Category: Sex Toys

Valentine’s Day gifts for under $10! Be sexy but cheap!

I love these suggestions! I use (they give me loyalty points) and are inexpensive!

Under $10

· Romantic Rose Petals ($3.99) – It is Valentine’s Day after all, why not bring some romance into the bedroom tonight? Spread these romantic rose petals around your bed and set the tone for a passionate lovefest.

· Trojan Ultra Thin Condoms 3 Count ($5.99) – Safety first! Unless you’re more interested in getting a U Check Pregnancy Test…. ($4.99)

· Edible Crotchless Gummy Panties (5.99) – Your partner doesn’t need to be the only snack in the bedroom tonight. Turn yourself into a tasty treat with these yummy Edible Gummy Undies. These delicious candy undies are a sexy way to satisfy your lover’s sweet tooth, available in peach, strawberry and watermelon flavors.

· Fetish Fantasy Series Beginner’s Metal Cuffs ($5.99) – Hey, beginners all have to start somewhere right? These metal cuffs are perfect for bondage novices yet strong enough for even Houdini. The locking mechanism has a quick-release button in case you lose the key, and their sturdy design ensures they’re made to play hard.

· Ultimate Roll Bedroom Dice ($6.99) – Not sure how to spend Valentine’s night? Why not… roll the dice. In this game of chance, there are no losers. Dice Include: Foreplay Activities, Fun Props, Oral Sex Positions and Sex Positions.

· JO All in One Warming Massage Glide ($4.99) – It’s getting hot in here! Use this as a massage oil to get the party started, then use it as lube to conveniently slip into something more comfortable – like the person next to you. Plus, it warms as you use it, like a hot tub, in your hands… or pants!

The Hugo and why the prostate needs some stimulation


After the Father’s Day weekend I was reading about the money raised for prostate cancer research and was taken aback by the current Canadian statistics about men and their troubled prostates. It turns out that prostate cancer is the most common cancer among Canadian men (excluding non-melanoma skin cancers). It is the 3rd leading cause of death from cancer in men in Canada.

It is estimated that in 2016:
• 25,000 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer. And close to 5,000 Canadian men will die of prostate cancer this year.
We have a family friend of twenty years who is six weeks post-surgery to remove a particularly aggressive form of prostate cancer. As he said in his usual off the cuff way, “the prostate is a small organ that most men don’t pay nearly enough attention to until it bites them in the ass”.

The truth is that if men live long enough they will all have problems with their prostate. Most men have an enlargement of their prostate as they age (no one is really sure why) and pound for pound the prostate can hold the most toxins in the body. A number of years ago I was at a urology convention and went to a lecture on prostate cancer prevention. I’m usually frustrated at urology conventions because urologists are so focused on the penis and surrounding tissues they often forget to look at the actual person. But this particular lecture was memorable. For preventing prostate cancer most of the advice was what you would expect. Eat well, exercise regularly, get both blood (PSA) and digital (the rubber glove check) tests. The lecture also emphasized the importance of weekly ejaculations. There is a very strong correlation between an increase in prostate cancer and men who don’t ejaculate. It goes back to “keeping those pipes clean” and getting rid of the toxins. I often write prescriptions that say “must masturbate more”. During the urology lecture there was a much older East Indian urologist who commented that he was taught to offer prostate massage (as part of his residency in India) for men with an enlarged prostate. He said he had rarely heard of prostate stimulation mentioned as a possible tool to help with prostate troubles in North America.

I know how much men hate the dreaded “ bend-over-and-cough” prostate exam by their doctors. I can’t imagine my partner willingly letting an elderly urologist massage his prostate.
Fortunately, there is an easier way.

Lelo the Swedish toy company has come up with an outstanding prostate stimulator. It’s called The Hugo, and it’s this slick, black toy that is easily inserted and vibrates directly on the prostate. I’m sure they did lots of design research, as it is the perfect size, shape and intensity to give the prostate an immediate “wow”. Lelo is known for their research. Getting feedback from actual users is what differentiates a great toy company. It is a wonderful toy to help with anal sex (for both men and women). I spoke with a woman who borrowed her husband’s Hugo to help relax herself before anal sex. It is an ass toy and it is easy to insert.
My favourite feature is the separate remote control that comes with the Hugo. That way you can change the settings and speed of the vibrations in your partner’s rectum while having your feet up. The range in surprisingly far. That means you can control the type of stimulation from the other side of the room if necessary. That certainly appeals to any partner’s dominant nature.

There are many men that are curious about prostate stimulation but hesitate. They worry about being clean enough (something women understand) but also stress about it being “unmanly”. There is certainly lots of baggage in the North American culture about ass play and male-receptive penetration. As Charlie Glickman says in his book “ The Ultimate Guide to prostate Pleasure”, “If finding the prostate didn’t involve going up his ass, it probably would not be so much of an issue- it would be viewed as no different from playing with any other part of the male equipment. Especially as prostate massage can be viewed as both stimulating and healthful.”

So if you are concerned about your prostate, want to play with it (or your partner’s prostate) then I encourage you to go for it. The research is fairly conclusive that massaging that walnut shaped gland between your testicles and your anus will help prevent prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) or even prostate cancer. It also might feel particularly good. No matter what knowing about those squishy boy parts is a public service. So next time you are online or at your local sex shop have a look at the Hugo and add it to your wish list. Remember it’s good for you.

How to get rid of the late winter blues. Sex toys!

Okay, having been a sex educator, therapist, radio and television talk show host, and sex shop chain owner, I’ve seen ‘em all. All the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional romance products, batteries sometimes included.

With two trips to the far east to see the huge manufacturing plants in off shore China, and Hong Kong, a visit to the California Doc Johnson football field-like warehouses and having attended to Vegas new product and AVN shows, as well as speaking and interviewing the most diverse group of owners, inventors, purveyors, and users of these toys I’ve amassed the definitive list of great –must have products. These are the toys for every person who wants a good toy, but who’s idea of sex doesn’t include a 9 volt battery, a chicken feather, a Little Bo Peep costume in men’s XL and a vat of gelatin. I’ve been called – the “sometimes silly, soccer Mom of sex”, and one hell of a therapist.” Take it for what it’s worth, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I know a lot about adult toys.

This site also gives you a list of inexpensive, toys you can put together from the grocery store and your local hardware store to have THE toy box of tricks. There is a lot of junk out there. Products made with the cheapest of toxic plastic (read the article about poisons in many of these toys) and sold for a huge mark up without explaining the benefits, the risks, the cleaners, and why these are good for you (your partner and will leave you squirming with delight).

I only sell these Sue recommended products. I guarantee all of them, will send you a free e-mail download code to get the audio “ listen to” MP3 stories and fun suggestions that will leave you knowing all the tricks, and can be used as a fun bedtime story with your partner….

I’ve got audio interviews with Dell Williams of EG, Darryl Brown of Calston , and Serenity of AVN in my listen to Sue section, and have all of their recommendations. I’ve interviewed my staff, patients, listeners, and friends give their recommendations of the best products on the market. Finally, some celebrity comments round out the things you need to know about sexual products and why the enclosed list is all that you need to satisfy any non-deviant desires.

The stuff I affectionately refer to as the weird and the wonderful (think serious bondage, and alternative sexual experimentation) won’t be found on this site. I will get you the top product in each category that you need to be the satisfied and experimental person you’ve always wanted to be. So if you are looking for products, here are the few best products I stand behind and will get to you quickly, discreetly, with my utmost respect.

bunnyjuiceSo here they are….

1. Great finger vibe FK 9000
This was the “sex toy of the year” in 2003, and have been going through evolutions ever since. Small, quite, with this cool pouch (complete with belt loop!!!!) so you can pretend it’s a cell phone for those emergency work days. Possibly the world’s smallest vibrator (actually it isn’t, but you could say “possibly”). It fits on your finger and provides an amazing tease. These finger mounted sex toys have an incredible 9000 vibrations per minute. Yeah!. It is entirely wireless and little clips to hold it securely on your finger. It also comes with extra batteries. Great for external clitoral or prostate (P spot) stimulation. The only downside to these toys is that these little batteries, while great for specific stimulation, making it small and convenient, don’t pack the serious power of some of the bigger toys. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll get off, but if you are the give-me-the-power-turn-it-up-to-11 kind of person these little sweeties may not have the torque you need.

I like the new Bunnyjuice samplers. There are his and hers packages with cockrings, bullets, a tenga egg, condoms and lube. Small, discreet and cute. Great for an inexpensive Easter gift. Called love kits and retailing for $19.99. They have a great site and the kits make a great starting point for beginners.

2. The Amazing, Stupendous Rabbit

And speaking of Easter….
Immortalized forever on Sex in the City, (this is the one that Charlotte bought and then stopped leaving the house, and Miranda and Carey had to do a Rabbit intervention after finding her disheveled and completely satisfied), This is a great, wonderful, must-have, incredible toy that you buy for yourself or for any woman in your life, -think bridal shower, sister’s birthday, grumpy boss, whomever…. Lot ‘s of guys claim to be jealous that they can’t move like that. I say that it means less work for the guys, and if you’re a smart guy, you get her close with the Rabbit , and then come in for the finish and end up a hero. Besides what else are we to do during hunting season, the World Series, and business trips??? These vibrators have a penis head and a bulge in the middle with Wiggly moving pearls inside. They work inside and out. The Twisting and vibration of these vibrators can be changed by the controls on the base. The branch stimulates the clitoris and you end up singing Ava Maria. Takes 4 AA batteries, that should be removed between usage to keep it at top power.

3. Diving Double Dolphin
One of the togetherness toys for heterosexual couples, that is the great equalizer when it comes to climaxing together. With the possible exception of the Rabbit, was the thing we were least likely to keep on our shelves at The Love and Romance Stores. It has a whole in the middle that slides down to the base of the penis a happy little nose that says a big Hi to the clitoris when lined up, and a flippy tail that offers up both participants perineum ( or the “taint”) stimulation. With over 70% of women incapable of climaxing during intercourse as the clit sits up high forgotten and neglected, this little number makes it all the humping and pumping worthwhile.
4. The Egg and Dual Bullets Combo
This is the toy that if your Mom finds in your sock drawer, she won’t know that it’s actually for putting a smile on your face. They’ll never get in the way, but they’ll take you all the way! Most sex toys don’t even compare to this one but you get two together, they fit in, on or around every orifice in your body. The universal shape, can put it inside, outside, against the head of the penis, nipples, and in combination against the testicles, it’s great alone, but it’s real beauty is as a tandem toy. Think two for the price of one- this is a great starter toy.
5. Waterproof Jelly G – Spot
Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.
6. Senso – (Pretend Blue Squishy Vagina)
This is a great pretend artificial vagina. It’s considered one of the 7 wonders of the world for the guys who have tried it. Perfect for business trips (you can then use it for phone sex and stay connected), it doesn’t trip the metal detector, and fits snuggly in your hand, and around other more protruding parts. It might not look like much, the shape isn’t quite inviting, but I have it on great authority, it feels sooooo great. It is not vibrating, but it will give you a much better sensation than the cheap vibrating models. With thousands of different toys for women, the ones for men all resemble a tube and a whole. This and the Fleshlight are the top of the line.

Bunnyjuice smaplers. They are his and her packages with

7. Fleshlight 2
Okay, this is the toy you can hide in your “toolbox” and know one will be the wiser. Well constructed, well made and with a great hook on that tube and hole thing, With the lid on, this discreet male masturbation toy resembles an over sized flashlight, but twist the lid off and a sumptuous pink mouth appears. These are so cool. If I had a penis, I would want one of these. Makes a great gift for the handyman in your life.
8. Moist Silicone Lubricant 8 oz.
The slipperiest of lubricants. As any silicone based lubricant, it is not recommended for use with silicone toys. Good for any other kinds of tubes of in case of any other friction based emergency. Silicone lubricants can however be safely used with condoms or any other material toys. They do not dry out like water based lubes, but they are a bit harder to clean off. These can stay slick up to eight hours in a hot tub, and I once dropped a bottle of this on a pine floor and skated on the spot for weeks.
9. Pro touch Plug and Little Zinger combo
Okay, there’s a lot more to anal sex than in, out, repeat if necessary. A well made, gentle plug (with a good base that won’t get sucked up into your neither regions), these two plugs helps you turn the curve of your inner anal regions into a relaxed and erotic space. This combo, is an ingenious silicone plug with removable vibrator (for dreamy prostate stimulation), and a little red easy to start and hold and pull out at just the right moment. Grab some anal ease, and you’re in business.
10. Sweetheart Vibrator with Power panties
Endorsed by Angelina Jolie (Newswire, Nov. 23, 2005). What more do I need to say? She apparently walks around with her panties vibrating keeping her at a low level of arousal. I guess she has to do something with Brad away. The small two inch cushioned soft jelly (read –easy to clean), heart holds a removable variable speed Zippy Vibe that delivers strong clitoral stimulation. These fit into a little pair of panties(one size), or you can these comfortable, innovative, adjustable leg straps that slide over the thighs and hold the Sweet Heart snugly over the clitoris if you are more than a Barbie doll size, or want to go without. These products give a whole new way to make boring activities such as housework housework
11 . Oh My Cheesecake and Coffee Lubes
Lube is your friend. No matter what your age or situation, lube keeps everyone slippery, comfortable, and makes good sex better. Made with hemp, grown in the wilds of British Columbia ( I have it on good authority that they grow lots of hemp out there), this stuff actually heals delicate tissues. I believe that if you are going to use a lube (and all women need a water based product so they don’t get bunged up), you might as well use a flavoured lube in case it gets in your mouth and you are stuck with that yucky lube taste.

With flavours like Pina Colada, Strawberry and Blueberry Cheesecake, and my personal favourite, low-fat decaf cappachino this is the best lube in the world…

12. Hitachi Magic Wand
The most popular electric vibrator on the market is the Hitachi Magic Wand. It resembles my favourite, an old Phillips Beauty Set “massager” that still ranks right up there. Those plug in toys are fantastic, powerful and almost indestructible except in case of power outages. At least you don’t have to worry about running out of batteries. Electric vibrators deliver the strongest, most unrelenting vibrations available. The stimulation produced is so strong that many women like to diffuse the vibration through a pillow or towel. But for those of you out there who desire strong direct clitoral stimulation, these will not disappoint. Use this vibe on your clitoris, vagina, anus or where ever it feels good. This is the BMW of sex toys. Functional, and such a workhorse. Men who know power tools love the magic Wand.
Considered the essential toy for anybody looking for serious power, the Hitachi Magic Wand has been the yard stick for years by which all other toys are measured. A foot long handle that allows you to do acrobatics and even use it on sore muscles other than the ones between your legs, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a plug in toy so you don’t have to worry about your batteries dying during a critical moment. Made with sturdy Japanese motors it comes complete with a heavy duty rounded head, The Magic Wand will bring out orgasm after orgasm, even if you’ve had difficulty in the past. This is a long-life toy investment, and well worth every penny.
13. Allura
The big breakthrough for women’s orgasms that happened in the last few years, this is the first, and I think the best, of the tingling orgasm creams. I call it the great equalizer, meaning if you have trouble reaching orgasm and have to practically sacrifice a chicken to get there, these creams open up the blood flow and can help a hard-to-get-there-girl over the top. For those of us who orgasm with little encouragement (practically just by thinking about Johnny Depp), it gives you a pleasant stimulation, but doesn’t put you over the top. What makes Viagra work is nitric oxide, a by-product of L-arginine. It’s also one of the main ingredients in Allura, and is safe and effective, and along with menthol (the other big ingredient), Allura definitely increases the blood rushing to your vulva. I have a friend who wants to be embalmed in the stuff.
15. Tongue
Considered by Playboy to be one of the most orgasmic and successful erotic toy ever made. Redbook magazine calls it the #1 sex toy in the world and it’s designed by and made by a woman after exhaustive research who understood what women really wanted from a bedroom toy. The Tongue, is a life-like, soft and flexible toy of amazing strength, that looks like a large tongue. Different than other toys in that it doesn’t vibrate, it actually moves like a tongue, undulating back and forth to give you a unbelievable sensation that is unique only to The Tongue. It goes from slow to Ohhhhhh in one flick. The Tongue can be use either with batteries, or with any regular adapter for never fail use. The five speeds can build to a ferocious pace with a never tiring, never changing massage and rhythm. For any woman with a preference for straight up oral stimulation, The Tongue is magic with a little lube, and is great for insuring strong, consistent orgasms.
  • The Night Cage – This is the perfect product for men on your list who like to jumped at any and every opportunity, and for the partners who like to be in control. It’s a full service cock ring that you can wear under your clothes, while you sleep or to give your partner the rock hard penetration that they are looking for. The magnets increase circulation, draws the blood in and holds it there, and the external nubs hits all the right nerve endings. Gives you an extra half inch of fullness that feels really wonderful to your partner, but doesn’t diminish your own sensations as so many rings and penile splints do. Perfect for wild weekends or for men who are looking for a little extra firmness.
  • Strawberries and Cream – This is the togetherness toy for the majority of couples who’s female partners need clitoral stimulation during intercourse in order to climax. A soft jelly ring gets inserted on the down the penile shaft to the base, and then the attached vibrating knob sitting above the penis will press and vibrate against the clitoris during intercourse. It’s quiet so it doesn’t distract, and will be everything you need in order to climax together or regularly during intercourse which is the wish for most couples. But if you a working solo, Strawberries and Cream comes with a five inch multi speed vibrator that can fit where the penis would, and fully adjustable and removable straps can leave you hands free to act out the type of stimulation that you uniquely want. I’ve heard reports that either way is great, but Strawberries and Cream is the secret weapon that many couples use to bring them together in the bedroom.
  • Clit Seducer – A unique product that has never been replicated, but uses you mouth suction to deliver stimulation without needing to be double jointed. A soft cup that you can place over a desired area such as your clitoris, nipple or head of the penis and along with a great variable speed vibrator, you get a PVC tube that you can put in your mouth ( or anybody willing to play along) and you give the added warmth and suction you need to go completely over the top. Guaranteed to enlarge your nipples and clitoris with use, this is an all purpose toy and one you should try if you ever feel that you’ve tried all there is in the area of adult toys. A must-have toy for the discriminating consumer.
  • Tickling Bra – It has been proven that some women go absolutely wild for nipple stimulation. If you are one of the many who can’t get enough attention to your breasts, than the Tickling Bra is for you. Think of it as little vibrators pressed into flat pads that can be concealed in you bra, and the adjustable, removable straps, make for comfortable, invisible support. Quiet, and with a sucking motion this toy makes padded bras seem like your best friend. For any woman who turns to Jell-O with nipple play, there is no other product like the Tickling Bra that can put you in charge of the kind, amount and speed of stimulation anytime and anywhere.
  • Jurassic Jewel– This toy acts in much the same way as a strand of Asian anal beads by using incremental balls along a shaft to hit all the anal nerve endings only these jewels are warmer, gentler, easier to insert, simple to clean and come with vibration just where you need it. According to Masters and Johnson “a large number of heterosexual couples incorporate some variety of anal stimulation into their sexual play…as it can be highly arousing and lead to male and female orgasms.” This toy works for both partners (it is especially powerful against the male prostate gland), and because the jelly is so easy to sterilize, and the small diameter tip is easy for beginner or more experienced use, which is why it’s so popular. If that’s not enough, the vibrating bullet can be inserted or removed, which is great if both partners want to be on the receiving end simultaneously or if you want to offer clitoral or penile shaft stimulation while working in the anal region and send your partner over the top.
  • Virginia Slims – A long, slim hollow vibrating dong that comes complete with the ever popular and versatile bullet that can be inserted anywhere along the shaft for vibration where you want it. This eight inches is a woman’s favourite, great for small openings (both anal and vaginal) and can change from a vibrator to a straight dong just by moving the bullet. Virginia Slims is soft, slippery and slender. No more wishing the vibration strength was somewhere else, if you need a certain type of stimulation in order to reach orgasm.
  • Wave Runner – This super stimulating curvy vibrator that fits the vaginal contours like a glove, is a huge seven and a half inches of soft, slippery firmness. The great thing about it is that it grows wider as it goes deeper. Finger holds in the base make it easy to grasp and the powerful vibrator with variable speed control that can go from soft to Oh-My-God with a slight flick, this toy is the one for anybody that likes it harder, faster, deeper, and fuller with a fit that you have never experienced with a straight shaft.
  • Stubby’s – Vibrating 4 and ½ playtoy looks so cute, but they are truly effective. When you need fullness and not depth, these toys leave you feeling full but put no pressure on you cervix. Complete with testicles, these toys are great as an anal teaser but are easy to hold and firm enough to put constant stimulation on the clitoris and the vaginal opening where you really need it. These toys are lifelike, and for those who prefer wide to ling, this is the toy for you.

What’s new in Sex! 6 Things to try that you probably haven’t attempted in the bedroom.

new3Its hard to find new ideas in sex. Face it, we’ve had the same equipment since we started walking upright. If you’ve read anything I’ve written before then you know how often I preach about the importance of keeping things spicy.
With a 51% divorce rate in North America, it takes real effort to maintain the magic of relationships. Trying new things in the bedroom is one of those key things.
So what’s new?

Glass Ben Wa balls
I love all glass toys. They heat up, they glide beautifully and the look elegant. What they also do is allow you (or your partner) to really take your time. Unlike vibrating toys, glass (or stainless steel) lets you settle in for a long, slow gradual build up. Immerse them in warm water and use them gently in and out of any orifice and feel the tension build. What the glass ben wa balls do is stimulate internally. The glass has a very interesting sensation. Ben wa balls have been made famous in the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. Holding balls vaginally for women increases your muscle tone and helps your orgasm improve. They also get your juices flowing. Put them in and go walk the dog. I guarantee you’ll take the short way home.

Grapefruit blow job
You may have heard about it. Auntie Angel, a sex technique expert from Chicago invented a process fro using a hollowed out grapefruit in lieu of your hand when giving a blowjob. Angel says you need need to blindfold your partner, lie him down on a towel and turn a room-temperature grapefruit into a sex sleeve. Apparently grapefruit feels like oral sex and intercourse at the same time. Angel goes on to say that grapefruit is a fat burner, so you can lose weight while your are preforming oral sex. The only downside can be a slight burning on the urethra (I suggest some vaseline on the tip), and the need for an aggressive shampooing afterwards to get the grapefruit pulp out of his pubic hair (another reason to manscape). Forget kleenex boxes full of hand cream, or even the fleshlight, grapefruit blowjobs are the new milestone.
Watch Auntie Angel explain it here.

Clitoral and nipple pumps
These are the pumps you see in porn videos. The pump draws blood into the genitals and the nipples and causes engorgement. With proper use, you can enlarge and stimulate your clitoris using a high-tech vacuum pump. It utilizes the same concept as traditional penis pumps, and it feels good. These cylinders can also be used to create great stimulation or punishment with higher pressure levels. They engorge your nipples and make them extra sensitive. I recommend you spend the extra money and get the metal pump with the gauge. For both you are looking at close to $175 but I think they really work.

Make your own edible underwear
Really. The store bought ones are really gross licorice that stain your teeth. It’s basically homemade fruit roll ups cut out in an underwear pattern. I rarely wear underwear, but if I did I think the apple ones are super cool. Here are the instructions:
Things You’ll Need

1 bag of apples
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
Large pot
Cooking spray

Baking sheet
Plastic wrap
Kitchen scissors

Make Apple Fruit Leather

Start by peeling a bunch of apples and place them in a large stock pot. Add water and boil until it looks like apple sauce. You can add a bit of sugar (1 cup) to make it taste sweet. Simmer for 45 minutes. Spray your baking sheets with cooking spray and spread the contents of the pot onto the sheets. Cook in a dehydrator or on a baking sheet in the oven at 150 degrees for 8 to 10 hours. I know it’s a long time to dry at low heat. Lay out your apple leather on plastic wrap to prevent it from sticking to your countertops. Lay another piece of plastic wrap over the top to keep it clean until your ready cut it.

Cut Your Pattern
Find an underwear pattern by using an old pair, finding a pattern online or at a local fabric store. Line up your underwear pieces and use the pointed end of a chopstick to poke holes in both sides of the edible underwear.
Weave licorice through the holes in the edible underwear to “sew” it together.
Wear and watch the reaction.

Erogenous Zones Sheet
My husband and I use this activity during our couples activities. We put up a large sheet and outline both the front and back of the body. Without looking at each others papers, mark the areas on the body where you think your sweetie likes (and the type, intensity) where they want to be touched. See how close you are to the truth. It allows for discussion and possible experimentation.

Make a couples photo album
Sex takes in all the senses, but none is more powerful than sight. Men especially are visual. Make a sexy couples photo album. Print out some pictures from your phone, pull up some great shots of the two of you when you were just meeting, and add a few sexy shots for their eyes only. What that does is bring back those feelings of falling in love. It gets you excited about making new memories together and really makes you feel like a couple. It will lead to feelings of connection and before you know it, you’re naked.

new pic

8 tips for spicing things up!

spicing1Tips to keep things hot
It’s the #1 question I get from women over 30. I get constantly asked how to spice up relationships without stepping on landmines. For many people, the thought of having repetitive identical sex with the same partner for the next 30 years causes a decrease in libido, and has couples feeling shut down. I do a workshop with my husband we call “The Loving Hedonist”. It’s all about what’s new in sex. The seminars cover topics such as stepping out of your comfort zone, learning what really turns you on and how express your fantasies and desires safely. More importantly, it’s about understanding that adding creativity in the bedroom is one of the top three things you can do to stem off your chance of becoming one of the 51% of Canadians that divorce. The other two involve communication without stonewalling or contempt, and enhancing bonds of friendship and similar interests.

But what can you do today to spice up your intimacy?

Here is a list of eight suggestions that really work. Pick one and try it this week. Your relationship needs that kind of thought and effort.
1. Have an affair with your partner. Find a motel or hotel that charges by the half day. (Even if they are the kind where you have to pack your own towels) and set up the rendezvous. Or surprise your partner with a lunch date where you can fit in a nooner. Spontaneous sex and different locations are what most people list as memorable when I ask them about the best sex of their lives.

2. Boudoir pictures. Most people (especially men) are stimulated visually. Well done erotic photos pack a huge punch. Either hire a photographer (there are even boudoir groupons) or get a friend to take your photos. Forget the selfies, they never seem to turn out.

3. Have an imaginary threesome. Here are the rules. Sometimes called “monogamish”. Each of you picks out an anonymous person. Someone famous or maybe a server at the restaurant you frequent, but nobody you know well. Discuss together in bed what would happen if the three of you were to get together sexually. Next time select a different person.

4. Go through one of the online toy sites together. I like but Amazon has some cheap toys too, as they are both easy to navigate. Find something you both like and order it. The fun can be in the deferred gratification of waiting for the plain, brown package to arrive.

5. Act out a movie scene. Pick a movie that gets your juices racing. 50 Shades of Grey, 9 and ½ weeks or even Pride and Prejudice. Whatever works. You may start giggling but knowing what you like and taking a risk with your sweetie can make it very sexy.

6. Compete with your partner. Pitting yourself against your sweetie can boost your serotonin, attraction and chemistry. Your brain interprets that rush of adrenaline during games as connection to your partner. Anything that boosts your adrenaline bonds you as a couple. I like to suggest crazy things like bungee jumping, whitewater rafting, or sports bets. Even board games work. You can alter a basic jenga game to have blocks that read things like “kiss your partner on an interesting part of their body…”.

7. Try some light bondage. Use a simple cloth tie or try a pillowcase to immobilize them. Have your partner put their arms behind their back in an empty pillowcase and then lie back on the bed. Their body weight will hold their arms in place and allow them easy escape if desired while you touch them all over. If that doesn’t work I have a suggestion for cheap rope tricks that might get their attention.

8. I think those dollar store plastic drop sheets or shower curtains should be in everyone’s toy box. They keep your bed sheets protected while you cover your partner in oil, chocolate sauce, or whipped cream. Use your partner’s body as a base to make a sundae (or any other kind of dessert) as a treat. Then eat the treat without the use of hands.

Consider coming to one of my weekend or four week courses. Investing in your relationship and your sex life pays the best dividends. Check out the Duckling page for activities.

The 12 days of the best sexy Christmas ideas for your sweetie.

This sexy Christmas list started because every year my brother would call me in a panic a couple of days before Christmas. He had no idea what to get my sister-in-law that was personal and intimate. He expected me to know what was hot in the area of sensuous and romantic gifts each holiday season. My bro knew he would be in the doghouse if there wasn’t at least one thing that said sexy and “I love you” under the tree. And then he wanted me to acquire it, wrap it and get it to him before the 24th.
It turns out my sibling is not the only one needing a list of flirty items for a sweetie for the holidays. This is my fifth annual list of the best and brightest in romance items that you might want to make sure ends up being delivered to good but naughty boys and girls.
1) Lelo- It’s Swedish for OMG. The brand has lots of no nonsense engineering and delivers consistent quality in their toys. They aren’t cheap but they are rechargeable and made with high quality silicone. One of my favourites right now is the Ora which actually emulates oral sex. I kid you not. I also love the new Luna Smart Bead that has a computer chip inside that is designed to measures your orgasm-potential and sets a routine that’s specific for you. I found that the patients of mine who tried it had a much more powerful orgasm.
2) The new 50 shades of Grey beaded blindfold. You can use his necktie, or a cashmere scarf around your eyes as a makeshift blindfold, but the new 50 Shades of Grey kits are out for the holidays. You can pretend to be the book heroine Anastasia Steele and have your sensory deprivation done with utmost elegance. There are blindfolds that range from $10 to $200, and they really are a step up from the plaid scarf you have lying around. The 50 Shades kit tends to hover around the $60 mark. With this beaded blindfolded and a little bit of silk rope, you’ll be living the story that had women around the world moaning.
3) Speaking of 50 Shades, I love the very gentle deerskin and leather floggers made by the Montreal based Artisan Whip maker Ms. V. The floggers make that lovely thwack sound but don’t really hurt- even with a serious backswing. They are well made, weighted, and very interesting. Check them out at
4) We Vibe- Standard Innovation, the maker of the We Vibe, is the Ottawa company who put Canada on the map when it comes to sex toys. The We Vibe line has been consistently pioneering new technology. They established themselves with the classic “C” shaped couples’ toy but I love their Tango vibrator. The Tango is small, finger shaped, rechargeable, and versatile and I think it’s the best product for people looking for a first toy. It fits in my lipstick container. Just saying….
5) Pantygram. When a greeting card just won’t do, tell your guy how you really feel about him with a Pantygram. Imagine his face when he opens up a black envelope to find an anonymous pair of heart-shaped red panties inside! ($24.95 at I think they are a riot. If you want to do 12 sexy days of Christmas it can start with a holiday message that will capture his imagination.

6) The Booty Parlour chocolate cinnamon massage candle. It smells a bit like Christmas. Actually it smells fantastic. The candle melts the wax which doubles as massage oil that you drizzle on your partner. You get the added benefit of giving them a bit of a jolt when you pour warm oil all over a willing body. It’s the all in one thing you need to pack if you are doing a night at a hotel this holiday.
7)Fun Factory – Is a playful German line that is known for its durability. They have a few new creations that are called smart toys. The high tech toy called STRONIC EINS may be my new best friend. It thrusts and pulsates instead of vibrates. That’s great for women who get desensitized easily, or who want something completely different.
8) The new Temptress style cut out lace corset in pink and black from Victoria Secret is elegant, slimming and will turn any woman into a stone, cold fox. It is a great style from Victoria Secret and unlike some of their lingerie, it actually looks like it could hold up a real pair of boobs. How refreshing. I also like the collection of padded, butt enhancing underwear for men from Fresh pair. It makes your ass your best feature and almost screams out to be pinched.
9) The Intensity vibrator by Pour Moi touts itself as the toy for pelvic health and wellness. It’s been out for a couple of years now and it is the only toy that I can’t leave home without. It not only has the typical clitoral stimulator, but it has what I call “shocker pads” that run a current through the large muscles of the vagina which causes contractions. Pelvic floor muscles contract during orgasm, and the stronger the contraction, the more intense the orgasm. It exercises while it pleases. It runs over $200 but for the girl who has everything this holiday, it is worth checking out.

10) The Nice Girl’s Guide to Talking Dirty is a try-this-at-home sexy talk script that you can use on your partner for a little aural sex. You can fill in the blanks with your individual preferences and make the scenario very personal. I like the confidence-boosting exercises as they teach you how to be playful and use your words in a very creative way.

11) While Cards against Humanity may be the popular game this holiday for time spent with irreverent friends, my favorite game for a romantic partner is the Sexy Truth or Dare pick up sticks. They are meant to be pulled one at a time. One side reveals a sexy truth, and the other a naughty dare. They are simple, fun and creative. A great stocking stuffer.

12) Finally, for something completely different have a look at the new Hello Touch by Jimmy Jane. This toy is really quite revolutionary. The toy is simply feather-light vibrating pads that attach to your fingertips. The pads also attach to a small wrist motor. That means that simply a light touch can cause an orgasm. This is a versatile toy because men find it very interesting as well.
So which one of the colourful new toys should you be asking for from Santa? I think you should have all of them, but I’m greedy.
So forget the five golden rings and encourage your stocking to be filled with gifts that really give. I promise that you’ll ring in the New Year with a smile on your face.

How to make your own inexpensive, try-this-at-home sex toy kit that will leave your partner gasping

I think everyone should have a tickle trunk of interesting sensation play sex things that’s locked up away from the kids. Now since most of the world is on a budget, and because I love toys that are versatile and do lots of things I thought I would make up a fun kit suggestion list. So when I googled any variation on “make your own sex kit” I only got hits like:

Clone your willy – how to make a cast of your penis. I also found loads of online sex toy companies trying to sell you a huge amount of stuff that hasn’t stood up to real life play. Now making a cast of your penis and your own home-made sex toy is cool (and is something I would do before any guy has prostate surgery) but it wasn’t the tone I was going for to create my kit list. I also think you don’t need to have lots of expensive toys in it. Yes, I think the Hitachi Magic Wand at $80 rocks, and I love my $200 Intensity shocker vibrator, but many of the best toys available can be found at Canadian Tire or other hardware stores. Blaik, my love, has a particular fondness for pillow cases. Put your arms behind your back, slide a pillow case over both arms and lie back. He then challenges you to get your arms out. Great restraint you can get out of by rolling over (if your partner lets you) and you already have access to one on the bed.

So before hitting the sex shop, how about trying the office supply store, hardware and grocery stores? Yes, I put things from the sex shop on the list, but I would start with some inexpensive sensation play toys.
Here’s my list:

My sweetie found 200 feet of rope for $15 at Rona Hardware store recently. He measured it all out and cut it in chunks of 10, 15, 25, and 40 foot sections. He put electrical tape on the ends and I found him a lingerie bag to hold it all and to wash it in. Take a rope class, or watch a few youtube videos about rope bondage and with minimal practice and you’ll soon be a restraint expert. Invest in a sharp pair of scissors ($7) to add to the kit for rope malfunctions and safety.

You can use a scarf, a serviceable sleeping mask or one of the cheap blindfolds you are given on long flights from the airlines. Maybe invest in a brilliant leather one…. blindfolds are the bomb. Covering your partner’s eyes so that they won’t see what’s coming up next can be a monstrous turn on. Most sex shops have them in a reasonable price range from $10 to $40.

Massage bar or soap crayon:
I like these solid massage bars that turn into a liquid when they get warm from body heat. In different flavours and scents, they look like bars of soap you gently run over your partner’s body. They leave a lotion behind that you can use to complete the massage. They are especially great before you take a bath together. And speaking of baths, the soap crayon that they sell for kids (I have seen them at Tiggy’s and other great kids stores) can be used in the bathtub to write on your partners skin and leave sexy messages while getting them clean are fabulous! Some come with bubble bath so the bath can digress into something more romantic. Great colours are available, and the darker colours will really help you leave love messages.

Washable markers:
Unlike some of the groups that uses permanent markers to write out the naughty words you see across people’s bodies on the kink sites, a set of washable markers in multiple colours to write love notes on your partner’s body may be just the thing before the aforementioned bubble bath.

Duct Tape:
Duct tape isn’t all grey anymore. Duct tape can be used to restrain legs and arms, to bind a lover to furniture, or as a gag. Of course it provides an added sadomasochistic thrill when it is pulled free (with attached body hair!). Oh, and let’s not forget the Duct Tape Corset again which you can see on youtube. About $5-$8 depending on size of roll.

Feather duster:
I have a couple of simple feather toys that I really, really like. Coupled with a blindfold, this is the ultimate in inexpensive sensation play toys. You can use a simple feather bought for under a dollar from the craft store or an immaculate ostrich feather. Imagine your partner lying across the bed in candlelight with bedroom eyes. Now imagine running a feather across their skin. “Nuff said.

Ruler or Wooden Spoon:
Now I have a good collection of wooden spoons in my kitchen. And anyone in our family knew that was the one thing my Mom used to threaten us with (even now as adults) when we were being rotten. I also have a few favourites that are strictly used with my toy kit. Smile. As well, rulers from Staples are interesting if you are a little kinky. With imagination, they have selection of paddles to put most sex shops to shame. A ruler like a wooden spoon is a classic impact toy, with all kinds of wild associations. You and your play partner will probably adore this even before you add in teacher/student role-play or Catholic schoolgirl outfits.

Tenga Egg:
You either love these or they leave you completely indifferent. Tenga’s are little silicone hand job sleeves that come packaged up as cute eggs. The interiors feature bumps and grooves designed with pleasure in mind. With a little lube you run them up and down the penis and watch his eyes roll back in his head. They can be washed, or thrown out afterwards. I find that one lasts about 10 times if you are careful. And each variety (indicated by name and colour) offers different terrain inside. I also suggest them for guys with premature ejaculation issues. They are about $10 and are available at most sex stores.

This $15 toy is the ultimate in versatility. It requires a few small batteries but it really moves. You can use it around nipples, the clit, the head of the penis, the back of the testicles, and anywhere except anally. They are small and may get lost in there.

Other items that you can find around the house that are great and inexpensive to add some heat to your regular coupling are:
Chocolate sauce (I like maple syrup), clothes pins, latex gloves, almond oil, baby or olive oil, pet store leashes and collars, and shower curtains or drop clothes (for protecting the bed).

The goal here is to try things that are out-of-the-norm and work at keeping the sex spicy. Making efforts to keep the sex new and interesting pays huge dividends in all aspects of your relationship.

The new Ora “oral sex toy” from Lelo. Worth checking out.

Back in the 1990’s one of the best sex toys in the world was something that looked like an 18-inch replica of Gene Simmon’s tongue. Invented by a housewife with five kids in the suburbs of Toronto The Tongue by Lady Calston toys was something completely new in the area of women’s romance items. “The idea came to me in the middle of the night” said Darryl Brown, the inventor, during an interview with me in 1993. “Women didn’t need a vibrating penis, what we wanted was a tongue.” She requested that her engineering husband design and manufacture it for women and it was the subject of a number of articles including one in Playgirl (back when people read Playgirl), and Cosmo.
It was funny looking, loud and undulated in a strange way. It was slightly off putting with a large nubby cow-like tongue at the end. But it was the closest thing I had ever found to replicate oral sex. Until now! the tongue

It turns out that just this month LELO launched in the U.S. a new oral-sex simulator that mimics a tongue’s movement with a little “flicking button”. ORA, the newest addition to the Swedish LELO luxury product line is a slight departure from the brand’s typical renditions of couples’ vibrators and “for her” stimulators.
There are so many different kinds of sex toys for women. Walk into any sex shop and you’ll see walls of toys in all colors, shapes and with types of vibration. Women are the focus of the sex toy industry, as opposed to male toys. Male toys are all variations on a tube and a hole with the occasional ring thrown in. But what should women choose when looking for a new toy? If you are a woman who enjoys oral sex (and who doesn’t?), you might want to look into the new Ora to add to your toy collection. This new product is definitely something beyond the same old vibration toy.

Lelo makes sturdy, well-made toys with that usual Swedish practicality. This continues with the Ora. It’s small, circular and easy to handle. It is rechargeable and it comes in a fetching purple color. It both vibrates gently and has a slight bulge at the bottom that moves back and forth in a flicking motion. Place it against your clitoris for any length of time and I guarantee it will start your motor. It is soft enough to be a first toy for women who are little alarmed by the size of most vaginal toys. It certainly doesn’t have the zero to sixty energy of a magic wand or pocket rocket variation, but for a new, unique toy it is a very fun addition to an inquiring woman’s toybox. It certainly held my attention.

What to do this Valentine’s Day? My simple suggestion for intimacy

Sometimes guys can mean well but be clueless. It is partly because of the differences in the brain wiring and the different ways genders approach language. As a rule, and of course with exceptions, guys are more linear and respond to both acting on specific directions and solving problems put to them. Creativity is often not their particular strength. So here is where they crash into the wall known as Valentine’s Day. The media says “buy flowers, a card and a box of chocolates and you will be a hero”. So they do, and women are appreciative but are not blown away and guys don’t understand why. They did exactly what they were told and what they thought was expected. There is letdown on both sides, a $100 plus bill to be paid, and everyone ends up agreeing Valentine’s Day was a waste of time.

Clearly, something has to change. So I suggest that in advance you decide as a couple to generate some romantic time and manufacture the desired results. It sounds contrived to take the spontaneity out of it, however with multiple distractions in our daily lives some effort is actually required to focus on the one you love and it just doesn’t generally happen all by itself. Scheduling intimacy makes it a priority, and thus important in our lives.

So print this off, and read it as a couple. Here is your recipe to a night of re-connecting.
1) Book dinner at a restaurant you have never been to. (One partner can be in charge of this task)
2) Stay in physical contact with each other as much as absolutely possible at the restaurant. (You can start in the car ride on the way there). Be as naughty as is both possible and appropriate for the surroundings. A booth at the back helps!
3) No cell phones, email checks, work or kids talk. Focus on yourselves and why you fell in love. Don’t call home to check on the kids, the babysitter is doing great and the little monsters are enjoying their parental vacation.
4) Listen to your partner. Really listen! Make sure your head is clear and nuisance thoughts are not creeping in. Make him or her feel important and be your complete focus. They are the only person in the world who matters during your time together.
5) Plan something for the two of you in the reasonable future. And follow it through. Whether it be a bucket list trip, taking up a hobby together or purchasing season tickets to the opera or the upcoming football season. As long as you both are into it, or at least prepared to give it a real try, having something to look forward to is critical.
6) Leave enough time in the evening to come home for sex. Whoever didn’t book the restaurant gets the job of planning the sex. Add one new wrinkle that you both are comfortable with and which adds an element of excitement. If you have spent the evening touching, eye gazing and talking about your future, you should be very ready to cap off the night with a little horizontal dancing.

The next morning, hopefully there is a bounce in both your steps that wasn’t there the day before. And romance and Valentine’s day has been elevated to what it was intended to be.

Valentine’s Day Date Activities for under $50

After Halloween, Valentine’s Day is my favourite holiday of the year. Maybe its simply the amount of chocolate that goes on sale. Either way it’s the day of the year when you take a moment out to tell your partner that you would pick them all over again if you had a chance. It’s the day to kiss them and formally remind them of how important they are. As I tell my clients, “you don’t buy your parents a Valentines.”
But staying away from the commercial aspects of holidays is difficult. I much prefer having experiences and time with my sweetie than more stuff. And besides I just got everything I wanted for Christmas. So in the spirit of romance, I’ve come up with 5 activity suggestions that say “I love you” all under $50. Enjoy and take some time this February to frolic naked. And unlike lots of date suggestions (unless you live in Australia) you can do them in the four feet of snow that we usually have in mid- February.

1. Micro beer tasting. I don’t know about your sweetie but mine is loving all the new micro breweries popping up. Locally Mill Street has some great new blonde beers, and their raspberry fruit beer is hugely popular. Try an evening of romantic taste testing. Grab a number of creative cans (I buy it based on whether or not the name makes me laugh) set up a blindfold taste testing. Add some sweetened beer nuts between tasting and you have a fun date activity. And think of all the uses for the blindfold. Smile.

2. Geocaching. I have friends that swear by it as an adrenaline pumping date activity. Geocaching is a worldwide game of hiding and seeking treasure. A geocacher can place a geocache anywhere in the world (think: the middle of the forest or top of the Empire State Building) and pinpoint its location using GPS technology. And then you share the geocache’s location online. All you need to get started are a GPS device and the whereabouts of a “treasure” listed on the website.

3. Try the love hunt couples scavenger hunt from the Seriously the PERFECT at-home Valentine date! My favorite part is the love hunt and the task and clue cards that are INCLUDED FREE!

4. Hit the books with your significant other by learning something new together as a couple. I did an informal poll and my female friends sighed wistfully when they spoke about taking a class with their sweetie. I like salsa lessons, the make-your-own-sex-toy-class (, erotic massage, tantric sex courses as a few ideas. In Ottawa Elaine Comeau at wild pigments art classes does a learn-to-paint-for-two (as well as singles classes) 613 558-6507.

5. Try an out-of-your-comfort-zone activity with your partner. I have a girlfriend who is trying rock climbing at the Sandy Hill Community Center with a guy she’s dating. I have tried sword fighting as a Groupon recently that had me sweating and feeling uncoordinated. I loved it. There is a batting cage in most cities that may be worth a try and having your sweetie show off his expertise in some area increases his testosterone and makes your Valentines Day memorable.

The 12 Sexy Days of Christmas. This year’s best sensuous holiday presents

I have friends who are totally into the Black Friday shopping experience. The idea of fighting for parking spots at outlet malls, and waiting in line at Target may be some people’s idea of fun, but it isn’t mine. But it does remind us that even without snow on the ground, it is time for my third annual list of sexy holiday gift ideas. Some of the gifts you can buy locally, some you need to do some power online shopping (so get on it before the rush hits), and some just require some effort and almost no money. I know it doesn’t feel like Christmas (I am still looking at the Halloween sales for next year’s costume) but if doing something intimate for your sweetie is a priority, you may want to start thinking about some of this year’s items. Either way, have a great holiday and you can expect to hear from me in January. Smiles, Sue So what do you get a partner this holiday that says, “you are the sexiest person I know but it elegant, upmarket and makes them bite their lip and smile knowingly? I collect a list of things I covet throughout the year and put them all here. Hint Hint.

1. Faux bearskin rugs. If your fantasy is to frolic naked in front of the fireplace then these rugs are the accutraments you need. Under $50 and you can even get the fetching zebraskin model. Go to

2. Music for Lovers. The Sarah Vaughn collection is entitled exactly that, “music for lovers”. I also like the Seal Soul collection (he has a new one out), or the John Legend CD. A fabulous soundtrack for romantic days in bed.

3. Cashmere Throws. Nothing says, warmth, intimacy and romance like cashmere. One of my favourite things are my cashmere gloves. But Amazon has some great buys on cashmere throws

4. Boudoir Photograph. – I think every woman needs a sexy photograph of herself. And given that men are so visual, it is the most titillating and sensuous of presents. I am hosting a women’s boudoire day on Dec. 1st. Space is limited, and we are doing make up, wine and munchies and and a great photograph in the outfit of your choice for $50. See below for details.

5. Ipod powered Vibrator. If you have a hip, music lover for a partner then have a look at the music-powered vibe. All the rage this year, you can sometimes find them at the local adult store or order it in the colour of your choice at

6. Silk stockings. It still stops most men in their tracks. Classic stockings and garters are by far the most common sexual fetish. I get mine form the European lingerie line that has taken the world by storm over the last three year. Quick shipping to North America. I dare you just to buy the one item off their website.

7. Chocolate covered Strawberries and a breakfast tray. I was in Westboro this week and the Kitchenalia on Richmond Road had amazing breakfast in bed trays. They are easy to make too if you are on a budget and can dip your own strawberries. Otherwise, go a few stores down and get the strawberries from Truffle Treasures, the yummiest local confectioner.

8.Movies to Boff to. Everyone needs an erotic movie collection. It needs to be more than just porn. But if you want porn, I like the Pirates series, just about anything from Candida Royale, Andrew Blake, or anything that’s won an AVN Award. Those are always the big budget movies with a storyline. But for curling up (on the new bearskin rug) I like some of the oldies. Exit to Eden (with Dan Akroyd and Rosie O’Donnell) has Dana Delaney in one of the hottest sex scenes I’ve ever seen. There is a new movie called Secretary that’s pretty racy. I like Bull Durham with Susan Sarandon, and Body Heat with Kathleen Turner. Finally Out of Sight with George Clooney feeds my wicked fantasies about George and I.

9. The Sham-Wow flogger. I’m not kidding – a full flogger made out of those car shammies. A girlfriend of mine has one and I’ve been wanting one since I first saw it in June. They are soft, but will still give you the feeling and sound of flogging-only without the pain. The deerskin ones come close, but the shammy ones are absorbent, and don’t hold odor. Very fun. These are hand made and you can’t find them online ( and I looked). The only place that seems to carry them are Wicked Wanda’s on Bank Street.

10. Avatar Flesh Light. The Fleshlight has now been round for a dozen years and it’s considered the Cadillac of men’s sex toys. It looks like something you can hide in your toolkit and is considered top of the line when it comes to sensation. Now they have designed one called The Alien Fleshlight”. It’s blue and the marketing is a la Avatar sex. A little cheesy for sure, but the reviews I hear say it may be a fun-but-useful gag gift in your partners stocking this year.

11. Incognito Drop necklace. It looks like an elegant silver or gold pendant, but it opens up to vibrating nipple clamps. How cool is that? The price ranges from $109 to $134 and its available at

12. The last item is a toss up. There are these beautiful Jimmy Jane blindfolds (either on line or I’ve seen them at Tuesday’s the Romance Store on Wellington at Holland). I also like the silk scarf tie ups you can get there as well. Or the burlesque lessons from Capital Tease and Rockalilly burlesque. Either way there are so many fun, sexy and intimate items that should be under your lovers Christmas tree this year. It’s time to get shopping while the selection is still good. Smiles, Sue

Why I love Halloween and why I’ll be buying discount costumes this week!

Halloween is my favourite holiday. It involves chocolate, scary movies, lots of Michael Jackson’s 80’s songs, and becoming anything I want to be for an evening. It’s the time you can buy discount gloves, funky pantyhose and cool contact lenses. I get to dress like a pirate and say “Arrrr”. It also means that you can flaunt your sexy self in a fun, creative and safe way. I went to three Halloween parties this year and the enthusiasm for the holiday abounded. Lots of diversity, lots of people feeling fun, frisky and sexy. It doesn’t mean trashy (Spif went to two of the parties in one of his three tuxes looking like Kevin Spacey), but it can. It means playfuland sex as I tell everyone is adult play. It’s the time of year when typical rules around buttoned down parent and office worker by day becomes your Superhero alter ego by night. I wish there were costume parties every month.

As a sex therapist I’m always encouraging fantasies, role playing and feeling sexy. For women especially, feeling sexy means looking pretty and having great shoes. I mean women get that its all about the clothes. Most men  interest in clothes involves taking it off of us, or what we look like in lingerie. I constantly preach the need for newness to create that heat that ensures passion the other 364 days a year. You NEED to play with your partner. So I encourage you to start a tickle trunk this week. The Halloween costumes are 70% off and you can find a few sexy things to wow your sweetie. Consider it a date night and go play with leftover bunny costumes. It’s good for your relationship, imperative for keeping up the passion, and will let you drop those inhibitions.  I’m looking forward to seeing the pictures.