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Green protruding things

Happy St. Paddy’s Day         More sexy conversations…

Well as I figure out blogging (as I silmultaneously work on the podcasting), I’m trying to post interesting and useful stuff a la the Scobel and Isreal book Naked Conversations. (my podcast had the sexy conversations title before I found the book guys) I’ve never been cool but I’m trying, and after some green beer this afternoon, I thought I should post on the good, the bad and the ugly of green things during sex.

I had a few thoughts about green protruding things. Whether it be cheap satin underwear that turned my vulva from my favourite shade of GM sportscar pink (I can’t wait to be old, swear alot and drive a vulva-pink sportscar, but I digress) to an awful shade of green, I realized that green isn’t a color you want associated with your protruding parts.

I often talk on air about how relatively safe oral sex is.  Hey, even in Health Canada’s latest (Jan. 2006) publication on the state of the AIDS infections in Canada couldn’t state that AIDS is transmitted orally.  Unless you’ve just had teeth pulled, and have gaping, oozing sores in your mouth (and then the thought of fellatio at that time seems incredibly unpalatable), oral sex is, all things considered, a safer sexual activity.  That is, unless you have Green, foamy stuff coming out of your genitalia. That’s usually the clap or the gon…, which burns when you pee and smells something fierce. I remember the first time someone came into the birth control clinic with a raging infection (kind of like when someone forgets a tampon inside) it is the most putrid smell imaginable…Now I’m being gross, but it’s my important safety tip of the day. Don’t go down on anyone with green stuff because you can get the STI (sexually transmitted infection) in your throat. oowwww.

I can’t think of anything else that’s sexy green unless you caount my sparkly, open-toed shoes I got to match a hideous bridesmaid dress once. My foot fetish patient got all turned on in my clinic when I tried to have his appointment wearing them… Live and learn.

So I guess kermit was right.  It’s not easy being green.  At least not in the bedroom.

A demain.  Sue