more easily. Often times people who are similar height, and body shape seem to fit together better than people who differ in size and shape. Don’t sweat it however. You may just need a little help until your body figures out how to adapt to this new kind of stimulation.

If you are confident enough with him, try using a small finger-tip vibrator (Lady Calston has a great one at www.ladycalston.com), or a “raspberry,” a ring that goes around the penis with a soft ball on the end that stimulates you during intercourse. Being on top as well, with you controlling the depth of penetration, should also help you find that magical rhythm.

Sue

The secret of male multiple orgasms. Muscle control and a partner that is both tough and teasing.

Men and multiple orgasms – there are ways to experience it.

Men have long been jealous of the way women can have one orgasm after another (thank you, thank you very much!). The reality is that men can experience multiple orgasms provided they do some advance work on tightening and strengthening thier PC muscles. Those are the muscles that lie under the pelvis that control ejaculation. The truth is that ejacualtion and the sensation of orgasm come almost silmultaneously in men, but hey are seperate functions. If men can learn to hold onto the ejaculation, they can experience the peak feeling of orgasm again and again before they finally squirt. I am working on a video about hw specifically to do this, and have found the dominatrixes really adapt at teasing without "coming" and punishing their playmates who come early. This combination of the carrot and stick have worked well with premature ejacualtors and men learning to control thier sexual sensations.

Start with the basic keegal exercise. Pretend you are peeing, and then stop the flow and squeeze down. Follow that up by putting a wet facecloth over your erection and moving it up and down.

We'll get to prostate massage, pressure points and perineum stroking in future posts.