The differences between men and women. A therapist’s summary.
I have a number of women coming to see me for dating advice in my practice.
They are smart, beautiful, professional women from good families who are independent, have friends and who have no idea how to attract a guy.
They set these unrealistic expectations about the perfect guy. He’s handsome, never married, willing to give them so much attention ad spend their waking hours planning the romance. If they are too busy, spend too much time alone or with the guys or don’t want to get serious quickly these women give them a pass.
Except that men are casual. They want a real relationship but then they also want the opportunity to bang the occasional waitress. They are focused on their careers and have an urgent drive to get established. They need time alone. They need NOT to be smothered. But they are loyal, caring and want to move forward, but the thought of commitment makes them soooo nervous.
Can you see the problem in this scenario?
So I keep convincing women to keep their dating ads short, fun, upbeat and casual. If its the right guy the relationship will grow and the commitment will “sneak up on him”. Keep it light, make him wait for sex, understand he needs to be and seem successful in your eyes (and his own).
So in a nutshell, here is the differences between the genders.
WOMEN want communication, closeness, attention, positive connection, attention, and time together, romance, thoughtful notes and presents.
MEN want sex.
Oh, and alone time, to feel independent and powerful and compare themselves positively to other guys. Oh and make their Mom’s happy. Did I mention the sex? And a woman on their arms they can be proud of.