Spring is the time when all the graduating medical and Ph.D. students publish their dissertations on what’s new in the area of sex and relationships. They have a number of cutting edge insights plus the occasional weird study that you can’t believe someone would actual spend years doing their graduate thesis on.
I’ve looked through the good, bad, and the I-can’t-believe-they-give-research- grants-for-this-stuff articles and I’ve come up with the best 5 new insights that may actually impact your life.
Inflammation
I know everything from orange juice commercials to Cosmo is talking about the benefits of Omega 3 fatty acids. It turns out the science is very compelling on why you should pick up a bottle. Sexual functioning is only one of the areas that is impacted by bumping up those fish oils. Some of the research is finding out that cellular inflammation impacts everything from chronic pain to heart attacks. A study from UBC suggests that increasing your inflammation-fighting supplements like ginger, turmeric, green tea, Omega 3, garlic and rosemary and making sure your doctor checks your blood inflammation marker (High RC protein) is critical for longevity. I know that inflammation is the biggest factor in helping women with low libido syndrome. So pass those flax seeds.
The Happiness Factor
Researchers at the University of Wisconsin have found that 50 percent of our happiness is determined by a combination of our biological heredity and early upbringing, while 10 percent is determined by our circumstances. What about the other 40 percent of our happiness? Can we stretch the limits of our preprogrammed temperaments to be happier? The answer is yes. Counterintuitive to what most people think, the researchers remind couples that marriage is not designed to make you happy—you are designed to make your marriage happy. The biggest hurdles to happiness as a couple? The study came up with 5 things; Not feeling loved (being told verbally or being touched in a loving way), not feeling special (date nights, being cherished), lack of respect, too rigid gender roles, and having your partner nitpick or nag.
Check out my audio interview with Happiness Guru Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project).
Another reason to have more sex. You make more money.
People who have frequent sex make more money, new research from the Institute for the Study of Labor in Germany reveals.
Sex four times a week will increase your financial net worth by 5%. People who get busy often tend to be happier and healthier — factors that are also linked to positive performance in the office. Earlier economic studies have proven that self-esteem, cognitive functioning and reasoning ability all correlate with income. The healthier someone is, the more money they tend to make. I tell my clients that every study over the last twenty years talks about how sex is good for you physically. Dr. Amen of Amen Clinic states that, “if your partner is denying you sex they should be charged with attempted murder”. Now it even affects your bottom line. Yet another reason to get horizontal.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
HUSBANDS ARE HAPPIER WHEN THEIR WIVES ARE SEXUALLY SATISFIED: The cliché says a happy wife is a happy life, and new research confirms it’s pretty much true. Researchers have found that a wife’s sexual satisfaction can predict her husband’s happiness. To find this, researchers from Ohio State University interviewed married couples to find out how much of an impact intimacy had on their relationship. They discovered that men reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction when their wives were sexually satisfied. Experts say this is because many men feel their main job in a relationship is to satisfy their wives sexually. Researchers say her sexual satisfaction is not just based on whether or not she orgasms, but also on the quality of foreplay, duration and frequency of sex and her partner’s adventurousness in the bedroom. (Men’s Health)
Five ways to spark your relationship
Do Go to Bed Angry
Research conducted at the University of California, San Diego, found that people often solve ongoing problems during REM. “When people sleep, the brain reshuffles memories, combining old associations and new ideas to come up with solutions.
Respect
Take care of yourself and try to put your partner’s needs as equally important. When you fight with your guy, do you vent online? Couples who post TMI photos or feud on Facebook make everyone uneasy.
Unplug After Work
“When you’re always working, there’s no division between the office and home, which increases stress in the relationship,” says Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women. Set a time limit for work, then unwind together before bed.
Outsource Housework
Mopping and scrubbing are necessary in any household, but get this: Husbands do fewer chores than live-in boyfriends. Sociologists surmise that social norms are more defined in marriage than in dating relationships. If dirty dishes cause tension, cut back spending each week so you can hire a cleaning service, then use the newfound time you have for something fun.
Call a Money Summit
Couples don’t usually split because they don’t have enough cash, but because they can’t agree on how to manage it. “Discussing your finances each month is crucial,” says financial adviser Manisha Thakor. Do you pool your money or separate it? Do you know how much each of you has at any given time? Airing your finances regularly will sync you two for the long haul.
