How to get rid of the late winter blues. Sex toys!
Okay, having been a sex educator, therapist, radio and television talk show host, and sex shop chain owner, I’ve seen ‘em all. All the good, bad, ugly, and exceptional romance products, batteries sometimes included.
With two trips to the far east to see the huge manufacturing plants in off shore China, and Hong Kong, a visit to the California Doc Johnson football field-like warehouses and having attended to Vegas new product and AVN shows, as well as speaking and interviewing the most diverse group of owners, inventors, purveyors, and users of these toys I’ve amassed the definitive list of great –must have products. These are the toys for every person who wants a good toy, but who’s idea of sex doesn’t include a 9 volt battery, a chicken feather, a Little Bo Peep costume in men’s XL and a vat of gelatin. I’ve been called – the “sometimes silly, soccer Mom of sex”, and one hell of a therapist.” Take it for what it’s worth, but at the risk of sounding immodest, I know a lot about adult toys.
This site also gives you a list of inexpensive, toys you can put together from the grocery store and your local hardware store to have THE toy box of tricks. There is a lot of junk out there. Products made with the cheapest of toxic plastic (read the article about poisons in many of these toys) and sold for a huge mark up without explaining the benefits, the risks, the cleaners, and why these are good for you (your partner and will leave you squirming with delight).
I only sell these Sue recommended products. I guarantee all of them, will send you a free e-mail download code to get the audio “ listen to” MP3 stories and fun suggestions that will leave you knowing all the tricks, and can be used as a fun bedtime story with your partner….
I’ve got audio interviews with Dell Williams of EG, Darryl Brown of Calston , and Serenity of AVN in my listen to Sue section, and have all of their recommendations. I’ve interviewed my staff, patients, listeners, and friends give their recommendations of the best products on the market. Finally, some celebrity comments round out the things you need to know about sexual products and why the enclosed list is all that you need to satisfy any non-deviant desires.
The stuff I affectionately refer to as the weird and the wonderful (think serious bondage, and alternative sexual experimentation) won’t be found on this site. I will get you the top product in each category that you need to be the satisfied and experimental person you’ve always wanted to be. So if you are looking for products, here are the few best products I stand behind and will get to you quickly, discreetly, with my utmost respect.
So here they are….
This was the “sex toy of the year” in 2003, and have been going through evolutions ever since. Small, quite, with this cool pouch (complete with belt loop!!!!) so you can pretend it’s a cell phone for those emergency work days. Possibly the world’s smallest vibrator (actually it isn’t, but you could say “possibly”). It fits on your finger and provides an amazing tease. These finger mounted sex toys have an incredible 9000 vibrations per minute. Yeah!. It is entirely wireless and little clips to hold it securely on your finger. It also comes with extra batteries. Great for external clitoral or prostate (P spot) stimulation. The only downside to these toys is that these little batteries, while great for specific stimulation, making it small and convenient, don’t pack the serious power of some of the bigger toys. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll get off, but if you are the give-me-the-power-turn-it-up-to-11 kind of person these little sweeties may not have the torque you need.
I like the new Bunnyjuice samplers. There are his and hers packages with cockrings, bullets, a tenga egg, condoms and lube. Small, discreet and cute. Great for an inexpensive Easter gift. Called love kits and retailing for $19.99. They have a great site and the kits make a great starting point for beginners. http://www.bunnyjuice.com/collections/lovekits/products/pillowbox-lovekit
2. The Amazing, Stupendous Rabbit
And speaking of Easter….
Immortalized forever on Sex in the City, (this is the one that Charlotte bought and then stopped leaving the house, and Miranda and Carey had to do a Rabbit intervention after finding her disheveled and completely satisfied), This is a great, wonderful, must-have, incredible toy that you buy for yourself or for any woman in your life, -think bridal shower, sister’s birthday, grumpy boss, whomever…. Lot ‘s of guys claim to be jealous that they can’t move like that. I say that it means less work for the guys, and if you’re a smart guy, you get her close with the Rabbit , and then come in for the finish and end up a hero. Besides what else are we to do during hunting season, the World Series, and business trips??? These vibrators have a penis head and a bulge in the middle with Wiggly moving pearls inside. They work inside and out. The Twisting and vibration of these vibrators can be changed by the controls on the base. The branch stimulates the clitoris and you end up singing Ava Maria. Takes 4 AA batteries, that should be removed between usage to keep it at top power.
One of the togetherness toys for heterosexual couples, that is the great equalizer when it comes to climaxing together. With the possible exception of the Rabbit, was the thing we were least likely to keep on our shelves at The Love and Romance Stores. It has a whole in the middle that slides down to the base of the penis a happy little nose that says a big Hi to the clitoris when lined up, and a flippy tail that offers up both participants perineum ( or the “taint”) stimulation. With over 70% of women incapable of climaxing during intercourse as the clit sits up high forgotten and neglected, this little number makes it all the humping and pumping worthwhile.
This is the toy that if your Mom finds in your sock drawer, she won’t know that it’s actually for putting a smile on your face. They’ll never get in the way, but they’ll take you all the way! Most sex toys don’t even compare to this one but you get two together, they fit in, on or around every orifice in your body. The universal shape, can put it inside, outside, against the head of the penis, nipples, and in combination against the testicles, it’s great alone, but it’s real beauty is as a tandem toy. Think two for the price of one- this is a great starter toy.
Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.
This is a great pretend artificial vagina. It’s considered one of the 7 wonders of the world for the guys who have tried it. Perfect for business trips (you can then use it for phone sex and stay connected), it doesn’t trip the metal detector, and fits snuggly in your hand, and around other more protruding parts. It might not look like much, the shape isn’t quite inviting, but I have it on great authority, it feels sooooo great. It is not vibrating, but it will give you a much better sensation than the cheap vibrating models. With thousands of different toys for women, the ones for men all resemble a tube and a whole. This and the Fleshlight are the top of the line.
Bunnyjuice smaplers. They are his and her packages with
Okay, this is the toy you can hide in your “toolbox” and know one will be the wiser. Well constructed, well made and with a great hook on that tube and hole thing, With the lid on, this discreet male masturbation toy resembles an over sized flashlight, but twist the lid off and a sumptuous pink mouth appears. These are so cool. If I had a penis, I would want one of these. Makes a great gift for the handyman in your life.
The slipperiest of lubricants. As any silicone based lubricant, it is not recommended for use with silicone toys. Good for any other kinds of tubes of in case of any other friction based emergency. Silicone lubricants can however be safely used with condoms or any other material toys. They do not dry out like water based lubes, but they are a bit harder to clean off. These can stay slick up to eight hours in a hot tub, and I once dropped a bottle of this on a pine floor and skated on the spot for weeks.
Endorsed by Angelina Jolie (Newswire, Nov. 23, 2005). What more do I need to say? She apparently walks around with her panties vibrating keeping her at a low level of arousal. I guess she has to do something with Brad away. The small two inch cushioned soft jelly (read –easy to clean), heart holds a removable variable speed Zippy Vibe that delivers strong clitoral stimulation. These fit into a little pair of panties(one size), or you can these comfortable, innovative, adjustable leg straps that slide over the thighs and hold the Sweet Heart snugly over the clitoris if you are more than a Barbie doll size, or want to go without. These products give a whole new way to make boring activities such as housework housework
Lube is your friend. No matter what your age or situation, lube keeps everyone slippery, comfortable, and makes good sex better. Made with hemp, grown in the wilds of British Columbia ( I have it on good authority that they grow lots of hemp out there), this stuff actually heals delicate tissues. I believe that if you are going to use a lube (and all women need a water based product so they don’t get bunged up), you might as well use a flavoured lube in case it gets in your mouth and you are stuck with that yucky lube taste.
With flavours like Pina Colada, Strawberry and Blueberry Cheesecake, and my personal favourite, low-fat decaf cappachino this is the best lube in the world…
The big breakthrough for women’s orgasms that happened in the last few years, this is the first, and I think the best, of the tingling orgasm creams. I call it the great equalizer, meaning if you have trouble reaching orgasm and have to practically sacrifice a chicken to get there, these creams open up the blood flow and can help a hard-to-get-there-girl over the top. For those of us who orgasm with little encouragement (practically just by thinking about Johnny Depp), it gives you a pleasant stimulation, but doesn’t put you over the top. What makes Viagra work is nitric oxide, a by-product of L-arginine. It’s also one of the main ingredients in Allura, and is safe and effective, and along with menthol (the other big ingredient), Allura definitely increases the blood rushing to your vulva. I have a friend who wants to be embalmed in the stuff.
Considered by Playboy to be one of the most orgasmic and successful erotic toy ever made. Redbook magazine calls it the #1 sex toy in the world and it’s designed by and made by a woman after exhaustive research who understood what women really wanted from a bedroom toy. The Tongue, is a life-like, soft and flexible toy of amazing strength, that looks like a large tongue. Different than other toys in that it doesn’t vibrate, it actually moves like a tongue, undulating back and forth to give you a unbelievable sensation that is unique only to The Tongue. It goes from slow to Ohhhhhh in one flick. The Tongue can be use either with batteries, or with any regular adapter for never fail use. The five speeds can build to a ferocious pace with a never tiring, never changing massage and rhythm. For any woman with a preference for straight up oral stimulation, The Tongue is magic with a little lube, and is great for insuring strong, consistent orgasms.
- The Night Cage – This is the perfect product for men on your list who like to jumped at any and every opportunity, and for the partners who like to be in control. It’s a full service cock ring that you can wear under your clothes, while you sleep or to give your partner the rock hard penetration that they are looking for. The magnets increase circulation, draws the blood in and holds it there, and the external nubs hits all the right nerve endings. Gives you an extra half inch of fullness that feels really wonderful to your partner, but doesn’t diminish your own sensations as so many rings and penile splints do. Perfect for wild weekends or for men who are looking for a little extra firmness.
- Strawberries and Cream – This is the togetherness toy for the majority of couples who’s female partners need clitoral stimulation during intercourse in order to climax. A soft jelly ring gets inserted on the down the penile shaft to the base, and then the attached vibrating knob sitting above the penis will press and vibrate against the clitoris during intercourse. It’s quiet so it doesn’t distract, and will be everything you need in order to climax together or regularly during intercourse which is the wish for most couples. But if you a working solo, Strawberries and Cream comes with a five inch multi speed vibrator that can fit where the penis would, and fully adjustable and removable straps can leave you hands free to act out the type of stimulation that you uniquely want. I’ve heard reports that either way is great, but Strawberries and Cream is the secret weapon that many couples use to bring them together in the bedroom.
- Clit Seducer – A unique product that has never been replicated, but uses you mouth suction to deliver stimulation without needing to be double jointed. A soft cup that you can place over a desired area such as your clitoris, nipple or head of the penis and along with a great variable speed vibrator, you get a PVC tube that you can put in your mouth ( or anybody willing to play along) and you give the added warmth and suction you need to go completely over the top. Guaranteed to enlarge your nipples and clitoris with use, this is an all purpose toy and one you should try if you ever feel that you’ve tried all there is in the area of adult toys. A must-have toy for the discriminating consumer.
- Tickling Bra – It has been proven that some women go absolutely wild for nipple stimulation. If you are one of the many who can’t get enough attention to your breasts, than the Tickling Bra is for you. Think of it as little vibrators pressed into flat pads that can be concealed in you bra, and the adjustable, removable straps, make for comfortable, invisible support. Quiet, and with a sucking motion this toy makes padded bras seem like your best friend. For any woman who turns to Jell-O with nipple play, there is no other product like the Tickling Bra that can put you in charge of the kind, amount and speed of stimulation anytime and anywhere.
- Jurassic Jewel– This toy acts in much the same way as a strand of Asian anal beads by using incremental balls along a shaft to hit all the anal nerve endings only these jewels are warmer, gentler, easier to insert, simple to clean and come with vibration just where you need it. According to Masters and Johnson “a large number of heterosexual couples incorporate some variety of anal stimulation into their sexual play…as it can be highly arousing and lead to male and female orgasms.” This toy works for both partners (it is especially powerful against the male prostate gland), and because the jelly is so easy to sterilize, and the small diameter tip is easy for beginner or more experienced use, which is why it’s so popular. If that’s not enough, the vibrating bullet can be inserted or removed, which is great if both partners want to be on the receiving end simultaneously or if you want to offer clitoral or penile shaft stimulation while working in the anal region and send your partner over the top.
- Virginia Slims – A long, slim hollow vibrating dong that comes complete with the ever popular and versatile bullet that can be inserted anywhere along the shaft for vibration where you want it. This eight inches is a woman’s favourite, great for small openings (both anal and vaginal) and can change from a vibrator to a straight dong just by moving the bullet. Virginia Slims is soft, slippery and slender. No more wishing the vibration strength was somewhere else, if you need a certain type of stimulation in order to reach orgasm.
- Wave Runner – This super stimulating curvy vibrator that fits the vaginal contours like a glove, is a huge seven and a half inches of soft, slippery firmness. The great thing about it is that it grows wider as it goes deeper. Finger holds in the base make it easy to grasp and the powerful vibrator with variable speed control that can go from soft to Oh-My-God with a slight flick, this toy is the one for anybody that likes it harder, faster, deeper, and fuller with a fit that you have never experienced with a straight shaft.
- Stubby’s – Vibrating 4 and ½ playtoy looks so cute, but they are truly effective. When you need fullness and not depth, these toys leave you feeling full but put no pressure on you cervix. Complete with testicles, these toys are great as an anal teaser but are easy to hold and firm enough to put constant stimulation on the clitoris and the vaginal opening where you really need it. These toys are lifelike, and for those who prefer wide to ling, this is the toy for you.