Category: Sue’s radio shows

Sexual intimacy as a Canadian election issue.

ipoliticsPierre Trudeau defined one of the great beliefs in being Canadian when he stated emphatically that “the state has no business in the bedroom of the nation.” Canadians across the country nodded their heads in agreement. I would argue that like socialized medicine and hockey playoffs, this phrase of tolerance and acceptance is at the very heart of Canadians. But I also think we can be hypocritical in owning our legacy of personal intimacy and sexual tolerance. With the threat of the next election (at any level of government) always hanging over our heads, and politics in general at the forefront of every news cast, is the issue of how we define ourselves with respect to our families and our sexual expression an important topic for the general public and political parties? Are we concerned about where the candidates stand on those personal issues like sexual expression, legalized prostitution, family law and reproductive rights? One could argue that these issues impact the very core as how we define ourselves. Clearly it’s fair to be worried about the economy, the environment and global safety. Most platforms are based on these issues. And frankly, government policy and programs have always been focused on these issues. There is no getting around the importance of day to day managing the country’s affairs. And if these operational issues are all that concerns you, so be it, if not then it’s time to ask your candidates and representatives some hard questions.
We as Canadians generally believe that we are accepting of our similarities and our differences. Do you believe that our sexuality is open and tolerated by most of the country? But before answering whether or not you think that intimacy is a political issue there are some questions that we should be considering. Do we want a government that bases its policy on Christian values (or more specifically, ideals taken from a 2,000 year old book) or bases its policy on current Canadian values? As a country we are less involved in religion than ever before. Mainstream religion for the most part preaches monogamy, pro life, anti-gay policy and criminalized prostitution. It is a very much a one man and one woman married till-death-do-us-part philosophy. The irony is that we actively oppose some societies where religion dictates policy. This is not the definition of family in Canada anymore. How do we want to define ourselves as a nation?

Before Jian Ghomesh was outed as a sexual predator last fall, Elizabeth May waded in saying that BDSM play should have no impact on anyone’s employment status. She was the only political leader who came out with a position on alternative sexuality. In February with the launch of the 50 Shades of Grey movie all the morning show hosts I listened to were labeling anyone who wanted to play in the area of domination and submission as “freakish”. If you want to tie up your consenting partner is that anyone else’s business? Given the number of copies 50 Shades of Grey sold in Canada it turns out that a great many of us may be freakish. You may argue that we currently have gay marriage, abortion (in some of our provinces), are working on right to die policy and (up until recently) prostitution was allowed but these key defining values were Supreme Court decisions based on the Charter of Rights. The government we elected to make policy did not bring these issues forth. Does the government represent our values? Is anyone really asking us what we think? This is not a partisan discussion targeting the Conservatives. Historically the Liberals have avoided these issues as well. And certainly, the other parties have not made these core defining issues major planks in their platforms.

As a sex therapist I am often asked about the question of morality. I have a client whose wife has a debilitating disease and who is not able to have sex in any way. He is asking me what is possible, socially acceptable, legal, and reasonable to engage in to get his sexual needs met? What about couples who want to expand their sexuality with an uncoerced, happy, paid sex worker? Religious leaders and feminist groups would say that there are no such prostitutes. I would vehemently disagree, as I know a number of them. Also, let’s not confuse consenting, ethical adults (the Canadian standard we all agree to) with sexual slavery, child prostitution or drug addled individuals without the capacity to consent. Once again it came down to the Supreme Court which ruled nearly a decade ago that couples who want to engage in extracurricular sexual activities are allowed. Sex and swing member clubs are legal in Canada. And there has been a proliferation of these clubs and a growing number of Canadians questioning whether monogamy works in a country with a 51% divorce rate. I know another couple in a polyamorous relationship where all four people live together, raise children together and jointly own the matrimonial home. Tax and family law is not able to keep up with a growing number of re-defined families such as these.

My practice is full of couples who are struggling with all of these questions. Even ultra right wing couples who rarely tolerate deviations from their perception of the traditional norm want to know about all of the options that will spice up their marriage. As a generality, all parties seem to be squeamish about these questions and hide behind old school Christian rhetoric. I think Canadians want and need to discuss these topics. Parties will stand up for the environment, civil rights and all things they believe to be in the best interests of Canadians and mankind in general. But they won’t talk about human sexuality and definitions of intimacy.

As a happily married couple with an active sex life you may feel like these issues don’t matter to you. You may also say the same thing about assisted suicide or abortion. But someday these issues might be paramount to you or someone around you and your MP (or MPP) who you have access to (or at least you should have access to) doesn’t want to discuss or contend with your issue. You are left with the courts to decide and once again the average Canadian has no say. Appointed judges are actually governing our country when it comes to our most personal issues. I spend a great deal of my year traveling outside of the country. Internationally Canadians are perceived as a polite, placid, and understated people. But most of the world has no idea as to how we define ourselves. We refuse to address any issues that matters intimately to families. We are political dishwater.

Future elections will be fought over pipelines, jobs and debt. All very important issues. But I would argue that who we are as Canadians when we climb into bed at night is equally important.

Looking for participants for the new reality television show! Free stuff

Cheeky Tomatoes

A Women’s Makeover group – Find your toes, kick start your hormones, learn what you could look like with a little expert polish. It’s for women who want to feel better, look better and re-claim their sexy selves. Cheeky Tomatoes is a new reality based multimedia program using television, social media and print.

CT tackles how to go from being doughy to daring with a six week overhaul. Feeling the love with a like-minded supportive group this small test group will improve health, fitness, and happiness. At least that’s the goal. The show will be unique as the host and therapist will be both leading and participating all the being authentic ( that means cursing when she stubs her toes on the fitness equipment). The process will give viewers the tools to change their own lives.

The show is made up of a crazy team of Bonita the brainy social media intern, Trav the streeter guy (who looks like the lead singer of Twisted Sister) and host Sue McGarvie who Oxygen network calls “North America’s funniest and sassiest Therapist”. The Cheeky Tomato pilot will lead seven women (including Sue – do what you do, not what you say) on a six week makeover. Everything from food, fitness, great relationships, and beauty the Cheeky Tomatoes will show you that you can re-invent yourself with grace, kindness, humour all the while trying not to worry about the muffin top hanging over your sweat pants. Candid, warm, and inclusive this show gives everyone the tools (using the latest in research, life coaching and state of the art expert help) to re-design their bodies inside and out. Love and Lipstick has a mantra that states that “the quality of your life is the quality of your relationships”. Cheeky Tomatoes will make sure that the relationship with yourself leads into great relationships with others.

The show will choose six women between 35 and 50 who are motivated to work hard, be honest and have a great attitude to be the participants in a life changing experience. The audio and video will follow them on their trials and use new social media to make the tools available to audio and video streams as well as conventional media.

Production begins in September 2010. Experts include Dr. James Lacey plastic surgeon/laserbotox doc par excellence, Melody the make-out make up guru from Smashmouth, and Linda from Flash on fashion and style (and tons more!). Sue will take the lead on issues of libido and great relationships, and the team from Premier Fitness will put those muscles to work.

Follow these women as they connect, curse, cry, kibitz, carry-on, and re-create themselves.

Write the team at for more information.

Trying to tie together all of this social media stuff. Fun on last night’s boob show and free breast massage/hypnosis!

Come check us out at!

I am busy hosting the new talk show on Last night we talked about breasts! I have a couple of breast hypnosis and grow yours packages left Over $400 in value to increase your bust size. Write me and I can give you the package. Thanks for listening, Sundays 8-12.

Ottawa’s sexiest couple as part of the new Love and Lipstick radio show

We are looking for Ottawa's sexiest couples!
But sexy is defined as who you are, NOT what you look like.
I dont need pictures, I need descriptions of what makes you sexy.
Have you been together forever and still get butterflies when he/she walks through the door?
Do you take romantic adventures and feel super connected?
Does your partner clean off your car, bring you tea, rub your feet, send love notes in your lunch and do things that make you feel incredibly loved?
Then I want to hear from you!!
I want couples in all age groups, so if you still have 80 year old grandparents who are still "goosing" eachother, then have them write me!
At Love and Lipstick we define the quality of your life as the quality of your relationships. 
Men define themselves by what they do professionally, women by who they are and relationships by how close and connected you feel.
Lets start by defining what is sexy to you.
We will be having contesting as adventures for Ottawa's sexiest couple, so I want to hear from you!Sex with Sue, 99.7 EZ Rock  

Last night’s radio show

I had a really fun show last night talking about male sexual problems.  I love my job.  I get to talk about sex, and had a bunch of guys call in responding to my guest James Whittall, founder and President of men essentials, the first men’s cosmetic site.  He espouced on about the benefits of edible testicle talc (sweaty nut powder), and how his article about shaving Private Ryan, but have a listen yourself.  It’s a 14 minute kick ass interview about the benefits of bikini waxing and going hairless for men.  If only all my guests were as cool and funny as James.  Download james_whittall.mp3 see pic of James below


I also had this question from a listener in response to last night’s show:

Just heard your radio show for the first time, while doing some late
night driving. It would be great if everyone could talk about sex as
openly as you do. I have a question about semen. My semen is often refered
to as \"very thick\", \"chunky\", \"lumpy\" etc. Is thick semen (lumpy)
considered normal? I consider it normal for me, because it has always
been like that. But with the comments, I am starting to think maybe it
isn\’t so normal.  L.

Hey L, lots of men have different consistencies to their semen.  Provided it doesn’t have an odor, or change color, I wouldn’t be concerned. Semen can be influenced by such things as food, fluid, amount of times you ejaculate weekly (I think it should be 4 times a week or more, to clean out the prostate and make the semen more fluid.) Temperature can also influence it. Any woman knows that her body temperature causes the drip-down-the-inside-of-the-thighs phenomenon, within 15 minutes after unprotected ejaculation is deposited in the vagina.  So don’t sweat it.

More cool stuff tomnorrow.

Still feeling the love,