Why women want sex on the beach….. or When in Rome.
Have you ever had sex on a beach?
No, I’m not talking about the cocktail with orange juice and vodka. I’m talking about sand in your bathing suit and fish nibbling on your toes kind of sex. Think of the “From Here to Eternity” scene where the couple is making out, rolling around in the surf and dream about how hot and exciting that looked. Many women associate the shore with spontaneity and vacation memories. The smell of salt, coconut tanning lotion are often triggers to some of our earliest sensuous feelings and are one of the top reasons that beaches are primary travel destinations for women.
So what is it about frolicking in unusual places that seems so enticing? When I speak to women about the best sex of their lives they invariably talk about parking, picnic blankets, or any place outside of the bedroom as their most memorable romps. They also talk to me about long, extended bouts of foreplay and the anticipation and excitement of the situation- rather than the actual deed. Men alternatively, seem to prefer interesting positions and extra long duration as their best sex. For guys, first time (new) partners or crazy new positions are the hottest. That along with spontaneous sex is the basis of most male oriented erotica. But women seem to like to experience sex al fresco. An unusual location allows women “to be carried away by the moment”. Women describe to me that the best sex is where they were able to be truly uninhibited. You aren’t likely to run into your neighbors on holidays, so vacationers are less concerned about knowing someone who might interfere with their day to day lives. The fear of getting caught appeals to some people’s exhibitionist tendencies, while knowing that “what goes on, on vacation, stays on vacation helps to relieve apprehension about being frisky.”
I have one colleague who describes herself as “Clark Kent while at home” and who only wants to travel to adult only vacation resorts where she lets out her wild self with her husband. She claims her “holiday alter ego” keeps her sane and connected through the rest of the year.
It turns out that many Canadian women have a fantasy about beach sex. In a new Ipsos Reid survey done for tripcentral.ca, 43% of women admitted that they had sex outside of their hotel room while on holidays. These women fantasized about sauna sex, hammock sex, public bathroom sex, and just about other private and romantic spot you can think of while on holiday. When I spoke to a number of women at a women’s conference recently, they told me that finding a private, tropical location for intimacy seems hugely romantic. Feeling the breeze on your skin, the sand between your toes—stimuli are very sensual and lends itself well to wild passionate love making. Many women want to be that fun and saucy partner, but clearing your head for sex takes time. It’s hard to do amongst the laundry, work, dishes and homework that make up most women’s day to day lives. One of my patients said “I have to work hard not to think about the grocery list or other mental distractions when getting in the mood. I think everyone needs sexual adventures in their lives. It keeps your sex life fresh, your adrenaline kicking in, and it gives you something to daydream about during those dreary February days sitting at your desk. One of the boot camp activities I do with couples involves “out of your comfort zone” adrenaline encouraging activities. This is everything from salsa dancing to white water rafting. The military uses adrenaline producing activities to bond “a band of brothers”. The same thing can happen during heart-pumping holiday sex. And according to the Ipsos Reid poll, at least 10% of the 1000 women surveyed had sex on a boat or in the hot tub.
I often ask my sex therapy patients how much sex they have on holidays. It’s a great barometer of the health of a couple’s sex life. If you have no outside stress, and your only decision of the day is a Mojito or Margarita, how easy is it to re-kindle some of that waning passion? Given that I think everyone needs sensual adventures, a great romantic holiday is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. It can certainly help your sex life.
And in keeping with the survey results, if you can sneak out for some discreet shagging outside of the hotel room then the vacation ranks up there with the best sex of your life.