Why men don’t last. Why it happens, why its a problem and how to fix it.
I am constantly reading medical journals and sex articles in search of something new. For instance, women who have a longer distance between their clit and their vaginas are far less likely to climax during sex than women who’s vagina and clitoris are closer together. It turns out that there may be both a genetic and anatomical connection with men who suffer from Premature Ejaculation. Did you know that there is a gene for premature ejaculation? Think about it. 100,000 years ago some ancestor of yours came across a fertile woman. Before her father could find his club they had banged her and impregnated her quickly. The gene to get off quickly was passed along down the line you you. The moral of this story is that you can blame your Dad for your PE. Smile.
PE also happens with increased heart rate and faster breathing. We both know that our heart rate goes up by thrusting and as our excitement builds. Duh, Sue excitement causes us to hurry up as the little head takes over. Tantric or slow building sex works well to balance PE. Some of the creams work well. The new Promescent spray seems to have some success. For guys that seem to have no control I do a five step approach from the least intrusive to the most intrusive clinical things to help them last longer in the sack.
First I think keegal exercises help most men. Read my blog on tightening up that muscle by clenching and releasing the muscle you sit on. Then I implement the five stages of practical PE treatment all the while doing emotional counseling, teaching new sexual techniques and offering up the science of orgasms.
If you want to try-this-at-home and don’t want to try a counseling appointment here are my action items in order.
1. Try a cock ring around the top of the testicles, and a little desensitizing spray. Keeping your testicles down and your penis slightly desensitized delays climax.
2. I then use a different high octane spray and have them practice different ways of masturbation. ie. Masturbating with a rubber glove, leather glove, using cooling and warming gets, masturbation sleeves etc.
3. I have those one minute guys try about 10 mg of Cialis. I also add a testosterone boosting/estrogen blocker (supplement) to the mix. It turns out that Cialis and Viagra increase your erections, let you hard again quickly, and it slows down ejaculation.
4. I do sexual hypnosis. No kidding dealing with your subconscious mind works well for most men.
5. Finally, for men who still continue to struggle I send them back to their doctors for a short trial of antidepressants. I have loads of men on SSRI medications that have slowed ejaculation down to the point where they have the opposite problem.
That’s the general overview. The truth is that these steps really help but there is no one size fits all when it comes to sex therapy. Everyone is unique and I have to play with the options.
Get some help if you are having difficulties. Because it affects your partner. Have a read at the study that was published last week about delayed ejaculation and partner’s frustration. If its still not better drop me a line and we can set up a skype or in person appointment. I’m covered by all the health insurance plans so your employee benefits can cover the cost of an improved sex life.
New research suggests that when a man is too focused on delaying premature ejaculation, women are more sexually frustrated than when a man has an early orgasm.
Experts report that premature ejaculation causes increased psychological strain and stress on women as well as men.
In a new study, sex researcher Dr. Andrea Burri, a clinical psychologist at the University of Zurich, polled 1,500 women from Mexico, Italy, and South Korea and discovered that 40 percent report ejaculation control is very important for satisfactory intercourse.
Investigators found that it is not the short duration of lovemaking that is primarily regarded as the main source of sexual frustration by the majority of women, but the fact that the man is focused too strongly on delaying ejaculation.
As a result, he ignores the sexual needs of the woman and is unable to satisfy her individual desires.
For the majority of the women polled, satisfying sexuality does not only consist of sexual intercourse, but also includes kissing, caressing, and other forms of sexual stimulation, which are considered equally important.
If the man is primarily preoccupied with his problem — premature ejaculation and thus his performance — these needs are ignored.
“In the long run, the woman becomes distressed and frustrated. Much like the man, she avoids sexual contact for fear of rejection and the resulting trauma for her own sexuality,” said Burri.
The woman thus suffers a loss in quality of life and ultimately calls the relationship into question.
It is mainly women who do not perceive intercourse as the central aspect of sexuality, but prioritize sexual creativity that suffer from the man’s one-sided attention.
“Interestingly, lengthy coitus is primarily important for women who do not have any trouble climaxing,” says Burri.
For women who rarely reach orgasm — if at all — how long coitus lasts is not central. Instead, the sexual act serves to establish and experience intimacy and commitment.
Although premature ejaculation is also regarded as exasperating by women, the short duration is deemed less problematic than the partner’s inattentiveness towards their other sexual needs.
The survey reveals that an essentially harmonious relationship often ends in a split due to the woman’s psychological strain and bottled-up frustration.
The majority of the women indicated having been considerably more satisfied in previous relationships with partners who did not suffer from a sexual problem.
This was primarily linked to the fact that too much importance is attached to the problem of premature ejaculation in the current relationship.
Moreover, a quarter of the respondents had already experience a breakup in the past because of this sexual problem.
“After all, the consequences are often more far-reaching than simple sexual dissatisfaction as, in extreme cases, it poses a threat to the desire to have children if the man already ejaculates prior to actual intercourse,” Burri said.