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Top 5 suggestions for finding a new love

marriage
Oprah came to Ottawa this month to talk about love, the universe and her awesome shoes. Women came from all over to be inspired, connect with other great women, and hear about what’s relevant to modern women.

One of her speakers was Columbia University-trained social worker Vasavi Kumar who spoke about how people can renew their dating life. Vasavi, who went from suburban married life to back on the dating circuit had some great ideas about finding a new partner. I just expanded on them and offer up “Sue-isms” that will keep you in play this spring.

Give the nice guy/girl a chance. Kind people don’t always finish last. I hear from my patients all the time. There is something about the bad apple that makes us weak in the knees. I wish I had given all the High School geeks more time when I had the chance. They all grew up to get amazing jobs and treat the women in their lives like princesses.

Don’t get stuck in a “type”-why to be open when choosing a date.
I tell women to look twice at the short guys, and for men to know that the “librarian types” usually burn hot. Don’t be shallow. Look past the looks, past the way he fills out his wallet, and find out if he/she makes you smile.

Find Beauty in Imperfection: “Ever wonder how some couples just seem to have it all together? Like their life is simply ‘perfect?’ With the age of Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites, It’s really easy to get caught up in the ‘their life is so AH-mazing and my life sucks’ mentality’. I have a secret to share with you. Most of the time what you see ‘out there’ is rarely ever a true representation of what actually is. You see, it’s easy to get caught in the ‘perfection’ of other people’s lives and miss out on the beauty of our own life”.

Don’t be your own worst enemy. Don’t sabotage yourself by listening to the voices in your head. Love Yourself First: “Dating isn’t hard at all. It’s hard however when you don’t have an intimate relationship with yourself. The problem is, when we are not happy in our lives, we bring that energy into our personal relationships. When you don’t know who YOU are, you will fall for anything and everyone OR you will continue to push away a potential partner because you believe dating has to be hard and how could it be this easy.” Think No BS. Don’t keep saying, ‘Why is dating so hard? I just can’t seem to find the right one!’ The fact of the matter is, if you tell yourself it’s hard, it will be and you will manifest that in every potential relationship.

Make yourself marketable. As a sex therapist I know that “men are looking for kind women that look good, who like sex.” Dating is the time to re-jig your look and spend some time honing the packaging. If you are really stuck, call the local modelling agencies. They can usually recommend an image consultant that will take you from geeky to gorgeous.