Sex with Sue
Life after 40 should get bigger. And possibly a little wilder.
I’m Sue McGarvie. For 34 years, I’ve helped people untangle sex, desire and relationships. I’m a sex and relationship counsellor and educator, broadcaster, author of seven books and host of a global podcast. If you’re ready for better sex, more connection or a little adventure, you’re in the right place.
Where would you like to start?
What would make your life better right now?
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Each choice takes you straight there.
Want to talk something through one-on-one? Private consultations
Meet Sue
People tell me what they don’t tell their best friend.
For 34 years, as a sex and relationship counsellor, educator and expert, I’ve helped people talk about what’s missing and figure out what to do next.
Over40CONNECT membership
You’re not out of options. You’re out of introductions.
Your friends are lovely. Unfortunately, they keep introducing you to absolutely nobody.
Over40CONNECT helps you meet other adults over 40, make friends and explore dating through hosted events, online conversations and practice dating, with guidance from Sue McGarvie.
Come for new friends. Leave room for a little chemistry.
$14 a month
Friendship and dating for adults over 40. HST included.
What membership includes
- Community access: create a profile, join conversations and message other members.
- Events: in-person and online events, including member-only opportunities and preferred pricing where offered.
- Weekly live call: a Monday evening Zoom call to ask questions and hear from Sue.
- Discussion groups and practice dating: guided conversations and activities at your own pace.
- Resources and courses: books, videos, guides and training on dating, relationships and connection after 40.
- Profile and photo guidance: tips to help you introduce yourself and choose a photo.
Online and in person
Over40CONNECT brings adults in the Ottawa–Gatineau area together through local events and an online community. Join a conversation online, come to an event, or simply look around until you’re ready.
A first event might be a casual conversation over coffee. Some members come looking for friendship, others are open to dating, and many simply want more people in their lives.
More mates. More dates. Join for $14 a month.
Travel with Sue
Good company. Great places. Someone to go with.
Playful Coconuts is small-group travel for adults over 40: comfortable accommodation, good company and a chance to meet your fellow travellers before departure. Trips range from sunny resorts to touring destinations such as Ireland.
Wondering whether a trip is right for you? Book a 15-minute travel consultation and we’ll talk through destinations, timing and what to expect.
Kind words
What people tell Sue
I am in the throes of a new relationship and had the confidence to ask questions early in the relationship. I am actually very shy around men. You have given me so much confidence. … You are the best!!!
I continue to enjoy your emails, podcasts, and all your other forms of communication. … It is so helpful for me at this stage in life – as a mid-50s woman trying to navigate all of the complexities of love, relationships, aging …
Sue’s events and her guidance has me opening up and experiencing all kinds of things that I never thought I could do, and for that I owe her a great deal of thanks.
You have this incredible way of ensuring everyone has a sense of belonging and a caring way of getting people to open up in this safe space. Very grateful, thank you!
Your perspectives on dating are great, and I am pushing myself to change my pattern of waiting for someone to approach me. I have dating cards now and I have power thanks to you.
I just finished listening to your interview on the Ottawa morning show … I have to tell you that it was very heartwarming, especially the last line.
Sue’s newsletter
Your inbox could use a better proposition.
Sex advice you can use. Dating ideas that involve actual people. Trips worth finding your passport for. Get my latest videos, podcast episodes and invitations.
Read Sue’s Answers
The questions you’ve Googled with the bedroom door closed.
Browse decades of frank answers about sex, desire, bodies, dating and relationships. Start with what’s on your mind.
- Love and intimacyUncover the Pleasure Pathway: Which Sensual Archetype Are You?Why your best sex has nothing to do with lingerie—and everything to do with your “erotic fingerprint”.February 4, 2025
- Bodies and sexual healthPain-Free Intimacy: Addressing and Treating Sexual DiscomfortSexual pain is nothing to dismiss, and nobody should have to “take one for the team”.July 27, 2024
- Bodies and sexual healthHealthy Sex! Benefits of Being Sexually ActiveWhat an active sex life does for your emotional connection and your overall well-being.August 18, 2023
- Sex and intimacyReigniting the Flame: How to Spice Up Your Bedroom and Rediscover IntimacyBring back the art of seduction, starting long before you get to the bedroom.July 31, 2023
- Desire and attractionThe Allure of Uniforms: Why We Can’t Help But Find Them AttractiveThe magnetic pull we feel towards people in uniform, and what’s behind it.July 31, 2023
- Swinging and non-monogamySwinging Safely: STI Protection and Safe Sex in the Swinger CommunityExploring the lifestyle? Here’s how to look after your sexual health while you do it.July 29, 2023
Podcast
Turned On With Sue and John
Real questions about sex and relationships, useful answers, the occasional story we may regret telling, Sue’s Sassy Sex Secret and So You’re a Swinger.
- Why Sex Is Better Than PornEpisode 209 · October 20, 2026
- What Women Want In BedEpisode 208 · October 12, 2026
- Why Doesn’t My Partner Want Me?Episode 207 · October 6, 2026
Books
The subjects polite people avoid. Conveniently available in book form.
The Dating Comeback
Getting off the couch and back in the game.
Buy on Amazon
Stand Out By Chilling Out
Dating, women and sex: the guide for grown-up men.
Buy on Amazon
The Suburban Hedonist
How curious, smart couples explore ethical non-monogamy—without blowing up their lives.
Buy on Amazon
Nothing to Hide
A sex counsellor’s uncensored guide to hedonistic travel.
Buy on Amazon
