Questions and Answers – Trouble reaching orgasm with new partner

Questions and Answers

I Can’t Reach Orgasm With My New Partner

I am 52 and have always been very active sexually with my husband. Recently we separated (my idea – just so you understand I am not pining) and I have a new relationship. For some reason I don’t seem to be able to climax with my new lover. I get very excited very quickly…I just need to start kissing him and I am wet and ready for him. But I can’t reach orgasm. I should tell you I am postmenopausal but on hormone replacement therapy.
Signed Help

Dear Help,

This sounds like a straight mechanical problem. For some reason certain people fit together better, and the position of pubic bone against your clitoris may have been more favorable with your previous partner. This would have caused you to reach orgasm more easily. Often times people who are similar height, and body shape seem to fit together better than people who differ in size and shape. Don’t sweat it however. You may just need a little help until your body figures out how to adapt to this new kind of stimulation.

If you are confident enough with him, try using a small finger-tip vibrator (Lady Calston has a great one at, or a “raspberry,” a ring that goes around the penis with a soft ball on the end that stimulates you during intercourse. Being on top as well, with you controlling the depth of penetration, should also help you find that magical rhythm.


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