I did a talk recently to over 600 women physicians at a National Women in Medicine Conference. What came out of it was the need for more information about female orgasm and how to treat it. Yes we are stuck on issues of low libido, but an inability to achieve orgasm can impact up to 34% of the population.
I was asked for a list of suggestions on how to finally “get there”. They can run from less to more intrusive but they are a good list to work from if you are troubleshooting lack of orgasm. Before it even starts make sure you are clean, voided and relaxed.
1. Clit piercing. Really. I have one and they especially help women with too much skin over the hood of their clitoris. Research a great Peircer but they are not as out there as you might think.
2.Scream cream. Read the link and the prescription on how to use this magic cream to increase blood flow to the genitals.
3. Fantasy, porn or erotica. I have a number of women who can’t climax unless they can have a story in their heads. Many women are ashamed of what they are imagining and they shut it down. You can think of anything in your creative imagination that gets you off. Remember it’s just a thought so stop editing yourself.
4. vaginal kung fu. Really. It involves jade eggs of other vaginal strengthening devices. Read more.
5. Scent. You may think aromatherapy sounds like hocus pocus but many women seriously react to scent. Great oral hygiene, and partners that smell good make us weak in the knees.
6.Ground up Valium or muscle relaxant in lube. It can loosen the muscles of the vaginal walls and make penetration more comfortable. It also allows more blood flow to the nerve endings of the clitoris. I am also hearing great things about the CBD oil for internal relaxation as well.
7.Dry humping. Yup, re-live those High School days. For loads of women they need less intense stimulation and through their clothes actually works.
8. Clench your ab muscles like climbing a rope in gym class. Something about tightening those abdominal muscles seems to really help.
9. Anal. I know more than a few women who need a butt plug, finger, or something vibrating in their ass in order to reach orgasm. Give it a try.
10. Increase your oxytocin levels. The best and easiest way to do this is to have lots of nipple stimulation.
11. And speaking of hormones that might be a problem. Speak to your doctor about getting tested. You physician can prescribe oxytocin, testosterone, DHEA, progesterone or estrogen (the sex hormones) in the right dosage for you and finally get you over the hump.
12. Focus on 10 and 2 O’Clock. Touching those spots on the sides of the clit offers most women the best kind of orgasm-inducing stimulation.
13. Give yourself a deadline. Sometimes the thought of sex going on forever can feel daunting. And some women simply need a target to try and achieve. Set the tier on your phone and see what happens.
14. Make sure your feet are warm. The study from North Carolina said that cold feet can decrease a woman’s ability to reach orgasm.
15. Lose the high heels and work on your posture. Sometimes it can be as simple as a tweaked back nerve.
16. Stimulate the left side of the spine. It helps trigger the orgasm reflex. I know a woman who can climax from having the top part of her ass on the left side bitten.
17. Try a hot wash cloth on the vulva before sex can help dilate the blood vessels.
18. Rate the pleasure and trick your brain. It helps get your head out of your grocery list and sneak up on their orgasm.
19. Find the most sensitive part of their body and spend loads of time on it. Gentle touch on the outside in and go very, very gently. There is a great article in Tim Ferris’s 4 Hour Body book about the benefits of feather soft touch.
20. Try some of the new toys. I’m a big fan of the Zumio, the Intensity, the Magic Wand, and the We Vibe.
School of Sex. Gooey Girl Bits!! The Vagina, vulva, clitoris all explained.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
2:00 PM to 5:00 PM
The Rosemount Orange Hall
41 Rosemount Ave, Hintonburg, Ottawa, ON
Everything you wanted to know about the Vajayjay but didn’t know who to talk ask. The next in the series of School of Sex is the female genitalia. Or how to stimulate, tease, understand and amplify the pleasure of the female genitalia. Get information about the erotic, the medical, and the sex therapist point of views. Great instructors to find out what’s current in the part of women’s bodies that everyone wants to know more about. Really understand your anatomy or the anatomy of any women in your life. Discover new ways women can reach orgasm. Especially if orgasms are difficult. G spots, u spots, X spots and the like. Get the inside track of new organic products that lube you up, make you taste wonderful and keep your girl bits all dry and smelling nice.
Yoni massage (the tantra word for vulva) will be covered and you can learn how to stimulate all of the nerve endings both inside and out with one of the city’s best erotic masseuses. Learn about the different clit pumps, the scream cream, and acupressure points that can trigger female orgasm.
Finally test out the brand new $1000 infrared internal wand that tightens and helps diminish vaginal pain.
If you are a friend to the vagina, vulva or clit this is going to be an interesting workshop. We will have some vendors at this event (there are so many new, cool things to showcase), the usual snacks and a chance to really understand how amazing female genitalia really is. And like all Duckling events it is fun, social, warm, and inclusive.
Educational, fun and with the essential life experience that everyone who has a vagina, wishes they did, or regularly wants to play with one needs to know about.
$30 including refreshments. This is an open event so everyone is welcome. Bring a friend and find out all about the Ducklings and our School of Sex series. Discounts for the next six School of Sexes and therapy receipts are also available. Click here to find out more and sign up!
You can pay at the door but there are maximums that the room holds so purchasing in advance is strongly encouraged.
SPEND THE DAY LEARNING AND REBUILDING WITH GROUND BREAKING AND LIFE CHANGING SPEAKERS
ALLOW YOURSELF TO ENJOY A DAY DESIGNED JUST FOR YOU, INVEST IN YOURSELF!
LEARN FROM FOUR LEADING EXPERTS WHO HAVE LIVED THROUGH IT ALL
Give yourself the gift of re-igniting and rebuilding your relationships. It all starts with you!
Allow yourself to work from the outside in and the inside out and get clear about what you want in your future.
Empower your sex life! Find out how to increase your libido, ignite the passion, and discover your authentic sexy self.
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REACH DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF TO RE-BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE, RE-FRESH YOUR VITALITY, AND RE-CHARGE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO JOIN!
“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.”
FOUR LEADING EXPERTS
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In a fun and exciting environment; give yourself the gift of this amazing opportunity to ignite your inner change and connect with others who want to rebuild, restore and refresh.
Do you know why you do the things you do? Do you know what your patterns are in relationships, why they exist and how to change the ones that are just not working? It all starts with you! With Diane’s help you will learn why you do the things you do in relationships, why you pick the partners you do, and how to empower yourself to create the best relationships possible.
Good sex is part of a healthy and abundant life and is an important part of the human condition. Food tastes better, the sun shines brighter and great sex is the glue that sticks relationships together. Find out how to increase your libido, ignite the passion, and discover your sexy self. We will explore new models of relationships, learn about the five things you need to understand before meeting a new partner, and make your intimacy magical.
Going through transition and starting over can be very difficult. In this session Pierrette Raymond, life makeover specialist, will guide you through a powerful experience of getting clear about what you want for your future; how to let go of what no longer serves physically, emotionally and psychologically. Pierrette will help you move forward and live your life to the fullest. This session will leave you feeling empowered knowing that you can do it, you can create the life that you want, your way.
Money – one of the most powerful forces in the world. Do you understand it all? Judith Cane, Canada’s Money Coach does and she’ll share it with you through a dynamic, engaging presentation. Got questions? Ask. Answers? Judith has them. Plain-talking, point-making, educational and entertaining, Judith Cane, will help you to re-ignite your money plans, re-think your spending and make sure you are in charge of your credit and cash flow.
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Guest medical write B, who has listed the discussion points about female sexual dysfunction or low libido. She does a great job outlining the reasons for female sexual dysfunction. The challenge is to supply solutions. In the next blog i have a checklist including blood tests and other troubleshooting ideas that you can bring to your doctor (or go through on your own) to figure out why you’ve lost your loving feeling.
I rushed in 7 minutes late, Bridgehead coffee in hand, inadvertently displaying to my tiny class of eight where my loyalties lie in the morning. Caffeinated and ready to go, I was expecting the typical Monday morning routine: hypothetical patient presents with a slew of symptoms. Discuss what you would ask in your history, which investigations you would order, and which imaging tests you would run. Diagnose and treat.
This morning’s case, however, was a little different than the typical chest pain or sore back. Patient: 30-something year-old female. Presenting complaint: low libido & loss of sexual interest. With more than one third of Canadian women experiencing low libido and sex drive, it is a real and pervasive issue that doctors must be trained to address. The reasons for which a woman might experience low sexual desire are complex and multi-faceted. To varying degrees, physical & psychological causes, as well as hormonal changes, and relationship problems can all contribute to a loss in a woman’s libido.
The female sexual response cycle is broken down into four phases: excitation, plateau, orgasm, and resolution, any of which can lead to low libido if disrupted. The excitation phase, lasting anywhere from a few minutes to several hours, occurs as a result of physical or mental erotic stimuli. Simply put, it’s in this stage where we start to get all hot ’n bothered. The plateau stage is basically a continuation of the same changes evident in the excitement stage. For those who don’t often achieve orgasm, this is the peak of sexual excitement. The orgasm phase is well, orgasmic. Knees weaken, heart rates shoots up, body spasms occur, and we get an overall euphoric sensation. This euphoria is caused by a rapid release of the feel-good hormones, oxytocin and endorphins. Finally, the resolution phase allows the muscles to relax, blood pressure to drop and the body to slow down from its excited state.
The are plenty of reasons why one or more of these stages could be disrupted; stress, fatigue, poor communication, and a lack of intimacy with your partner are among the top culprits. Surprisingly, while a glass of wine may relax you and make you feel more amorous, too much can actually spoil your sex drive. Also be aware of the effects of certain medications; anti-depressants, such as SSRIs, are notorious libido killers. There are also dozens of physical and hormonal causes that should be investigated as well. Women’s hormone levels fluctuate greatly throughout their cycle, affecting everything form their mood, to their appetite, to their sex drive. While less common in younger women, certain chronic conditions such as arthritis, coronary artery disease, anemia, and neurological diseases can also lessen a woman’s libido. As women enter menopause, their estrogen levels being to decline, resulting in decreased lubrication, and at times, decreased sex drive.
Female sexual dysfunction affects more than just a woman’s sex drive. It can have major implications on her relationship with her partner, as well as her overall wellbeing. While several drug companies have attempted to create the female equivalent of Viagra, the results have been underwhelming. Viagra acts as a vasodilator, increasing blood flow to the genitals, allowing men to sustain a longer erection. Drug companies have found that the male brain responds to medically induced physical sexual arousal with a corresponding increase in psychological sexual arousal, but the female brain does not. If a man is physically turned on, he will also become psychologically turned on. Women, however, seem to require more than just physical stimulation.
The question then remains – if there isn’t an easy fix like viagra, how do we address women’s sexual dysfunction problems? We must treat the cause. Women should work together with their their family physician or find a sex therapist to try and pinpoint potential causes. Since female sexual dysfunction is often complex and multifactorial, women need to be patient and understand that their problems won’t be solved overnight. Physicians may suggest an alteration of certain medications, a referral to a psychologist/sex therapist, or a detailed work-up for potential medical causes.
If you experience persistent, recurrent problems with sexual response, desire, orgasm or pain that distress you or strain your relationship with your partner, then do not hesitate to address this problem with your family doctor. This is a very common issue that affects more than 30 percent of women. Doctors are well-trained to deal with these issues and refer you to the appropriate services if needed.
It makes me really, really mad. This woman, 27 year old Myla Dalbesio the face of Calvin Klein’s Perfectly Fit and a size 10. She is considered too fat to be a Victoria Secret Model. This stunningly beautiful model is considered plus sized by the neurotic, size obsessed fashion industry. How can we make this stop? Is size zero the only number?
This weekend I’m running yet another body image workshop for women too ashamed or scared to show their bodies to their partners and the world at large. I’m trying to stop the self loathing one woman at a time. Come join us in Ottawa Saturday morning if you are feeling like hiding as well. ” title=”body image workshop”>How can we stop buying into the concept that because we aren’t supermodels then we aren’t good enough!
I’m working on the 10 things you can do to really accept and love your body sexually. Here’s what we do in the first couple of sessions.
1. Do a vision board on a sheet of Bristol board that outlines to pictures of who you are and where you want to get to.
2. Hypnosis audio using self talk and the messages you want to say to yourself to change the message in your head.
3. Read something about health, positive images, nourishment, or being all you can be every morning.
4. Try to get in some exercise- even if its small in your day.
5. Stop comparing yourself to younger, prettier people. People’s views of their bodies are not only cruel but inaccurate.
6. Shut out the critical inner voice that tells us we are flawed. Use an elastic band around your wrist if you have to.
7. Realize this voice is a mosquito – not a dinosaur. Focus on your breathing until it goes away.
8. Keep pictures of your self that you like around you to look at. Notice how beautiful you are. Smile at yourself.
9. Make an effort to only say good things about you. Peel off the layers of self criticism and self loathing.
10 Acknowledge that you have a body image monologue. Notice it when you are comparing your own body seize to someone else’s. Or thinking something catty. Notice the differences but don’t judge. Think and say nice things. Those messages will pay off.
And hum to yourself….
I see the magazines working that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
Come on now, make it stop
If you got beauty beauty just raise ’em up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top
Yeah, my momma she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night
You know I won’t be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,
So, if that’s what’s you’re into
Then go ahead and move along
My first baby was close to 10 pounds and had the head the size of a cantaloupe. It felt like I was ripped in half and it took a bunch of stitches to pull everything back in place. I have never peed the same since. So like many of my patients, I am always wondering if my vagina has a “cave-like quality”, or as my partner teased when I told him the title of this blog, “can you park a Mac truck up there?”
So it was with some interest that I read about the vaginal tightening cream “that will turn you as tight as a virgin”
It’s all the rage in India. The BBC reports on the controversy surrounding the commercial. (see the link). But in a nutshell here’s what it does:
It is an unusual take on Bollywood.
“I feel like a virgin,” she croons, although the advert makes it clear she is not.
Her shocked in-laws look on, before her husband joins her for some salsa-style dancing.
“Feels like the very first time,” she continues, as she is twirled around.
Cut away to her mother-in-law who begins by responding with a disgusted look on her face, but by the end of the advert even she has been won over, and is seen buying the product online.
So what does it do?
Think hemorrhoid cream for your squishy parts. 18 Again ingredients include pomegranate, aloe vera, punica granatum, alum, gold, woodfordia floribunda, almonds and Vitamin E. You are suppose to take a quiz to determine if your hole is a little on the loose side and then pony up the $45 bucks to make it tight again. Many of the listed ingredients will moisturize while contracting tissue but does it make you “feel like a virgin’? Many women groups are saying that now a saggy snatch is the latest thing we have to worry about in fighting gravity and feeling inadequate over 30. I’ve written to the company and asked for a sample. If I get one, I’ll happily wax poetic about any results I might experience.
I was sorry to hear that Sally Ride dies this week from pancreatic cancer at the age of 61. The first American woman in space, she was an understated and brilliant astronaut who became an outspoken advocate about girls science and math education. I remembered seeing the pictures of her (with her wild curls) in 1983 when I was in High School. I still couldn’t have done math then but it was big of her to promote it at the time. She was cool.
What was interesting to me is in her obituary, she lists her partner of 27 years, Dr. Tam O’Shaughnessy – a woman. So in a move that was unusual and classy her sexual orientation didn’t make it into any of the media. Her orientation had no bearing on who she was, but name another political figure in the US where that fact wouldn’t be the first thing mentioned? Having been to NASA recently, you can’t help but think that the US space program was the ultimate bastion of male testosterone. There is nothing more phallic than one of those rockets. And not only did Dr. Sally handle herself through that with grace and elegance, but she did it as a lesbian. I can’t imagine the strength of character that would have taken in the early 80’s.
I’ve been reading this week about the craziness of American society. With theater massacres, and stories of rampant drug use you can’t help but wonder if it is a culture that has lost its way. And then I read about the women like Sally Ride who are quietly making a difference. More like her please and the world is lessened because she’s not around.
So Jenny McCarthy, author, centerfold, actress, Mom, comedienne, and former Mrs. Jim Carey is gracing the cover of Playboy for her 6th time. She likes these pictures of herself best. Is it that women over 40 more comfortable with themselves, or are older women coming into their beauty in a new way? Ask Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, Jodi Foster, Elizabeth Hurley, Selma Haylek who all think they are at their sensuous peak in their 40’s.
I asked a couple of patients of mine this week who are in their 30’s about whether they would prefer women in their 20’s or 40’s. All said they thought women at 30 were perfect, but would prefer 40 to 20. As one patient said, “Sexy is a combination of body and attitude, and I think attitude is more important than body.”
Jenny McCarthy loves her new pictures.”I think they are classy and beautiful. I did it 20 years ago in 1993. It was kind of on my bucket list to do it again before I turned 40,” she said during an appearance on The Wendy Williams Show last week. “I’m so tired of seeing just the 20 year olds being considered sexy. I was like, ‘MILFS are hot, too.’ I’m getting better with age.”
I can’t remember the last time I actually watched a beauty pageant. But I admit to a certain girly fascination with the cinderella type experiences. Like the Amy Farrah Fowler character on The Big Bang Theory, the bridesmaid in me loves the pink dresses and hoopla associated with pageants. It’s soooo politically incorrect and yes it objectifies women. It also makes one feel completely inadequate about your body. So why does it have a “train wreck” kind of fascination to me and other women my age? Reading about beauty queens is kind of a guilty pleasure like eating truffles alone or diving into a Harlequin Romance novel.
So over the weekend Olivia Culpo was crowned Miss USA. Culpo, a Boston University sophomore, will take a year off from her studies to tackle her duties as Miss USA and represent the nation in the 61st Miss Universe contest in December. The 20-year-old Culpo voiced her support for transgender beauty queens during the make-or-break interview round.
She claimed she wants to see transexuals in the mix. So do I. Not only do I think it is a human rights issue (like allowing women to be members of Augusta golf courses), but it will encourage one of my favourite games. Blaik and I play it in the hot tub and around the pool during holidays when trying to determine if someone’s breasts have been augmented. Are they real or not? In this case, it will be “real girl, or great plastic surgeon?” I’ll look forward to next year’s pageant winner. Maybe I’ll even watch.
I had lunch with a woman I knew from University this week. She was one of those women who wasn’t classically beautiful, heavy around the hips, ordinary job but had men follow her every move. I remember wondering what she had that “got the guy”. It seems not much has changed. She has a handsome husband that adores her, but the waiters still hovered.
I remember that #1 best selling book rom the 70’s written by “J” on How to be a sensual woman…
She spoke of seducing Kings an politicians, businessmen to playboys. She spoke of her secret of being inatey sensuous. But how do you learn that?
I’ve seen it in a number of women throughout the years.
Four qualities men across the board are looking for. 1. Casual eye contact with great body language. 2. sexiness in spades. 3. Sell how fun they are. 4. Have a duality of vulnerability and toughness.
Relaxed, sensuous, casual and fun. It is an appealing combination that no guy can resist.
One man’s “sexy” may be another man’s fat…
One man’s “sexy” may be another man’s scrawny…
But sexy means that you carry yourself well, dress to be classy but sultry, make eye contact and are generally comfortable in your skin. Happy, doesn’t try too hard, has some depth (ie. kind but no pushover, smart but asks for help, independent but please opn the door). Stop worrying about everything else and feel not think.
A little complicated?
Fun means happy, playful, flexible, independent, spontaneous, upbeat, smile and eye gaze.
Confident, don’t try too hard. But how do you learn this? I have a plan that I am working on with the sexwithSue team and my radio show. Men fall in love with how you make them feel, no with you.
Happy playful sexy. Let’s change the tape in your head.
Stay tuned for the 10 steps to landing the guy you want.
Marilyn would have been 85 years old today, June 1st. She shares a birthday with my 3 year old niece, and I was reading about in the “if today is your birthday thing in the newspaper.”She’s in the news again this week because of an envelope of negatives some guy in New Jersey bought at a garage sale. It was Marilyn, posing at the beach in a bikini and they may be worth millions. The last thing I bought at a garage sale were french onion so bowl for $2. I doubt they will leave a legacy for my kids.
Anyway, I was trying to understand the appeal that has only added to the mystique of one of Hollywood’s great sirens. Robert Greens’s book about Seduction talks about the duality of persona’s. He says that when your brand says two things about you, it creates new thinking.
In Marilyn’s case she had both the sex appeal and the little girl innocence about her. It was that combination of ed her or take care of her that made men crazy. Betty White in her heyday did that combination as well. I’ m trying to think of current example. Try Lady Gaga. Outrageous, reinventing herself, and sexy.
Monroe is a cult figure and almost a characature of siren. It was a role that didn’t allow her to be authentic. It may have been what cost her her life. But in a recent poll, it turns out ht she wasn’t our favourite screen sex symbol. That honour goes to someone who could always stay in character. Jessica Rabbit from the “Who framed Roger Rabbit” movie.
“It’s really interesting to see that an animated film star topped the list ahead of real-life Hollywood stars like Marilyn herself.” Below is the list o the top 10 Hollywood sex sirens. As for Marilyn, the little girl like quality, the class, and the absolute femininity made her unique among generations of starlets. Happy birthday Marilyn.
The G-spot is defined as a cluster of nerve endings deep in the vaginal wall, the G-spot when stimulated, can produce an incredibly intense type of orgasm.
The world of sex research has been a buzz about this new discovery, since the G-spot was first described by Beverley Whipple at the annual convention of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality in 1980. Many women claim that reaching a G-spot orgasm has been the high point of their sexual lives.
Women who have not experienced the type of vaginal orgasmic response a G-spot orgasm produces often feel frustrated and left out, that they are somehow missing out on a secret so special that they must be doing something wrong. I have had many women speak to me of the intense Richter scale orgasms associated with G-spot stimulation. Other women who have never heard of the G-spot and the intense orgasms it produces feel ashamed or scared when they start “gushing” and get really aroused from vaginal stimulation.
I first became interested in discussing the G-spot and disseminating information about it when I spoke to a woman who had experienced these intense orgasms and who thought something was seriously wrong with her. She had been to her doctor discussing the volumes of fluid gushing out of her, living in fear of a life threatening illness or physical deformity associated with these sensations and fluid expulsion. The later part of Quivering Jello: How to Have Mind-Blowing, Toe Curling Orgams has stories from real-life people who have had these kinds of orgasms and suggestions for how you can reach one too.
Unfortunately, many physicians are unaware of the recent developments in G-spot research and are unable to alleviate the fears and concerns of their patients who experience this kind of sexual stimulation. In fact, some well-intentioned but seriously uninformed doctors have even encouraged women to have surgery to correct this “problem”. Producing fluid and having a mind-blowing orgasm from your vagina is not weird, or abnormal. It’s healthy, sexy and something every woman should have the right to experience without shame.
These women thought that they were urinating, that they were incontinent. Other women have been told by their doctors to just stop having orgasms and that would stop the fluid from coming out! Obviously, these doctors weren’t doing their own hands on sexual research to find out how amazing a G-Spot orgasm can be.
As a sex therapist, and (for more than ten years) the host of a call-in radio talk show about sexuality, I hear all kinds of questions and problems from women and their partners about how to reach the elusive G Spot orgasm. The material collected for this book has been the result of conversations with thousands of people as a therapist and a radio host, who tried new and unique things in the bedroom. There is a collection of letters further on in this book that offer real-life suggestions and strategies couples have tried in enhancing their lovemaking.
Have you signed up for the FREE full coaching at www.sexwithsue.com yet?
This nerve center deep in the front wall of the vagina is about an inch and a half in, underneath the bladder. Don’t despair initially if you poke around and do not feel anything. One listener described the amount of pressure needed, as having to press hard enough to “pick his wife up with his fingers.” Very long fingers would then be needed to determine the position of the G-spot when lying on the back.
Many women I’ve spoken to find it easier to reach the G-spot if they “bare down” or push out with their genital muscles. Initially, the G-spot feels like a tender spot, and when the g-spot is continually stimulated then it feels like “you need to pee badly” (Carrie 27, listener) The G-spot is located just underneath the bladder, and this is a normal feeling that goes away in a moment if stimulation continues.
The key is that if you can push through this part, and keep on continuing after short pauses, the waves of orgasm start building in intensity.
Some, but not all women if the stimulation builds (especially if there has been a recent clitoral orgasm), or if the re is clitoral stimulation at the same time. My client Jennifer says it feels best if her partner makes a motion with her finger like a “come here” signal, that with enough pressure can bring her to a G-spot orgasm.
The Exact Spot
Let’s be really clear exactly where the G-spot is. It’s located roughly in the middle of the front wall of the vagina. One way to find the location of the spot is to pretend there is a clock in the vagina. If twelve o’clock is pointing to the navel, it is also indicating the position of the G-spot. The sensitive part of the spot is not exactly easy to find, being embedded deep in the vagina wall. So unlike the clitoris, this deep-seated cluster of nerve endings is not as obvious and as easy to find.
One listener suggested that if you could reach underneath the clitoris, from the inside that is where her G-spot would likely be situated.
If the G-spot is stimulated sufficiently, and the intensity is there, many women can have multiple orgasms one after the other. I had one women listener who wrote me saying she could see “colors exploding behind her closed eyes”, when she was having this kind of stimulation.
It was great to see you at Sexapalooza, and I look forward to sending you more free stuff!
If the whole vulva was a clock, then the clitoris would be at 12:00. The G-spot would then between 11:00 and 1:00. Realize that this is deep stimulation near the back of the vagina, and on the actual spot – say half-way up the front wall.
Go into the vagina, feel under the curve of the pubic bone, then right after the bulge of the bone, directly under the “clock” or straight under the clitoris, along the ridge of the bone should be where the G-spot nerve endings start.
While offering clitoral stimulation (a mouth works best) use a hard “come here movement” at the spot. Stop if it gets too intense or if your hand gets tired but resume the stimulation. You can cheat by using a G-Spot vibrator that looks like a “J” to do some of the work inside. Don’t be afraid to use fairly firm pressure.
Try having your partner (if she’s not in a daze of Quivering Jello by now), press down on her lower abdomen. You are trying to get to deep seated nerve endings and pressing down helps.
Some women claim crunching their abdominal muscles – almost like doing a sit-up helps. Others find it easier, on their stomache with genitals in the air and having their partner going in from behind- pressing down works well.
Tickle gently the opening of the urethra. This is the tiny hole she “pees” out of just above her vagina. If she’s going to ejaculate – this is where it comes from.
If you can get a couple of fingers inside her vagina, try that –especially as your knuckles massage back and forth almost like the Queen “waving”.
A fuller bladder helps increase the sensation – so make sure you have lots of towels if she has one of those orgasms where she sees stars and releases lots of vaginal fluid. Intense stimulation on her clitoris (try a small clit vibrator) while working the G-spot spot seems to work well.
If it gets too intense, stop and start the stimulation. Most women need a number 30 second breaks or so on their way to orgasm. If it gets too crazy, stop for a moment before resuming the stimulation. You can handle more and more intensity as it builds towards a crushing orgasm.
Finally, it may take you a few weeks of trying this to finally get it. Stay with it, the work is fun and the payoff enormous. The female body can do amazing things- experiment with different kinds of stimulation, and soon G will be your favorite letter in the alphabet!!