Someone asked me this week about the most common sexual problems that I see in my office. Certainly low libido tops the list. 1 in 3, and 10% of men struggle with a decreased appetite for sex. Beyond sex drive challenges, issues around painful intercourse (dyspareunia, vaginismus and vulvadynia), the next common issue is challenges around reaching orgasm.
I offered up this list to three patients this week who have had trouble climaxing. Beyond a good vibrator (and I like the 110 volt massagers like the Hitachi Magic Wand, or the Wahl massagers), privacy, clearing your mind and a partner who knows how to use their tongue (along with fingers) what’s a woman to try in order to get there?
Here is my list:
1. Make sure it isn’t medication interfering. Birth Control pills, anti-depressants etc. interfere. Try the Elixir or Wellbutrin brands if you need your mood medication not to interfere with your sex drive.
2. Orgasm cream- I like the Pink, Kama Sutra, or Oh My brands of menthol and L’Arginine to open up blood vessels and help you climax.
3. Consider a clitoral hood piercing. I know it seems scary (and let me tell you it did hurt- but all is well). And yes I really do have one. If I can do it, you can too. They really increase the sensitivity.I don’t quite reach orgasm climbing stairs, but it helps get you there more quickly and easily. Write me at sue@sexwithsue.com of you want any more specifics as it’s not something I’m ready to blog about. But I’ll give you the skinny.
4. A new shower head. Most women can climax in the hot tub if they have the time and privacy. The shower head let’s you get there quickly. If you haven’t tried it $20 at Home Depot and you’re spending far, far more time in the bathtub.
5. The new Intensity vibrators. I love them. They have an electrical current that runs through them as you are being stimulated clitorally. It helps increase blood flow and tighten up the PC muscles. The effect is almost too intense, but the orgasms are powerful.
For men, the creams help, cooling the bedroom temperature helps, and adding a small amount of vibration behind your testicles (on against your prostate either outside or inside) helps as well. Let me know if you have any questions as most orgasm problems can be solved quickly, by phone, for less than the cost of getting your car repaired.
