Have you heard about the new “become a virgin again” vaginal tightening cream?

My first baby was close to 10 pounds and had the head the size of a cantaloupe. It felt like I was ripped in half and it took a bunch of stitches to pull everything back in place. I have never peed the same since. So like many of my patients, I am always wondering if my vagina has a “cave-like quality”, or as my partner teased when I told him the title of this blog, “can you park a Mac truck up there?”
So it was with some interest that I read about the vaginal tightening cream “that will turn you as tight as a virgin”
It’s all the rage in India. The BBC reports on the controversy surrounding the commercial. (see the link). But in a nutshell here’s what it does:

It is an unusual take on Bollywood.

“I feel like a virgin,” she croons, although the advert makes it clear she is not.

Her shocked in-laws look on, before her husband joins her for some salsa-style dancing.

“Feels like the very first time,” she continues, as she is twirled around.

Cut away to her mother-in-law who begins by responding with a disgusted look on her face, but by the end of the advert even she has been won over, and is seen buying the product online.

So what does it do?
Think hemorrhoid cream for your squishy parts. 18 Again ingredients include pomegranate, aloe vera, punica granatum, alum, gold, woodfordia floribunda, almonds and Vitamin E. You are suppose to take a quiz to determine if your hole is a little on the loose side and then pony up the $45 bucks to make it tight again. Many of the listed ingredients will moisturize while contracting tissue but does it make you “feel like a virgin’? Many women groups are saying that now a saggy snatch is the latest thing we have to worry about in fighting gravity and feeling inadequate over 30. I’ve written to the company and asked for a sample. If I get one, I’ll happily wax poetic about any results I might experience.