So I’ve decided I’m going to get my pubes zapped. After decades of shaving (years of those little red bumps), ingrown hairs in hard-to-reach-spots, screaming as the hot waxed is ripped from stem to stern, melting the hair with noxious chemicals in the creams that can eat through bathroom tile, and the “stripper sugaring” where you have to be a contorsist to get the popscicle stick down and under where it needs to be.
The beauty salon in my neighbourhood spent the hundred grand and bought a laser machine that magically removes hair, along with any age and/or wrinkles. I think I’m one giant freckle down there, but after two kids and not-so-elastic skin, my strechmarks could be superimposed on any map of Ontario. I keep telling myself that I am more than my numbers…..
Anyway for a mere $150 I can be smooth as a baby’s bum on my bum and private parts. The choices are the mohawk or stipper cut where all you get is a little racing stripe, a heart shaped, natural motif of the whole enchilata gone called the brazilian. I have a girlfriend that says her sweetie spends way, way more time visiting her deforested flower since she was zapped. Food for thought, and motivation if I’ve ever heard it.
The only thing I’m worried about is the pain. Considering that I don’t even have my ears pierced, I’m that much of a wimp, the laser really can zap my most sensitive neither regions…. I’ll keep you posted.
